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Pendulum Feb 2018
I'm having this feeling again that's so familiar to me..
some years ago..
now it scares me..
it's like all those fears come rushing back to me again..
like my broken pieces that I tried so hard to put back together are cracking up again..
like I'm gonna be left alone again...
it's so scary I can't breath..
my chest feels so heavy I can't stop crying..
I feel like i am not needed..
I suddenly feel insecure..
like I no longer know my place..
Current emotion
  Nov 2015 Pendulum
E. E. Cummings
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
Pendulum Nov 2015
I am getting used to it
No message from you
No chat from me
Maybe i'm getting there

Day by day
I feel courage
Day by day
I feel strength

Everything is temporary
And this pain is no exception
This hurt will go away
Someday I'll be free

In time there'll be no more tears
Nor bitterness caged in my chest
No more racing thoughts in my head
Nor an image of a woman at night who weeps

Day by day
My heart will get used to it
Not being with you
And not kissing your lips.

Day by day
I'll get back to my feet
With my head up high
And a victorious smile on my face.

When that time comes
I'll know I have no regrets
Because in my heart I know
For what we had, I did my best.
Pendulum Nov 2015
It's not the cheating anymore
Nor the lies I believed in
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to give up on me
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to give me away
Just like a teddy bear
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to say I deserve someone better than you

But above all this I promise you
Someday I will become more than just a teddy bear
I will become a teddy bear that you or anybody can't just give away that easy..
I promise you that..
On the spot. Feeling pained.
  Nov 2015 Pendulum
Kj
dating a writer
is like guessing the weather.
you think you know what you'll get,
but you never do.

you never know
because

she'll create a hero
from your weaknesses

and she'll write a great character,
from every last flaw.

she'll create a thousand plots  
from your worst nightmares.

she'll take every last thing you hate
and create something you'll love.

she'll turn your anger
into confessions of adoration,

and she'll make you,
everything you're not.

but worst of all,
she'll leave you wondering-
is it you she's in love with,
or things she's created from you?

but here's the beauty of it:

if you date a writer,
you'll never die.
Pendulum Nov 2015
Next time, I hope you fall in love with someone who always chats back and never lets you fall asleep thinking you're unwanted.

I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies.

I hope you fall in love with someone who sees galaxies in your eyes and can write sonnets about them, and hears music in your heartbeat and laugh.

I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and make you smile on hard days and on easy ones.

But beyond all that, I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and will never take you for granted, someone who will stand by you when you're right and stand by you when you're wrong, someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still.

I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you in the cold and wouldn't have you any other way..
I just saw this one while browsing the internet from THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI. And i thought they're the same words I wanna tell you..
Pendulum Nov 2015
It's been 202 days
Since the last time we're together
202 days since I last held you,
202 days since we last kissed,
And everyday that I wasn't with you
Is everyday I missed you
Because I love you.

202 days and counting...
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