Three years ago today, the moment he walked through the door, it wasn't deja vu, it was a memory of a fantasy I played out in my mind hundreds of times as a little girl, as a teenager, as a woman, finally catching up in real time - a fantasy of a man I would meet someday who would be all I could ever desire in a lover, friend, and husband.

Three years ago today, the moment he walked through the door, standing 6' 14", I recognized him immediately as the nameless, faceless man I imagined for years and I finally felt alive! authentic! electric!

Three years ago today, the moment he walked through the door, I fell irrevocably in love and I never want to put myself back together again.

1 represents my existence on planet earth
A good 9 years of innocence childhood fire
9 more to exhibit my love to the girl who lift my heart higher
Here is 8 years to begin a new path

I may be gone,
But you are not alone,
I am there for you
Me and you.
I travel in light years,
I have supersonic ears,
My senses more alert,
I can feel the beat of your heart.
I hear you,
I see you,
I feel you.
Look for me in the clouds,moon and stars,
See me twinkle for you from afar.
When I see you in tears,
I too, rain my dear.
I may be beyond your touch,
But,I am near you as much.

War war No one likes war
The mud the rats the food is raw
The whistle will go then over the top
Through the guns through the wire
Then in to the trenches to disappear
The mud will not let all go through
Some will cry out and down they will go
Oh god why is war so
Or will one day children play in street
Like heaven and not like today
Or will man fight on till there is no one left
A gun cracks out and down I go
Oh god may I be the last to die this way.

to be on a swing
with you together
after so much
after some time
to be on a swing
with you together
after so many
for so many years
to be with you
to be on a swing
and when it snows
when it snows
and when the sun
like a flute
to be with you
swim the world
swim the world
sail on ice
on this fire
only together
to be on a swing
only together
by lantern light

29.10.18

Bubble in the sky
Whispers billowy
Hello’s
And then vanishes
Leaving me wondering

Like a question unanswered
You are out there
My creme filled doughnut of love
You taunt me
I meet you
In bars
You are witty
You speak of Hemingway and heroism
And wine filled coffee houses that would be great to muse
In
Then you leave with your girlfriend
Who confessed to me she doesn’t love you
As I twist the cap on her beer open
And wish it was laced with some sort of truth poison

You
You are out there
I don’t expect you to ride up on a white horse
Perhaps just have a good conversation
Because Hello dear isn’t exactly enticing
Or drawing me in
In this algorithm, online dating world

You, you are out there
I have to believe it,
Somewhere In this jaded heart filled boxed of mine
I release the edges of hate
That have filled the corners of what was my yesteryear's
Long I ago I would have been what was considered Old Maid fate
I know there is just a glimpse of golden
Amongst all this shaded grey

You, you are out there
Each year that goes by
You become more hazy
I have to wipe the windows
Inside me
To trust you are there

You, you are out there
You have changed from muscle man hero
To creative, inspiring, accepting, adventurous lover

You, you are out there
Able to handle this non laid back lady
Able to see beyond just ripping off clothes
And slapping my ***

You, you are out there
Sometimes your to long winded
But Still not jaded
Able to take my hand
And hold it
In the wind blown turmoil of what I have been

You , you are out there
Weathered words, that hold pages
Of information
You spill out onto my soul
And make me want to dive in

You, you are going to be a part of this story
We will tell it
Like the alchemist
Who sought to chase the wind
You
You are the ending
So Let the beginning
Begin

by Arcassin Burnham

Sorry if I'm a little hard spoken on this poem,
But the ******* that i put up with for so many years got me
Clinching my fists and releasing my hate on the tree in the
Backyard where all the weights are, no point to recharge,
No point To be on guard,
**** this life and the people that tried to end mine,
Picking on my mental illness,
I can see the end around the corner.
Is it a crime to want to live in peace, no there no peace nowhere,
They say God doesn't put you through something you can not beat,
And while I'm torn between the fake and reality , I can not be.