My heart is now shattered on the ground,
I stay wondering if love will ever be found.
I’m constantly in a war with my past,
I stay wondering if were moving too fast.
If I was judged on love I'd be in last place,
I stay wondering why my heart is constantly in a race.
I’m trying hard to win you over,
I stay wondering if your smile is just a cover.
I want to know if you want love or lust,
I stay wondering if it’s you I can trust.
I tend to always push you away,
I stay wondering if you will leave or stay.
My heart wants you to stay beside me,
I stay wondering do you even think we could ever be?
I fall harder and harder with every touch,
I stay wondering if its right to feel this much.
Have you ever needed someone so bad?
I stay wondering if one should ever be this sad.
Everybody dies, but not everybody lives,
I need to relax and think about all the things he gives.
I stay wondering how beautiful love looks to most,
I can only imagine as beautiful as the horizon on the coast.

Looking up at the sky
wondering!
Looking out to the horizon
wondering!
Looking at the mountains, the rivers, the seas
wondering!

What am I wondering?
"I'm not sure"
maybe I'm wondering
am I alone, are we alone
where are the stars, are they gone or just hidden
maybe I'm wondering
where it all went wrong
where did it go right
maybe I'm wondering
is it to late
can it be repaired
maybe I'm wondering
why we did what we did
why we waited so long

"Wondering"

I'm fine, I guess.
Just in case you were wondering.

It's been four years since that night on the pool table.
I still think about it.
Just in case you were wondering.

Nothing positive came from that experience.
Even though they said it would.
"You'll be so much stronger."
I can't find the strength.
Just in case you were wondering.

I hated you, and your baby that I almost had.
But it's been almost four years.
I wasn't too sad to lose her then.
I am now.
And I hate you.
Just in case you were wondering.

You called me last week.
You were drunk.
No, we can not do it again.
No, I will not make you dinner.
You disgust me.
Just in case you're wondering.

If your goal was to break me, you failed.
You just gave me the necessary tools to break myself.
I did it.
Just in case you were wondering.

I'm fine, I guess.
Just in case you were wondering.

I was wondering if you forgot my voice
in between sleepy sips of coffee,
if maybe you found solace
in daydreams, or nightmares, about us.

I am wondering if maybe your lips
found home in the curve of anothers neck,
and maybe your voice carried,
a lullaby in another girls ears.

I was wondering if you'd still hold me
as the rest of the world held my throat,
although I told them it was only
your hands I wanted to feel.

I am wondering if you meant it
with the promises of smoking Newports
and building a home in the sheets
that should be wrapped around our legs.

I was wondering if you made little promises
to other girls with vacant eyes
and dangerous habits, so that maybe
you could save them, too.

I was wondering why you would
fall in love with my mind, when you could have
the smooth curves and beaming smiles
of beautiful girls with big wallets.

and babe, I am still wondering why
you hate to see me smoking
when you do just the same,
and if its deadly things that scare you,
you better stay away from me.

I was wondering if I could make your heart my home
What is a home? A cozy kind of feeling where you feel loved?
Maybe I won't make it to see my mothers will
Maybe I won't see tomorrow
I'm wondering if you can be my tomorrow
Something to look forward to
I like to go into the woods and look for hope
I never find it, but I search to keep myself distracted from finding a rope
My phone's on airplane mode
I'm listening to liquid summer by diamond messages
This song brings me back to the summer
Same pain, different weather
If I were to be a dealer of some sort, I'd overdose on my own hope
An ounce of hope would do me good right now
I'm smiling right now, and I think it's because I'm thinking too much
Haha
I'm on my bike, just standing looking at cars pass by
Down on my mind, above the ground
I'm wondering what I should call the book I'm writing
The Art of Contradictions or The Art of Progression
My aunts cousins husband got me the bike I'm on, what the ****
I dont know what I'm doing I'm sorry
I'm an artist, not a lover
I try to be, once again... I'm just an artist
Sorry if I hurt you, I don't know what I'm doing
I'll do my best to love you, even if I dont know how to.... its 4:50 and I'm just an artist... sorry
It is now 5:34 and I'm sweaty, and cold
I never really got that combination
I quit smoking two days ago, so much for being sober
Im wondering how love can be young
Love doesn't age, a person does
Not too long ago I was eating pizza, now I'm here
Where is here? I dont know, it's not a home thats for sure
I'm surrounded by bricks
They protect me from the rain, but not from the tiny soldiers fighting war in my head
I'm on airplane mode and I'm wondering... I think I'm a phone on airplane mode
There's no use to a phone without internet or service
I wish I had my fathers bags, I also want to get you flowers
Black roses represent my soul
A rainbow represents the inside of it
My name is David Bojay, and you can call me whatever you want
I call myself a passionate suicidal artist
I hate to love, and I love you