As I ponder upon my life
I feel as though I'm trapped inside a book of science fiction
Deep down in my bleeding heart I hope its about a
fantasical expidition
But in reality,
all the pages therein
Are screaming of my affliction
I pray with all my soul and might that there will be a
miraculous transition

I know I am the author
and that I hold
the key to victory
But what becomes of the ending
We'll just have to see
I need to pen in an
overcoming battle
And set my future free
I need to set up the ending
And decide just who I am to be

With all these things in mind,
I still frantically flip
through all the pages
Knowing all the pain I've caused
And seeing my past rages
Seeing all the failures pass
As it comes and goes in stages
How can I conquer all of this
When Ive been a total waste of space for ages?

I cannot help but gaze upon the blank sheets that follow after
After all, this book is not sci fi and I wont let it become
a great disaster
I do however, have a hero
and that hero is my sister
Ill be a mighty warrior just like her and I'll become the victor

I look towards the ending with my inspiration right in tow
Knowing that ill overcome and that my strength will grow.
I see my hero overcome on a daily basis and this
hard fact I know.
So just like her, I'll fight this battle everyday even if the goings slow
Ill do my best and fight the fight
Take up my mighty pen of life and deal the final blow!

I sure would love to write. But long behold I have my consciousness to fight. Get out of my way you *******! Get out of my sight! What you're doing to me is vile, it just isn't right!

Ha! You're terrible I tell you! Your work is destined to fail! A pathway of let downs. A pathetic paper trail. You're just writing for dumpsters like its discarded mail.

Silence you demon! I will discover my strengths and discover my style. Bet your *** on that you *****. Or my name isn't Kyle! I'm not destined for failure. Youre making me tick. I'm fed up with your ******* and you're making me sick.

Hahaha I see what's happening here! Im winning you over because you're beginning to fear. You will never silence me because I am all that you hear. Throw away this writing because your ending is near. Boo hoo you baby! Are you shedding a tear?

Fall back because I'm conquering you! My determination is gritty and my motives are true. In loo of my weaknesses and in loo of my doubt. Ill never give in and cry, nor will I give in and pout. My armor is powerful and my posture is stout.

Ah, I see. Are you now breaking free? Are you standing your ground and silencing me? But what of your writings? What will they be? A dumpster fire! I bet your *** we will see! And when that happens Ill be filled with glee.

Its over Debby downer because I'll learn new techniques. I'll lay down my heart and all that it speaks. Ill write highs and lows, Ill write valleys and peaks. Ill write with the blood that my bleeding heart leaks. Now change your attitude because your attitude reaks!

I understand and submit. I lay out the red carpet for you. I see you speak from the heart and your heart does speak true. But nevertheless, I'll stick just like glue. When you worry and doubt I'll be pouncing on you. When you're pondering ideas and out for something that's new. The writings you write without me will be few.

Tousche, that's fine, but you've run out of time. Now let go of the pen because the pen is mine. I'm free to write my writings and the feelings sublime. When I master my craft my writings will be so divine. You're despicable, a decrepit rat! Ill be successful.
You can bet your *** on that!

You Majestic Swaying Palm!
Bending with discrete respect
in the breezing sea with ageless patience,

With Ageless Patience,
You Exhibit your Slenderness,

for those that seek to taste your fruit,
and Wondering in Solitude,
for those naked men and their wishes,
for those naked men and their hopes
to climb and touch your crown,

You Majestic King!
Evergreen and Ever-Present!
Shooting life against the evening stars,   
Declaring Victory
over the noisy world and dreamy sea.

Your waters are slowly drowning me
The waves of your unrequitedness dragging me below
This ocean so indifferent and cold
My gasps for air fall deaf on your salty waters

Your currents tossing me around like a rag doll
Gurgling cries emanating from my lungs
A Godly barge frantically tossing a life saver
My attempts are no match for your choppy seas

Fight I will with all my might
To survive, to live and to thrive
Victorious, I will reign above the drenching flow
Of your dark emotionless undertow

I spoke to Sgt. Johnny Whykill,
on the phone.
He has survived on earth since our war use, as lives
bet, but not lost,

but barely. He lives in a VA hospital in Miami.
He can't even imagine dying elsewhere.
"Can't wipe m'own ****, but I can think about it."
Sad state, yet there is no undoing, there are
redo situations,
ment'lly
rethink the reaction to any pending next that seems

familiar, like a spirit, the kind not spoken of kindly,
speckled and spotted…
sorted by genetics with a
genius for splashes and whorls forming

one-off cattle of many colors,
mind me I am wasted with effort to empathize

via voice across the continent, over the gravity
under the weather
into the madness
through the rambling nonsense
which starts
settling down, when the nurse comes to wipe him,
He says,
"had to go, semper fi, bro, love you, thanks for callin',
you always make **** happen".

ONE GOOD DEED -exchanged
for all it's worth.

Failure,
The single word that defines me,
And it eats away at me,
Because that seven letter word is worse than sin,
From the perspective of the world.
Freedom,
Another seven letters that have been stated before,
Land of the free and the fight for freedom,
But what does that even mean anymore,
My life has never been more than a striving for perfection,
Chasing after something that can never be obtained,
My temptation, my tantalization,
The delightful piece of fruit that is out of reach for all but a few,
Says the words of a society where to be a success is to stand above the rest,
But how I covet the ability to taste the sweet juice of my victory,
But instead, everything has victory over me.
How can a concept defeat a person?
It acts like a virus,
Eating at my brain until it is mush,
Useless except in afflicting misery on my imagination.
Left trapped in my worst memories,
Reliving things that can never be changed.