oh my stars: Poems

Waiting

oh my stars Sep 2015

Waiting

You litter my soul with your lonely heart
But each time I fall for you, you tear me apart.
Yet still I praise and compliment and smile
Pretending that I am able to wait for a while.
But how long until you are ready?
It doesn't matter-
I'll wait forever.

You keep doing this to me and I am pathetic enough to keep hoping.

#love #relationship #unrequited

Waiting For Good Luck

oh my stars Jun 2015

Waiting For Good Luck

I stand waiting for a bus.
Two women are next to me,
They're dreaming of good luck.
One asks the other
"Do you think it'll ever be?
Do you think I'll ever be happy?
Now that she's left me?"
A sister, a mother, a lover?
Who's to know.
But the pain in her voice is raw-
She can't have left long ago.
The wind causes my hair to spiral
And I flatten it in haste.
But the women don't seem to care-
No they don't want to waste
Any energy on themselves.
The other talks of her child:
A girl of almost three.
She speaks with such love,
Such joy but such woe:
She is worried her father will take her
Away from her home.
The bus pulls up and I mount it-
To me it's just a bus,
But to them its wonderful wheels,
Will take them to good luck.

To the two women next to me at the bus stop: I hope you both find your good luck!

#pain #humanity #pity #suffering #bus #travel

Watery Love

oh my stars May 2015

Watery Love

Love is like water:
Necessary. We can't live without it.
It seeps through even the smallest of spaces,
Unaffected by darkness and emotion, withstanding all else.
It has been here since the beginning and will be here until the end.
When all else fails there is always water,
There is always love.

Love is like water,
And I'm dehydrated.

#love #desperate #need #nature #eternal #water #necessary

Welcome

oh my stars May 2015

Welcome

Welcome to the lives that we once left behind.
Bask in our self-hatred and misery.
God knows, no-one else will.
We won't.

Somewhere faraway is a girl who was once me.
She'll smile and she'll laugh
Because she doesn't know what is to come,
She doesn't know she will be me.

Innocence became pain,
Love became hate,
And life was insignificant.
Our hope was

Flattened out until the edge of doom.
And we followed this doom.
Up,
Down,
Left,
Right,
We followed.

No more does beauty linger here-
It is lost.
Just like everything else,
Just like us.

#pain #lost #beauty #help #suffering #follow #place #welcome #linger

Welcome to the world

oh my stars May 2017

Welcome to the world

In the arms of your mother you blink into the sunshine.
And her eyes glisten with the love she never imagined.
You've been a long time coming, little one.
She has waited for you for decades,
A timeless twinkle in her smile.
And she has suffered.
So much.
But looking into your eyes
She knows it's been worth it.
You were worth her pain.
You are all the love she has ever felt.
And all the love she never knew she had.
You have completed her.
And you will never know how much you mean to her
And how much she prayed for you.
How much we all prayed for you.
But you will always know how loved you are.

Welcome to the world, little one.
You're going to love it.

Welcome to the world Matthew James Alexander <3 03/05/17

#baby #love #mother #mum #mummy #son #child #relationship #family #welcome #to #the #world #little #one

What If I Do Love You?

oh my stars May 2015

What If I Do Love You?

What if I do love you?
And it's not just 'love'.
But uttering the words is impossible
Because letting you into my heart is
Terrifying.
I have put the barrier up,
The barrier that only allows 'love' not love.
It twists my emotion into a word I do not wish to say,
The same word but a different meaning.
You say I love you
And I reply with 'I love you too'.
I want to mean more but
The fear stops me-
It manipulates
Everything I stand for.
'I love you' hurts you
but
I love you hurts me.
Teach me how to say it,
Tell me to be brave.

In reply to 'But do you *love* me?'

#love #fear #desire #beauty #requited

what is love?

oh my stars Dec 2015

what is love?

smudged lipstick,
exchanged clothes,
eternal smiles,
constant messages,
love heart emojis,
paper flowers,
daisy chains,
borrowed books,
movie marathons,
midnight phone calls,
whispered 'i love you's,
shared secrets,
love songs on repeat,
duets to the smiths,
surprise cuddles,
never-ending happiness,
an absence of loneliness.

thank you for showing me what love is

#love #happy #beautiful #relationship

What it is to suffer

oh my stars May 2017

What it is to suffer

You will never understand
What it feels like
To lie in bed at night
Not being to think about anything
Apart from the pair of scissors on your desk
Just three metres away.
You will never understand
What it feels like
To be kept alive by one person.
To completely rely on their love
And their very being.
And you will never understand
What it's like to hurt that someone
So much
Because you don't realise you are
Hanging onto the cracks in their foundations.
You are ripping them apart
And you're so self-consumed that
You don't notice them crumbling
Beneath your touch.
You will never know what it's like
To love life with such a passion
That your missed opportunities
Threaten to **** you.
You will never understand
How it is both a blessing a curse
To feel every emotion so deeply.
So purely.
To feel anger pumping through your bloodstream
To feel sadness dragging you to the bottom
To feel joy lifting you of the ground
And excitement bursting through you
Like sunbeams breaking through clouds.
You will never understand
How hard the simplest things are.
How contributing in class makes you sweat.
How him being late sends your heart into anaphylactic shock.
How leaving the house is enough to trigger a panic attack.
You will never understand
The difficulty of loving someone who doesn't notice you.
Because, believe me, no matter how long you live with it,
You will never get used to everyone meaning the world to you,
And you nothing to them.
You will never understand
How challenging it is to exist,
How hard it is to hold on to life.

You will never understand.
And I am so glad you won't.

#alone #suffer #suffering #sad #love #happy #emotion #life #relationship #understand #never

when was the last time?

oh my stars Sep 2015

when was the last time?

when was the last time
you felt someone else's warmth?
the closeness of someone's heartbeat
right next to yours?
when were you last held
by someone who cares so much?
how long since someone told you
that they love all of you?
whispered it in your ear
whilst caressing your hair?
when did you last feel
loved?
wanted?
special?
has it been so long that you
can't remember
the hope and the happiness
wrapped in someone's arms?
when was the last time you smiled
thinking of someone?
have you forgotten what it is to be loved?

i am so lonely

i have just realised that i haven't so much as hugged anyone in months.

#love #sad #lonely #need #alone #isolated

Will You Join Me?

oh my stars May 2015

Will You Join Me?

I am walking,
Will you join me?
We can run and laugh under the sun
As we lose ourselves.

I won't bring a map.
We will find our own way
Through the meandering rivers of time.
Maybe we'll lost along the way.

I can never truly be lost,
Not when I'm with you.
You are an exquisitely bright star
Guiding me, always.

We will chase one another
And fall into the velvet grass.
We will lie together,
Finding shapes among the clouds.

At dusk we will talk
Until dawn.
And then gaze, eyes wide in wonder
At the beauties of the world.

When we tire,
We will find the strength in one another to continue.
If you are with me I won't surrender
To the tribulations of adventure.

So will you join me?
As I walk back to happiness.

I can't do it without you <3

#desperate #need #adventure #happiness #journey #travel #recovery #walk

With You

oh my stars May 2015

With You

with you I escape
from everything that once was
away from this life

#life #haiku #escape #help #together #save

writing poetry with her

oh my stars Aug 2015

writing poetry with her

You said that you loved me.
But how can that be?
When so soon after you are
Writing poetry with her?
You never used to let me write your poems-
I wasn't even allowed to read them.
And you refused to read mine.
So how could you have possibly loved me?
You never did.
And again I am a fool.

i can't believe that i thought you loved me

#love #poetry #relationship #jealous

you are still wonderful

oh my stars Nov 2015

you are still wonderful

just because i no longer kiss the universe that is in your heart
it doesn't mean that it's not there any more.

just because i now see stars within the depths of his eyes
it doesn't mean that yours aren't still full of them.

just because i do not touch your skin any more
it doesn't mean you don't still feel like the solar system.

just because i no longer love you
it doesn't mean that you are any less brilliant.

you are still wonderful.

do not value my feelings for you above your personality

#love #broken #relationship #always

Your name

oh my stars Apr 2020

Your name

They say your name and my whole body pulses.
My sleeping breath is filled with thoughts of your ambiguity.
It is not clear to me what you are.
You are more than a human, more than a being.
You emit a radiance that stops everything from existing.
The world is you.
You are the world.

First time writing in a while. Feeling a bit rusty

— The End —