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Raylene Lu Jun 2020
i always feel so stuck, like there is this strange expectation of me, like i am not the person they are expecting, they are using, that they are searching for. Or perhaps i constantly feel like that towards everything. I belong, and yet i don't. people belong yet they dont.
constantly trying to beat others, yet never knew be friends with them was really the answer. I am not involving myself enough yet i never want to be. I try then act like I never tried, blame others for annoying me yet allow them to.
I use platforms as an escape from people yet show the same people as a way of being accepted straight after. I do things behind people's backs only to tell everything later. i want to be free yet i have no clue what of.i dont know what is trapping me, but i just know it is. im writing things for myself only to tell them to others.
i message people and they finally reply, then only to feel abandoned again. Things come and go, but never here forever or for very long.
i complain of eyestrain yet stare continuously at the screen like some kind of void for the stress and blame inside me.
silvervi Jun 2020
No, I don't know
What love is
At all.

I am wondering
And my soul
Is about to fall

What is love
Why is love
And why are we all?

Are these simply questions of a depressed mind?
Maybe.
But also of one that is trying to find

Reasons
To live and to feel and to love.
Again.
More
And more honestly than ever.

Searching is my current state.
It's rather stuck, but does vibrate
Uncomfortably under my ribs
Where the deepest of feelings should be

Instead I am mostly inhibiting my head
But I want to learn to change that
My body needs more of my attention
I need to connect
To reconnect I guess.

I noticed there is a big gap
Between my soul, my head, my body..
It is as if I am existing in parts.

Maybe it's true cause energy is divided
Maybe.

I don't really know much
My focus recently has been very shallow
I guess I lost other people's touch
The human connections with fellows

They matter. Society matters.
This is where love meets me
But rarely.

I did experience hate though
In groups.
No body came to save me

But that's over, isn't it?
Or do I still have to learn to trust?

Am I still so influenced by it?
That I'd rather deny myself
Than to accept
That someone might not like
Sth about me instead.

Why is it so bad?
How to get rid of this weird energy.
How to find a way to be finally free.
I am not even begging for materialistic freedom.
I just want to be able to decide
How my life is gonna be
Where I am gonna be
And in each and every moment
What is actually right for me?

I know I overstepped some boundaries
And I will overstep even more
There are boundaries I overstep unwillingly
And there's others that I knowingly ignore.
A human mind reflects...
Is the world any brighter
    than what I can see,

    Everything is so dim
I'm unable to see any glee,

  Stuck sitting here wondering
how the world is suppose to be.

Silently crying my eyes dry
    as I'm lost to the fray,

Because the world is quite chaotic
     thinking what can I even say,
  
    Wish I could see some color
but all I see is this world of gray.
DeVaughn Station Jun 2020
With tears of confusion stinging his eyes,
the boy asked his mother, “Why aren’t we the same?”
She looked lovingly at him and explained,
“We are all the same, even though we have a different frame.”
So then the question arises,
for the despair, who is to blame?
Should shame be on those who hate others just for being different?
Saddened are those who spent all of their time being so bent,
but why should my pigment be my torment?

Is this what life is supposed to be like?
Where riding your bike in the wrong area can get you a strike?
Out of line if you speak out,
about the discrimination, where the right words will cause a bout.
Our understanding seems frozen until we break out
of greed, corruption, prejudice, envy, and lying.
People dying, mothers crying, and violence because of nothing.
But anything could help when your life hangs by a string.
Strung along sheep cast their ignorance with the swing
of their crude weapons or hurtful exclaim
with intent to defame and purpose to maim.
I wonder if we really are the same?
August 5, 2017: Even in spite of the great diligence from Civil Rights leaders, the lasting aftermath of prejudice, hate, ignorance, and segregation are still felt by everyone every day. Crude ignorances we face strangles our society as a whole, not just the targeted people. This is because an unnecessary mentality traps our thinking, and our lives into cycles of despair and hurt.
XslyfoxX May 2020
Nothing ever seems to change.
Prayer after prayer and I'm exactly the same.
Scoffing at the idea that I'll ever be holy.

Ive emptied the contents of my stomach
while kneeling on the floor
As many times as I've been at the foot of a pulpit
But I'm still ******* up and my remorse just doesn't do it.

It's never been enough for me to change.

I confess,
I'm selfish and abusive
to my soul for my amusement.
Nothing ever seems to change.

Burn me alive for ten thousand years
and I'll never change.
My regrets haven't meant a thing.

I can't accept that I'm this selfish
but my heart isn't whole again.

Each person affected for my brief moment of pleasure.
Not joy, not love, not need. - Just pleasure.

I want to be better.
I swear I just don't know how.
Someone please show me how.
Because my prayers are bouncing off the shower walls.
the past couple years since I've written anything Ive been really testing my wife and her limits. Ive been accused of awful things and lost my job based on both correct and incorrect information. I'm spiraling and I'm ashamed of they way I've acted and treated loved ones and total strangers simply because I am selfish. This poem isn't necessarily intended to be my best work or even to be "good" by anyones opinion. It's the best way I know how to communicate the fact that I realize my past mistakes over the last 4 years and can't seem to shake the immaturity or the just awful, sinful, and evil nature in my heart. I wish I was a normal man with normal issues that I could hide, but being exposed and judged by people who used to respect me and I long to have a relationship with again has destroyed me. I don't want to be known for the things I'm known for by people I used to look at as brothers. I also don't want to be thought of the way I am by total strangers and people who I haven't spoken with in years. This is unfortunately what happens when I acted out in disgusting ways without considering the consequences it would have on my life and more importantly the people who I involved.
I don't think I even know what love is but:
I love you.
MichaelJfourie May 2020
Hello Little Bird
I wonder if you heard

We are locked indoors
I can only watch you soar

Would you listen to my song
Where did we go wrong

Please dont go away
I want you to stay

How selfish of me
I forgot you are free
And
We are Caged
Sneha Thakur May 2020
I think there is a special beauty in being able to romanticize love.
Its all up in here, in my mind.
There is a spectrum of thoughts in my imagination.
Sometimes my love can be one sided and it's safe to say that i like that more.
The part where you get to wonder and the excitement that follows.
I wonder a lot of things about you.
About how do you look like when you laugh.
Do you have an ugly laugh or are you a shy laugher.
Sometimes i make up moments in my mind,
More than often in those moments, time freezes and we make our own little infinity.
Sometimes i want to say things to you, and i wonder what you will say back.
I wonder if you will say what i wanna hear.
I like the wondering part.
I like to think.
I wonder how it would feel to hold your hands.
When I can't comment on your small talk and I feel dumb
When I can't feel anything and pain becomes numb,
Wondering if I even have free thought.
Wondering and questioning if iRobot?
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