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 Jun 2018 Rayen
Grand Piano
Steps
 Jun 2018 Rayen
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
 Jun 2018 Rayen
Ally Gottesman
Star.
 Jun 2018 Rayen
Ally Gottesman
When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Under a spotlight where everyone knew my name...
I was five.

Now, I want shadows and to be as far away as possible.
Hidden and far from consequence,
And even further from myself.
Where my name is not a name,
But just another word without any true meaning.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Now, I want to disappear.

I should have jumped overboard when I had the chance.
 May 2018 Rayen
Semicolon
Daisies
 May 2018 Rayen
Semicolon
DAISIES

Will you walk through the daisies with me,

while the moonlight wraps us

in a cold huddle,

making us feel at home?

We can walk barefoot

through the flowers,

while the grass tickles our toes.

We can lay down

and look up at the sky,

while humming your

favourite song.

I can pluck the stars

and sew them into your hair.

I can make you a tiara

out of all the wishes

which the shooting stars carry.

I can lasso the moon

and fix her into your eyes.

I can capture the hush of the night,

and place it in your smile.

We can talk about nothing,

yet everything.

We can be alone

with each other.

We can get lost.

Will you walk through the daisies with me?
Give me your hand, and we can run down the fields, love each other more than the daisies.
 May 2018 Rayen
Forgotten Pages
I love you in moments unnoticed
In the spaces between words
Eyes looking upward in thought
In the breaths between stories

I love you in places unknown
In the cracks on the floorboards
Tucked away in corners of the attic
In the shutters on the windowsill

I love you in time undiscovered
In memories lying dormant
Craving to awaken
In the heartbeat of life

Where others love in shouts, I love in whispers
that only we can feel
Face to face
Eye to eye
And in loving you
By sun and moon
My love grows louder by color
 Apr 2018 Rayen
Forgotten Pages
Is there meaning in the madness?
The careless moments strung together like broken Christmas lights inside a cave
The moments that ***** your fingers and draw unwelcome blood
The madness that you rage against inside your chest

Most days, yes
I say as a soliloquy, sipping my tea and watching the passing storm clouds
My eyes are wet but my heart has dried
Opened up and beating forth.
But today, I don’t think so
I can’t bring myself to say yes
For I am emblazoned in a firestorm
All consuming
There is only hurt –
And doubt –
And loss –
And isolation –
My eyes are no longer stinging
They are burning
Almost bleeding
Today I can’t blink away the shadows

This madness is finding me
Entwining me
And, at times, defining me
As I remain motionless trapped in the endless webs
Searching through crowds of strangers to find myself
And turning up empty every time.
 Apr 2018 Rayen
Forgotten Pages
I am empty
I said
In not so many words
The veiled confessions dripping off his ears like candle wax
As the wick burns down
Filling the room with a palpable smokiness
That only I can sense

I am choking
I am crawling
I can feel my light fading

For I am a teacup
Sitting on a shelf
Dusty but decorated
My handle pointed towards the wall
Breakable
And uninspired

How I long to be filled with more than emptiness
To have him pour all of his being into my heart and mind
To have him look into my eyes and see more than himself
But each confession only serves to deepen the loneliness
As a search for a soul to listen through the words
 Apr 2018 Rayen
Forgotten Pages
A moment suspended
Crystallized like morning dew
Trapped prisms of moonbeams in spherical orbit
Ever swirling in hopeful anticipation
New dreams precipitated
Old dreams awakened
All suspended in a perfect spherical moment
Hovering above trembling hands and shining eyes
In simplified complexity
 Apr 2018 Rayen
Forgotten Pages
I scribbled some words on the edge of a napkin
Hoping at home they would make sense to read
But all I could see was disjointed confusion
And perhaps that was all that I ever could need
 Apr 2018 Rayen
Forgotten Pages
Light the stars tonight with me
Oh - light the stars tonight
And we shall lay another day
In moonbeams of the night

And when the sky is cloudy
And our eyes too fogged to see
We will know that in the glow
Is all that we can be

For we view ourselves in darkness
Broken pieces of a whole
But truer yet, lest you forget
There’s stardust in your soul
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