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Oct 2018 · 1.3k
Wander
Iska Oct 2018
When I was younger I used to think
that when a falling star crashes into the earth,
it shattered into stardust
and from there grows a forest.
Oct 2018 · 1.4k
Poor Poets
Iska Oct 2018
genius comes in fragments
poetry comes in slivers of sentences
open to all
yet mastered by none
merely mortals weaving a web
a web of words
of truths and lies
of things made plain
and things we hide
and as we navigate this artful web
we realize just how much we are out of our depth
Oct 2018 · 597
Writers Block
Iska Oct 2018
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I
CANT
THINK
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Oct 2018 · 141
Life
Iska Oct 2018
what a **** show
Oct 2018 · 2.2k
My little Always
Iska Oct 2018
I always bother you
though I never try.
I hate the tears
but I cant keep from the cry.
you are everywhere I can never find
everywhere
but by my side
and its pathetic,
I  know it is

and yet...
I cant keep the panic at bay

and still....
anxiety steals my words before i can say

i m i s s y o u

i l o v e y o u

w i l l y o u s t i l l r e t u r n

w i l l i e v e r l e a r n

w i l l y o u l o v e m e i f i d o
    
w i l l y o u l o v e m e i f i d o n o t
to
                    the bird
                                                    who flew
                                                                               away
Oct 2018 · 224
the ignorance that is us
Iska Oct 2018
The universe has a language we've forgotten,
one spoken by all the earth.
and in our haste to create our own "beauty"
we've forgotten how much it was worth.
and once we noticed the absence
we attempted to fill up the hole.
we replaced the feeling
of freedom and soul
with words like money and fool.
yet as we forgot the language,
the world around us did not
and cried for us and our ignorance
as they watched us cut the world up.

into little bite sized pieces,
trying to fill up our cup,
guess we didn't know,
it was still empty
from all that we've given up.
Sep 2018 · 1.6k
SunDrop
Iska Sep 2018
You asked me why I love you
And here’s a couple of reasons why:

You hold me like you can feel the
World, twirling on its axis
And if you let go we will both start spinning in an unending dance
And as we drift and glide among the stars we will slip and slid in the affections of the heart.
So instead you hold me
And I hold you, as if I never want to let you go, because while the stars are breathtaking, they lack the warmth of home. And while the dance is dizzying it’s hard to breathe without you.

Your eyes.
I could go on for days about your eyes. They entice me in their depths. The way the sunlight hits them in a wave of golden sparkles and then, you smile and I feel like i have a sunset for blood and a stardust heart. The way they light up as you behold the world.
The way your pupils dialate when they behold me. As if I am a star bright enough to burn away the world until it is just a breath, and a blur of color between our heart beats.

Your voice.
The way it rises and falls with the crisendo of your emotions. The way your breathing breaks up the beat of a steady sentence. The way it caresses my name like the breeze caresses a lilac blossom on a spring morn. The way it lulls me into a dreamy trance from which I have no desire to escape.

Your heart.
The way it’s song shifts, and tempo picks up, just a bit as I run my fingers over the smooth surface of your skin. The comforting rhythm beneath my ear as we match breathing before falling into dreams grasp. The way your heart strings tug and tangle when you fall in front of someone in need. How it pangs for those who have more misfortune then you. The way it’s song floats around me like wishes on the wind and tangled with my own until my own beat seems infinitely more beautiful and alien at the same time.

I have this irrational fear
That you will leave me
To chase after a brighter star.
And I don’t know how to react
But I do know, that if you did..
        I would let you.
And every night I would look up at the moon and we would agree
that you and the sun are alike.
Both so pretty and both just out of reach. And I would find solace amoung the moonbeams as I watch you spin dazzlingly amoung the sun as you dance between the stars.
Sep 2018 · 4.2k
Sunshine.
Iska Sep 2018
You think that you are ugly.
But my darling,
how could you  possibly know?
You can’t see what I see,
still,
how could these opinions possibly grow?
you knock the breath right out of me.
with the way the sunlight hits your eyes
And I think my heart just flutters inside.
The way you tilt your head as you laugh
and when i'm with you,
I can never tell if only seconds or infinities have past
The way your ears turn pink when embarrassed
The way you spin in that pretty pink dress
The way you hold me in your arms
And smile
As you call me your love.

And I

Can’t help

But melt
Sep 2018 · 372
Pain-ters
Iska Sep 2018
Scattered words
Broken frame
Was once a lovely picture
Now just faded paint.
Aug 2018 · 3.0k
Night sky
Iska Aug 2018
City lights
Blot out starry nights
Burning so bright
We’ve lost our sight...
Aug 2018 · 299
Change
Iska Aug 2018
My darling,
Before you set out to change the world,
Remember
The world will change you as well.
Aug 2018 · 1.4k
Bubble
Iska Aug 2018
I feel like we lived in a bubble
All safe warm and secure
And now the bubble has popped
And we have lost the safety for sure
Aug 2018 · 236
Stars
Iska Aug 2018
Stars look like some one spilled a cluster of polished stones and it’s scattered all across the sky
And they’ve been there ever since stuck billowing fabric of time
Aug 2018 · 193
Midnight thoughts
Iska Aug 2018
I can feel you slipping
Your spiraling away
I am gasping for breath
At a loss of what to say.
Aug 2018 · 374
What if?
Iska Aug 2018
What do you think would happen
If I decided I no longer care?
Not for the smile I show
Nor for my need of air?
My pearly whites line in a row
And the pain inside slowly starts to show..
Aug 2018 · 168
Dust
Iska Aug 2018
Scattered memories float past my fingertips collecting like dust upon the stars.
Aug 2018 · 286
Morning sadness
Iska Aug 2018
I wake in the morning
And the world is still
Like it took a breath
And has yet to let it go

And then I realize why.
Because every morning
I wake and remember
That you are gone.

And I have to
come to terms,
with losing you..
All over again.

And that hurts.
Everyone seems hell bent
on leaving me all on my own
Aug 2018 · 2.5k
Ace
Iska Aug 2018
Ace
Every day the cards were played
Everyday you lost
I won.
Every day you’d come back
With declarations of future success,
And when proved false you’d smile,
All lopsided and sheepish,
With a “next time perhaps”
And now your gone.
And next time won’t come.
I guess I won after all.
You always said
I was a queen of diamonds
But my dear,
You were the Ace of hearts.
To Everett
If there is a place after this life,
I expect to see that lopsided grin
From across the table
May we play cards again
who knows?
I may even let you win...
(Or not)
:’(
Aug 2018 · 983
Heart Space
Iska Aug 2018
You dropped a piece of your heart..
All shattered and black
So I picked it up and added it to my collection
And soon I was covered in shards of broken hearts
Mine and yours
And stories untold
And soon enough the shards splintered my skin
As my own heart broke from within
Aug 2018 · 239
snowfall
Iska Aug 2018
Snow looks like it's striped the world
Striped it down to the bones
And trees are knobbly fingers
Clawing towards the dreary sky
Aug 2018 · 131
Trust
Iska Aug 2018
You fear that I like him..
(And I think it might be true)
You say that you love me...
(But I’m not sure I believe you)
Aug 2018 · 140
She is Me
Iska Aug 2018
Tear drops on her lashes
and sadness in her soul
I wonder what it would take
to remind her to breathe once more
Aug 2018 · 113
Little girl
Iska Aug 2018
I once came across a girl,
sitting at the sea shore.
She had a smile like a dew drop
And eyes like the stars.
Her little heart held back a storm.

I once ran across the girl
sitting in the coffee shop
And I noticed how she’s changed.
Her smile held
oblivion’s mysterious allure
her eyes aglow with mischief.

A women stumbled into me,
From just across the way.
With painful eyes
And icy hands
As she began to say:

“You saw me falling,
You watched me crash,
Why is it that
you always walked past?
You could have helped me
find my light,
but it’s far too late
to save me tonight”

I am sitting on a bench in this lovely little park,
Next to the tree you had carved into with your initials in a heart.
And I am sorry that you found your grave, when you were only offering your heart for me to save.
Aug 2018 · 265
:) wandering thoughts (:
Iska Aug 2018
I have a galaxy hidden beneath my ribcadge
and a hurricane for a heart.
With dreams glittering like stardust.
And that’s what sets me apart.
We are all made of stars and storms,
That, my dear, is how art is formed.
Jul 2018 · 931
Always Tainted.
Iska Jul 2018
His tainted hands
Stained my soul
And created scars
Made invisible
A broken story,
Old as time,
You’ve dreamed to live
As I had longed to die.
Jun 2018 · 622
Stormy Sea
Iska Jun 2018
Free as the wind,
Changeable as the sea,
The beach holds memories,
Of you and me.
Sands that shift
changing our lives
Sunlight glints,
blinding eyes.
Oh free spirit spread your wings
And fly above this stormy sea.
Far as the winds will carry you
To wherever the moonlight leads you
May the blush of dawn bless you
May the fire that burns inside
never flicker or die.
May the stars bare witness
As you chase the horizon
And fly above the clouds,
Over the sea and
To the place where your home may be.
And When you have found your place among the stars
There you shall wait for me.
Kissed by the mornings dawn
Blessed with the fiery sea.
Free spirit spread your wings
And one day return to the beach with me.
For Juliee,
May you never face the stormy sea alone.
Jun 2018 · 391
Indifferent
Iska Jun 2018
Boys or girls,
to the bathroom scale we all look the same.
Muscle or fat
the numbers won’t change.
Pair shaped, square shaped
the mirror will show it all, and the broken soul will count the flaws...
Jun 2018 · 335
Made for sad
Iska Jun 2018
This world is such a beautiful place. So bright and full of wonder. And color....
and I am so devoid of it all. I am the smudge of grey, the bolt of imperfection in this breathtakingly beautiful picture.
And it makes me wonder.. why me? Why can’t I just be.......
Happy?  
I am constantly reaching out, as if attempting to grasp the colors into my hands.. and maybe smear the color across my skin. So that I may feel “happy” again.
And if I’m lucky maybe it’ll stain. Then perhaps I wouldn’t feel so “grey”

So I have come to the conclusion, and this is just a thought, that maybe... I am not made for happy. Perhaps I am made a little for sad. To forever be that smear of grey as I drown in a sea of color, slowly dying from the very thing I wish to be the most.....
May 2018 · 431
Happy...
Iska May 2018
One slips down
Smile lasts a little longer

Two slip down with a gulp
Now I am giddy and feeling stronger.

Three go down one after another
Now I wonder
have you noticed me stutter?

Four go down
And maybe one more...

Five go down with a gurgle
I wonder..
When do I start feeling alive?

Six is a struggle
But it’s worth the trouble

Seven go down
Yet I still drown

Better be eight
And you won’t feel the hate

Then goes nine
To feel this time...

Ten go down
And I start to D R O W N
In giggles and gurgles
In chimes and rhymes
In sad and hate
In numbing pain

Happy pills why do I still feel the same?
May 2018 · 412
A melody Of Melancholy
Iska May 2018
.
.
.
.
.
.
Can you hear it?
This sweet and sorrowful serenade?
This melody of melancholy.






Of course you can’t,
How selfishly presumptuous of me.
To assume you see the solitude I see
Day after day
.
.
.
.
.
.
May 2018 · 732
Throne
Iska May 2018
The thing about pain,
Is it demands to be felt.
And it has formed a circlet
That rests upon my brow
And crowns me queen.
So I will take the pain,
So that none else will have to.
And every wound will shape me
And every scar will build my throne
So as I am here
Sitting on my throne of bones
I will understand that in this,
I am fated to be alone
And find solace in my solitude.
Apr 2018 · 388
Missing you
Iska Apr 2018
I find myself missing you,
Your company and friendship,
All the little things that make you..
Well, you.
Mar 2018 · 5.1k
Unplugged
Iska Mar 2018
We are all so clever,
With our posts and our lies,
And honest comments deleted
To wither and die.
Filters for beauty free of flaws
So we may withstand societies claws.
So we upload
pictures, stories and posts.
I wounder what is it
we long for the most?
To be accepted?
To be seen?
To cause envy?
Or Jealousy?
What is the point?
The whole worlds plugged in,
And we all have hundreds of thousands of “friends”.
yet who is it that
truly cares for us in the end?
Face to face?
What a disgrace!
Letters to send?
This must come to an end!
Written word?
Thats simply absurd!
Memories made?
They still do that these days?!
Now this is a crazy idea..
Just a thought..
But,
What if we all....
Just unplugged?
Not once or twice
And call it a night,
But more like a day?
To spend as you may?
To feel the sun?
To laugh with friends?
And make beautiful memories
to carry with you til the end?
Enjoy the moment of pure bliss,
Without
filters, comments or harsh judgements.
To be yourself
and embrace your life,
Then when your done
You can replug.
And check on all your comments and likes.
And see which was the thing you remember at night.
I get it.
I do it too
But sometimes you need to stop
And just be you.
Mar 2018 · 325
n0t A Pr0pEr PoEm
Iska Mar 2018
What am I even doing anymore?
Depression has dug its claws into
My very core.
They say that I’ll make it,
If only I am strong.
But now I’m starting to wounder
If I’ve been going about it all wrong.
Mar 2018 · 677
StarveStruck
Iska Mar 2018
The mirror seems to stretch and grow, distorting the depiction that it shows.
In his arms I am beautiful,
In her eyes I am a blinding light,
But the mirror proves them all false,
And shows me that I never look quite right.
I try  and I try
But it’s never enough
I laugh and I cry
But I can’t seem to hold onto my bluff
That I am “ok
That there is nothing more to say
That I am alright
That I don’t go down without a fight
When in all truth
Ive fallen apart
All skin and bones
With a frail heart
Can you see me breaking?
Can you hear me shaking?
Isn’t it breathtaking?!
The sight of me placating
This morbid mirror
All cracked and shattered
Depicting all that I fear
But please believe me
And my fake bluff
So that I may fool myself
Into beliveing that I am enough.
Mar 2018 · 379
The pain of the living
Iska Mar 2018
I amBOLD
I am STRONG
I am HAPPY
Nothing is WRONG

I am BEAUTIFUL
I am GLASS
I am RESILIENT
I live through the CRACKS

I am splinterig
I’m Falling apart
I am shattering
My splintered old heart

I am faint
I am frail
Am I even here?
Who can tell?

I am a flicker
A faint blur
Is this pain worth it?
I’m no longer so sure
Feb 2018 · 436
Effortless friendship
Iska Feb 2018
Misplaced smiles, awkward laughs,
The silence stretches on for miles.
Wandering eyes, shuffling feet,
Something's missing, incomplete.
What happened to the brighter days?
When hours seemed to slip away?
Now the seconds are more like years,
And minutes seem like eons of fears.
I miss you dearly, this I know,
But I wounder if it's you I miss,
Or something I created, romanticized,
Either way, it seems so faded,
What happened to the friendship we so effortlessly created?
Feb 2018 · 10.6k
Bloody Rose
Iska Feb 2018
'Why is it so painful to grow?'

A seed.
Just a seed buried under the ground.
Under the pressure of the soil,
It fights to grow.

The seed cracks,
such a sturdy little seed,
opens with a painful snap.

A sprout coils out.
Out of the cracked little seed.
A sprout now crushed under,
Under the pressure of the unforgiving ground.

Yet still... It grows.

A little sprout,
Now reaches up.
Up and away from the little seed,
and up to the light of the sun.

Pushing and groaning it bursts out.
Out from the unforgiving ground.
Yet now new dangers are to be found.

Will it be trampled
Or eaten alive?
The possibilities are endless,
The ways it could die.

And still.. it grows.

The sprout toils endlessly,
always stretching and growing
Reaching for the crimson sun.

The rain falls down
beating upon the sprout.
Pelting it's skin and whipping it about.
It skin hardens painfully,
and sprout becomes stem.

And still It grows.
The stem keeps reaching,
Stretching to the sky.

The stem then splits
It rips in two a bud appears
A little bud,
With so much to do.

Then the bud breaks
A crack appears
a petal unfurls from within.

Then it's a bloom.
Such a sweet little thing.
Until the crack stretches
So the bloom can grow
In to the beautiful rose
We've all come to know.

And still.. it grows.

Thorns burst free
Breaking out of the stem
And petals billow and grow in the breeze.

Then you see me,
And my beauty delights you,
So you wish to see me every day.
And your scissors encircle me
To give you your way.

They cut me in half.
They slice me in two.
being a rose,
There was naught I could do.

You carry me with you,
Your hands coated in my blood,
I'm dying slowly,
All for your love.

And now... I can't grow.

So as I bleed and wither in pain,
You place me in a vase
Or press me in a book,
All to save the bloom for another day.

And as I gasp for air,
Among your dry pages,
You leech me of all life,
Perfectly preserved
just so I could last the ages.

Or else I am drowning
In glass and water
My beauty wasted
hour by hour
Day by day
All to satisfy your whimsical ways.

And now all I wish to know,
'Why is it so painful to grow?'
Feb 2018 · 535
Eyes That Lie
Iska Feb 2018
A chance encounter,
from cross the way.
If you had spoken,
what would you say?

My eyes darted to yours,
Though they were disguised,
I thought for sure what they saw
was a lie.

Should I have smiled?
Should I have cried?
Instead I looked on,
For I couldn't decide.

Could you read the words
that I can't find?
Read them in my sunlit eyes?

Does distance and time
obscure your sight?
Or is it that I didn't
say the words quite right?

Should I have yelled?
Should I have screamed?
I couldn't tell,
For nothing is as it seems.

My heart beat faster
what is it I feared?
I continued to walk
as if nothing was amiss
But my mind wasn't clear.

I know it's not fair,
To ask who your with
But I can't help but wounder
Was I so easily replaced?

You seemed so happy,
So bright and alive.
To take that away..
Is not my place to decide.

Should I have kept walking?
Should I never have looked?
But I couldn't help it.

She was quite pretty,
Your new little friend
And I'm glad that your happy.

Because we were only just friends.
Yes.
Not star-crossed lovers
But the best of friends.

But that doesn't stop me
from missing you,
It doesn't make me not want to cry,
It can't hold back
the dread of replacement,
Or the jealousy at
the spark in your eyes.

I used to make you laugh like that,
It was my job to make you grin
I held the title best friend
With pride,
Is it hers now to win?

We all speak of lovers
And hearts that won't repair.
Yet when it comes to
the parting of friends,
I doubt it could compare.

The timeless days
that slipped away.
The giddy grins
And thoughtless things
That make up a
flawlessly flawed friend
Is what we miss dearly in the end.
It's not just breakups that cause us to break
Feb 2018 · 2.4k
Beaten Old Shoes
Iska Feb 2018
although age in and of itself
does not declare experience
or the depth of knowledge one has gained
and in my opinion is silly for anyone
to think otherwise
I'm always told
"your so wise for one so young."
Or
"oh I remember what it was like to be 19
and think you know the world."
Yet what they refuse to acknowledge
is that in 19 short years,
I may have experienced both
horrors and beauty
that they have yet to dream let alone see.
Who is to say that age is a boundary of the mind?
That inexperience creates an age divide?
Who are they to claim that we would be consumed
when they have yet to wander in our beaten old shoes?
Who are they to judge me of a story
they have yet to hear?
All becuse they refuse to lend an ear?
Feb 2018 · 39.0k
Candy Grin
Iska Feb 2018
The false crisendo of your words
Grate against my every nerves.
Wandering round
With ****** feet
How many expectations
Have I failed to meet?

What more do you want
Of my sorry soul
When I cannot bring
My self to breath anymore?

So I watch your hopes
all tumbling down
It feels quite cold
Down here in the ground.
I'm sorry that I wasn't enough
I tried to be what you asked of me
But I didnt think it'd be So tough.

My weary bones creak and ache,
My wrist all burned and ******,
Can you not be quite just once for my sake?

I understand the gravity.
I know Im failing at life,
But you dig right in,
spreading the cavity,
How to ignore the strife?

Whispered arguments bleed through the walls
How much longer until we fall?
Through the floor straight down to hell
All because I could not tell.

Should I weep in pain,
And slave away,
To satisfy you're whimsical ways?
Should I sell my soul,
And bite my tongue,
Just to keep the wallet full?
But "your so young,
You've no excuse,
So bend your back,
Put those hands to use."

Welcome to life.
Put away your pain,
No time for strife,
No time for play,
Just nod you head,
Exit the stage,
And get a job,
So you'll be payed.

I'd sooner live a poor church mouse,
Then lose myself in persute of a house.
But no, I'll smile my candy grin,
And talk with sugar sweet.
Hide the weight of the pain,
So your expectations, I'll meet.
Some times it's just not enough.
Jan 2018 · 6.7k
Silent Words.
Iska Jan 2018
"Whats wrong"
                       I can't tell, is the water on my face rain or tears?
                           I can't say it out loud! Please read it in my eyes....

"Can you just not be so **** sad for once?"
                          The wind claws at everything, a welcome pain.
               I'm trying! Can't you see the effort? Oh stars, it HURTS!

"You can talk to me..."
                             I look away, I cannot bare the pain in your eyes.
                           Oh darling I know, I want to but... I can't.

"Talk **** it."
                            Your eyes are hard now, your angry with me, please don't be mad.
                        Don't you see? My voice betrayed me!

"You know, you make it hard to love you sometimes."
                              The song playing is fitting "I'm searching for something that I can't reach."
                               Your words are cutting me. Stripping me to the core, please for the love of God, don't say you can't love me anymore...
Kurtis,
There are times when one simply cannot bare to speak
Yet in their silence is the screaming you can't bare to hear.
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