I don't remember the last time of real heartbreak.
I remember losing loyalty, losing interest.
Things don't always work, or resentment's mistake.
But I can't remember when I ever felt shattered
From the mere idea of living without someone.
Like my entire being tattered, pieces in the wind scattered.
Like some whole void of emptiness;
Everything gouged out of me like it never even mattered.
I remember being abandoned.
I remember being alone.
But I can't remember feeling like my life left too,
Like it was never even my own.
I guess I wanted it to be ours instead.
I guess I wanted too much.
I guess there was no "destiny's red thread."
I wish I didn't still yearn for your touch.
I don't know what to do with a life without you.
I was told I had so much ahead,
But from where I am, I can hardly move.
How long would it take to forget?
Is that even something on which I can bet?
I don't think I've ever felt real love for someone
So selflessly, so hopefully,
Like I did this less year.
How long will it take to live a life without you
When I'm surrounded by distraught and fear?
You were the water to my flowers,
You were the northern star in my nights,
You were the fire in my engine.
But now it's dark and you're nowhere in sight.
What is a life worth if not for love?
In which direction do I go?
This fever wears me, my mourning dove.
But I will make it through the night,
If only to anticipate
A notification's gentle light.
Hastily written, but what does it matter anymore.