I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
And opened myself up to shame,
I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
Over and over again,
And there are times
That knowing what I did
Is too much for me to stand,
And there are times
That knowing what I did
Is a source of the utmost pain,
I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
Repeatedly wrecked my dreams,
I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
Over and over again.
'Source of the Utmost Pain' was completed to my satisfaction on 26 March 2019, although it would not receive its title until early the following July, by which time the authentic unhappiness that inspired its creation had mercifully retreated into the background of my day to day existence.