she had always said
her favorite color was yellow
for the girl with buttery skin and crystal eyes
it seemed rather fitting
yellow was the color of sunshine
and the color of her hair
after it had been bleached by summer
it was the color of the bumblebees
that drank from her favorite flowers
flowers that now
line her grave

she told you
her favorite color was yellow
because she knew you needed someone
radiant with light
to ease the depth
of your own darkness
so she said
when autumn arrived
you could watch the ground
become littered with yellow leaves
together

when you asked what color
lie beneath her skin
she told you it was yellow
she made herself believe
her body was freckled from stardust
and not from the amber glow
of cigarette burns
she still said
her favorite color was yellow
so she could continue being the light
in your colorless world

soon enough
your favorite color was yellow too
but not for the same reasons
she fell in love with it
you only saw yellow vaguely
in the form of teeth
stained from tobacco and too much coffee
smiling grimly through cracked lips
dripping poisoned honey
you guilded the word ¨love¨
with muted ochre lies

and now
she no longer feels the warmth
that once emanated
from her favorite color
she no longer tastes
the sweetness of butterscotch
and papaya on your lips
for you left her with nothing but
the sour residue of lemons and bile
as your gentle breath
extinguished her golden flames
and reduced her heart to ash

and now
she realizes that bumblebees
can also administer a piercing sting
and as she watches the sunset
with its amber hues
she no longer sees
the color yellow


x.

let me tell you about the sunshine girl
cloaked in copious shades of yellow
radiating kindness and hope
from every atom of her being
a single girl who is brighter than the universe in its whole
she has a heart filled with celestial beauty
and hands that carry galaxies
always found on her rooftop
admiring the moon and her stars
or
van gogh's sunflowers
loving that he and she alike
swallowed yellow paint in search for happiness
using the brightness of yellow
to escape the darkness of their minds for awhile
and while you think she's just admiring
the moon
poetry
and paintings
deeply thinking
or daydreaming
she's really waiting for a shooting star
to hear her wish
and take her far, far away from here

dark
in
light

long long
time
in
light

yellow yellow
dark
in
light

my face
my eyes
in
light

in
dark


06.01.18

Yellow         stands    
                   for     happiness         yellow    stands         for  
                                                             the          sun         yellow        is          a        happy        
              color            perfect           for        depressed      
                                                                                         teens       who        have           to       act  
    like nothing         is        wrong          to        avoid  
                                      sounding             like       the         biggest    
                                                                                     cliché         depressed             teens             love       to      
                                     tell      people        how     much       they  
       care       about         things        
                                                                                       there     stands          for        happiness    
                                             almost         as       much            as    
                  they           love         to        tell      
                                                                                                       people       they         are           okay  
                                                                                           even              though           they              are        in         pain

She was beautiful
She reminded me of the sun
I knew she always were near
Even though the clouds
had taken over the sky
she shined brighter than
a million stars combined
she always stayed positive
she told me this
“when it’s raining, don’t be upset
but take your rainboots on,
and dance till it stops,
when there is thunder,
don’t be scared, don’t hide
but instead find a safe spot
and admire the beautiful lightning
when it’s windy outside,
don’t be irritated,
find your dragon
and see it fly through the clouds”
she wasn’t afraid of being herself
she did what she wanted to do
she did wear the most colorful clothes
and she loved when people stopped
and looked at her like she was crazy
because she knew
what she was doing
and she knew
what they were missing out on
she wasn’t living her life,
she was alive.
Her favorite color was yellow.

You have the smell of feeling something,
but the touch of regret.

Warm hands,
but a cold heart

You're like yellow,
a representation of happiness and sickness.

A bird,

flies,

over lands and seas.

Freely feeling the cold air brushing through its wings.

A red bird it was,

who changed colors,

yellow when happy,

blue when sad,

green when excited,

red when in danger.

The bird was flying away from another bird.

Who was much bigger and stronger,

its colors were black,

and black meant,

a terrible thing,

that no one, not even a bird,

would like to know,

it,

was,

death chasing life.