You said it was only a dark-skinned night
but I see a waxing Moon so bright
shimmering on its velvet lap.

You said none you can see
in a pitch-dark black night.
But I see a wide open starry sky
flanked by romantic moonlight.

his voice is like smoke and stars,
and a sad soft guitar,
outlined with hope.

so much hope
-so much strength,
so much that’s gone.

you look up to the skies
-something beautiful has happened,
and now you’ve begun to face the tragedy that came with it.

feet move to the beat,
a hand pulls you along,
but that hand let go.

and suddenly your
feet are made of stone,
dance no longer.

he understands,
and translates.
velvet, hope, heartbreak.

it’s not just lovers,
it’s not just lovers,
that cause heartbreak.

you and us and all of us,
we were good and we did it
-we broke each other’s hearts.

nobody really knew,
but even though you,
you didn’t know me.

you became the closest person,
because i didn’t have anyone,
or let anyone hold me while i cried.

but you -just you,
you did hold me somehow,
everything you did was like a blanket.

when i doubted them,
when they weren’t enough,
you.

a warm embrace,
a translator for a girl without words,
smoke, stars, and soft guitar.

You, my dear,
are very
much unlike
the rest.
Your antlers
have not yet
grown in
and you worry
they never will.
But the boy with
amber eyes
says that
yours will be
made of crystal
and not of
bone and
velvet.
☪

My mind skates across reality
finding home in nervous habits
a past of unfolding tragedy
diving into water that is too deep
I search for your warmth
in the back of my mind

I grasp into the air and helplessly,
relentlessly my mind pulls me down

Save me. Take me back to the coolness
of early summer nights
blissfully watching the movement
of your lips
you sing only to me
and my soul is found in the center of your universe
your hands wrap around the back of my neck
glide my sorrows away
with the tips of your fingers —
a breeze I crave to live in.  

Fall with me into the warm fields we know
golden light and velvet sound
endlessly and hopelessly wrap me
into you as my soul breathes
a hopeful breath of hopelessness

today i feel like velvet.
forest green velvet, to be exact.
today i flow like a waterfall of jazz notes,
a crescendo over a tuxedo piano.
my soul feels soft;
slinky, too,
like it could melt with anyone and
create something beautiful.
today i taste like salt,
mostly because tears are sliding down the back of my throat
and my eyes are the Dead Sea
and oh god, you actually thought i was sugar, didn't you?
today i am a nightmare,
robed in a lacy white dress and stuck under a peach sky.
i'm sure you'll tell me i look beautiful.
would you say the same if you knew i wrote about you?
today i am the ink of a ballpoint pen...
i'm sure you know what it's like to doodle calligraphy
on the corner of your math homework when suddenly
and ink blot appears
where the last letter of my name should be.
well, that's me.
everything is perfect--
until it's not.
today i am beautiful trauma.
try to hold me down.
i dare you.