Once stood a girl at 4 feet tall
With hair of gold and imperfections so small
I knew this girl deeply as she was infact me
I watched her flourish like blossom on a tree
This girl of eleven was naive inside
She felt truly safe as she gazed at the tide
I'm sorry sweet girl that what i will say is true
You were robbed of your child hood before you knew
You felt so afraid of what he had planned
But you followed his requests and every demand
You were beaten and broken and hurt beyond repair
For a while you were not present, you were in despair
The man didn't think that once was enough
He dismantled you slowly calling your bluff
And now you lay sobbing in a warm pool of blood
Removing the pain from the inside flood
Sweet girl I know that this pain will now shape you
I'm sorry you felt like there was never a breakthrough
You were stuck in this time zone for far too long
I'll help you escape without doing you wrong
Your dignity was gone and for that you would grieve
But your ability to do so was taken by others in need.

I cant fight any more.... I'm done.
My own mind assaults me and it knows my weaknesses.
The gaping wounds in my thoughts are constantly re-opened.
I wonder which side of sanity I live on and I despair....
What if I am sane?
What if this is reality and my vision clear?
My refuge then must surely be insanity?
Or am I already there?

If you could choose between
losing yourself and discovering
the deepest parts of your soul with
their weakness, fragilities and fears,
what will your choice be eventually?
And if you go for the first one,
will you walk in the streets
like an empty body looking lost
among humans whom souls you
cannot and do not want to touch?
And if you go for the second one
will you have the strength to fight
the demons who will come at night?
Will you see your soul while looking
in the mirror and recognize it as yours
in its whole being, with its scars?
If you could be whole, would
you still choose to be a half?

Train baring down on the ex-lover
Like a shell casing: silver coffin.
He hasn’t told her yet, still he
Summoned her here. And so
Onto the old meeting-place.

Careless gestures, there follows a
Long walk. Down the trail that
Speaks clearer left undisturbed.
After all, the nature of things.
The light bright though lacking luster
Refracted through the tangled cords
Of ivy, tree limbs -

A festival of dead leaves.
Warmed mud envelops soles
Engorging them like bloodrush
As a half-loving couple trek on.
It feels like autumn when spring comes

As winter is bowing out again.
He feels that way two, three
Times a year; wishing it remained
Taunting circularity, he plods on.
No escape.

Get up
Get up
I can’t
First 3 days
Sky goes to sleep
Tells me to fall into the rabbit hole
Takes my eyes away to sleep
Takes my mouth away for silence
Takes legs away to rest
Mind in an empty shell
Wondering what to think next
Falling deeper into the rabbit hole….
Last 3 days
Sky yawns at the dawn
Stretches its cloudy muscles and pulls the mind out
Gives my eyes back to view beauty again
Gives my mouth back to speak and sing my heart and soul
Brings my legs back to run, jump, and kick
Pushes me onto my magnificent, trusted, steed
Rushes me to drive to the ends of the earth
Always ready for a new adventure
The sky creates me each day
The sky kills me then brings me back to life
To remind me to believe anything is possible

uninvited,
the tears stroll down my cheeks,

unintended,
the words come out all wrong,

underrated,
as your perspective of me isn’t my reality,

under construction,
is the fight against my tears,

understand,
that there is strength in vulnerability,

unravel,
your tears from their cells
and let go of the custody of pain.

Love is a weakness,
or so they say.
Is our love my strength?
because I often feel you never meet me halfway.
Why is it always the same person
who makes me feel the most loved, is the
one who has the power to rip my happiness away with a single look?
The one that holds me when I'm in shambles
and wipes away my tears
is the same person who caused them here.
I've always dreamed of a fairy tale romance,
and with you, I have wanted that for so long.
but given the circumstance,
soon I'll be gone.

Your weakness feeds my strength.