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Ash Sep 2021
a storm of smoke and flame
released by a violent, eldritch heart
ripped away from all I know
I watch the ashen rain
and the charred grey plumes
which tower over us
then nothing remains
by God.
california is a lovely state
Ash Dec 2022
Does he dream of me the same way I do?
Does he fall asleep pretending I'm in his arms too?

Am I ******, alone in my wanting?

My imagination is the only place he's mine, so I go back
Will I have his hand in mine, looking to the horizon?
Will he sink into my eyes the way I want to drown in him?
Will he decorate me with flowers the way I dress my heart with him?

I don't even know what my favorite flower is
If he asked, what would I say?

I've never needed an answer before
Ash Apr 17
An oath uttered to none is an oath unbound,
but the watchers, the gargoyles of the sky and the earth,
are all witness in the night
Ash Jun 2023
is it the golden threads of fate
or your puppet strings on my hand?
Ash Mar 14
hope coiled like a serpent around my neck
suffocating, like the smoke that fell from your fire,
burning away everything that stood here

but I kneel in the blackened soil
and rub charcoal and ash in the webbing
between my fingers—where yours once rested

appeased, she slackens, falling from my shoulders
as though dead, before slithering into the night,
beckoning—to follow her farther into the wasteland

I find my footsteps falling in her path
though she asks only one thing of me—to believe
to ration my reason, starve off my doubt

I protest with silence, but hope is a dangerous thing,
and knows that despite her, I will always return—
and never with a sword
Ash Jan 2023
one strike of that blackened match
and a million chromatic threads unwound
leaving only an ashen husk,
my timeless vessel
Ash Nov 2022
Thus begins the long winter,
the tolling of the bells and the names,
but now I look its wrath in the eyes.
Ash Feb 27
If my name's been dragged through the mud
Then at least it left a mark

What are you without cursing my legacy?
Ash Nov 2023
what figment of me
lives in your whispers?
what shadow dances
on your crumbling walls?
Ash May 19
as I step into this expanse
wild, roaring ocean and fields of sand
a breath enters and escapes me;
I find that my ghosts are falling behind
I made it to high school graduation. ❤️‍🩹
Ash Jun 2023
sometimes I listen to my old favorite songs and I think
of how those words don’t echo in my heart anymore
how the chains we shared have formed my
feathered wings,
and now I breathe, I breathe the salt air
not where we started, but where I begin
I am free.
Ash Aug 13
the moonlight glints off your fingertips
catching the glow—“just for you,” you say

the voice entwines with my ear, winds down
to my heart, pooling at the bottom of my chest
like a loaded gun, waiting for the trigger
to be squeezed just so, ending this sweet dream again
Ash Jan 17
Why, you must be a man made of marble—
What else could have sculpted a face so beautiful
And a form so lithe, yet untouchable?
Ash Jul 2023
they don’t believe me
they don’t believe me
they don’t believe me
they don’t believe me

maybe if I repeat it enough it will lull me into some sense of calm
it will become a fact, not a knife through my chest
Ash Nov 2023
I dream of an eye that regales me
In all this earthly form, not with greed
But as the masterwork of God’s brush
Ash Dec 2023
i grieved the fall
before i even took the leap

pulled off to the lookout
searched the vast horizon

and in the salt spray,
in every leaf and bramble
found you wanting
Ash Jul 2023
i am so tired
of being everything
all at once
Ash Dec 2022
I found myself, but I suppose it's time to do it alone
I'll weave my melancholy into my tapestry of prose
And I'll raft through the storm ahead without you
Ash Jan 9
if I can make only one request
would you dream of me?
Ash Jun 2021
the jade of my heart
an ever drifting sea of emerald
a soft summer breeze across
golden sands

november earth
and december snow
seasons of idyllia

stars adrift
shifting and searching, all for
a single rose buried
in a venemous cage
with love
Ash Nov 2023
the wind began to warble,
and so the blackbird whispered
"my heart is not a weapon
and my love is not a game"

Ash Jan 2022
was there even a sound?
tumbling to the earth
landing awash in our sins
Ash May 2023
we fell like the last rain
bookending a bone-deep chill
something to cling to, the pain
washed out from the windowsill
we both deserve better
Ash Nov 2021
can you see the sunset over the hill?
grass long forgotten, now only a pile of bones

and the stars hang over this church of ours
do you remember their names?
Ash Dec 2023
the veil of glamour and desire
that shrouds a heart, beaten so black
and blue, that deep down, revolts the
idea of ever being
loved, adored, or anything but
the maiming devil it knows well.
Ash May 2020
you are the eye
of the storm that

I watch and stare
and follow in

desperation
to live again

and I am the
wind that circles

around you I
empower you

but you don't look
or acknowledge

me you just keep
standing there and

be carried by
the hurricane.
Ash Oct 2023
Every time I have wallowed in my tears,
Every time I have drowned in my grief,
Every time I have loved and lost,
I remind myself—
It has been worse, and I have made it this far
I have made it this far
So that I can see through to better days
Ash Feb 8
I'd paint you in dreamscapes—
visions of rolling hills
and fields of autumn leaves,
your form draped in grass
and sunset dapple—
porcelain, delicate beauty,
a work of art, the way I see you
Ash Dec 2022
How many times
have I stood on this precipice
and turned away?

---

I think I'll give myself to the open sea
Throw my arms out wide, breathe
I haven't lived in so long
Ash Aug 2023
like catching a falling knife together
double-edged, our blood on each other’s hands
Ash 3d
that “star cross’d lovers” must be true
your radiance to my pale and blue
heavy on my heart, your golden hue
in sunsets i pray my honor to
Ash Jul 2023
i am an unwilling passenger
upon the vessel of time
Ash Oct 4
The bed only knows the weight
That leaves it for, unknowingly, the last time;
The warmth no longer pressed to its quilt,
The down that will never sink again
This came to my mind at around 3:00 AM last night, the perspective of the bed. It was built and made to serve us at our most restless, our most vulnerable, but we don’t often lend it the kindness to tell it why someone leaves. Does it know? Or does it wallow thinking it has wronged us in some way?
Ash Apr 27
the shadow of that dagger
still hovers behind me
waiting, aiming to strike
Ash Dec 2023
oh, to be kissed
as the sun does this laquer skin
to breathe and be beautiful
effortlessly.
Ash Jan 2022
one, two, three, or more
and then it's dark
bones taking root on the floor
then, a spark—
a little flicker, just enough
then bound in starlight

things are rough
but I'm gonna be alright
Ash Sep 2023
they wove me of delicate thread
now years-frayed and blood-stained
and even though my hands are torn
they still pull the needle, pull me back together
Ash Oct 2020
tell me a lie.
tell me I'm beautiful
even if I'm not.

tell me a lie.
tell me you care
even if you don't.

tell me a lie.
tell me they chiseled the world in gold
even if it was stone for us.

tell me a lie.
tell me everything's fine
even if the world is burning down.
good morning
Ash Jun 2023
for once, I have known peace
and it has known me.
Ash Feb 2
there is no greater love
than one that transpires despite adversity—
one that stands tall and sturdy as the oak,
unmoved by any wind that dares to face it
Ash Feb 13
my heartstrings were woven delicately,
soft and sweet, every pluck and tug
dedicated to some passion, conviction,
and the last, to soul-crushing devotion
Ash Nov 2023
our eyes meet
and in that one moment
time seems to crystallize
every movement fractal
every last piece of me

falling
       into
  place

but I blink
and your memory fades
fast as it was dreamt of
Ash Sep 18
and while I claim to be free
to soar over these fairytale castles
into bigger dreams, better things
some part of me still dwells here
and begs—would you still have me?
Ash Jun 2023
tapestries woven of the stars
fading into our dappled sunrise
there, your wings carry me softly—
to be my dove, or my icarus?
Ash Apr 5
Smoke, ember, and ash—
remnants of flame,
memories, imprints of a taste so sweet,
of heart, bridge, and stake set alight,
drifting on the wind,
coming to rest in my open palms
Ash Sep 2023
here, all the trees are evergreen
steady amidst the bone-deep chill
for only they can pierce the sky
and root so deeply to be unmoved

oh, our beautiful iron maiden

where the gilded spikes stand tall,
steady amidst the suffering
for only they can pierce our hearts
and be unmoved by the screams
Ash Jul 2020
We bear the scars of fires

long burned out

And pray to ignite our own

to cast revenge upon the first
long time no see
Ash Nov 6
tonight, i pull my blanket up to my chin
unsure if it is to comfort or suffocate
whether i slumber for good, or to wake
in a world most unfamiliar
Ash Feb 5
Those delicate eyes
catch the light, glinting
'cross this fickle sword,
my evasive desire
Ash Feb 8
An arrow pinched
Between delicate fingers,
Gently nocked, but aiming true,
Pulled taut against the bowstring.

It sings through the air,
Harmonious, but decisive,
And it strikes silently,
Knowing only one destination.

...And so begins Cupid's hunting season.
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