I cultivated something under the snow
Sewed it deep to watch it grow
I felt the roots take and the warmth on my face
Resonating from the hearts I had froze

I shuddered against the intense heat
Battling my soul within a heartbeat
The seconds pass but the moments last
As the past slowly puts me to sleep

And of what should I dream but the bloodless seeds
And their chilled heartbeat from underneath
The silence sweeps as I wake and weep
And reflect, I respect that I cut too deep
And your demons escaped
But in my defense, recompense was achieved,
You did bleed, but never believed in Band-Aid
And every hand laid against you was desired
You're hardwired for self-defeat

I crush myself amidst my own callous hate
Bringing to light a dreadful new fate
With scars that burn and the images they create
Collapsing, falling under the massive weight
And suddenly you surround me
Making it difficult to breathe
But all the lies you never did believe
A layer of doubt hidden beneath
Typically speaking, you never say what you mean

Eyes silently weep, open,

But hidden by the shadows of lies,

Lies hushingly reek, rotten,

Until they get buried inside.

I promised to never leave yet I left
A promise I meant to keep but haven't kept.
So I sit here so many tears having wept.
For all my promises not kept.

I can no longer hold you, 
I was not there forever.
Unlike I had once told you, 
I doubt we'll be together.

I promised to make you my wife
To be there for you for all your life
Now I sit here and I weep
Over the promises I cannot keep.

1:45 a.m. 12/11/13

I am getting used to it
No message from you
No chat from me
Maybe i'm getting there

Day by day
I feel courage
Day by day
I feel strength

Everything is temporary
And this pain is no exception
This hurt will go away
Someday I'll be free

In time there'll be no more tears
Nor bitterness caged in my chest
No more racing thoughts in my head
Nor an image of a woman at night who weeps

Day by day
My heart will get used to it
Not being with you
And not kissing your lips.

Day by day
I'll get back to my feet
With my head up high
And a victorious smile on my face.

When that time comes
I'll know I have no regrets
Because in my heart I know
For what we had, I did my best.

We all want a partner to dance to the sound of love with,

Unfortunately love is not a dance that is easy to learn.

In fact it's purely a luck game,

your dealt your cards and their is no barter allowed.



I hope your the final card I hold

I'm so afraid to hold that queen of hearts down,

She will hit the table of my soul lost in a dream

Because love knows no caution, it has no  bounds.



I was in love once,

It was the secret to happiness for me,

Until bad blood began to flood our veins

And just like a infectious disease

It killed my hope, my happiness

And filled me with the detest.



I'll just do this life solo,

It's the safest route I can take,

Because I'm afraid,

Afraid my heart might turn to stone.



That would be the worst scenario,

Because rocks sink.

I want to one day swim,

And sink in into the depths of the ocean.

Do not weep for me,
For I no longer weep
In anticipation of you.

Long gone are the days that
I stooped to conquer, or
Be conquered by you.

I would come.
We would see.
You would conquer.

So do not weep for me,
As I won't weep for you.
You've never weeped for me,
So I will stop so for you.

I want to bask in your presence,
and revel in your smile,
meditate in your peacefulness,
and sing with you a while.

I want to share with you your glories,
and weep with you your fails,
praise you in your Heaven,
and suffer with you in your Hell.

I want to observe you in your spotlight,
and draw the curtains when you're not,
Be your sidekick in your rebellion,
and lie for you when you're caught.

I'll greet you in the morning light,
with my blurred line of wants and needs,
If the Universe grants my wish,
so begins the journey of you and me.

A dog's bark echo in the distance.

Crickets chirp beyond brick walls.

One faintly hears the owl's sweet call.

A pounding heart beneath the shall.

In the silence noises seep

leaving the listener to silently weep.