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  Feb 2019 alexa
Olivia Ventura
I'm wearing a halo of red light,
While you wear one of blue;
You gravitate towards the earth,
And I fall away, without you.

I drift into myself,
And you have no idea who you are;
You are a heavy mass of rock,
and I am a dying star.

But as I expand and explode,
You try to prove your gregarious spirit;
Eventually, we will collide,
And I will be able to endure it.
The title of the poem is the last missing verse
alexa Feb 2019
i don't want to write
because i know if i do
i'll only be staring back
at reflections of you

but my words have been silenced
for long enough, they cry
to be let out
to be shouted to the sky

it's hard to remain
so calm and even-keeled
when i'm stitching shut a wound
that isn't ready to be healed

but i'm back on my feet
i've gotten off my knees
learning that i'm the only one
i need to please

you can call me cold
i really don't care
but for once i feel okay-
i'm becoming happy, i swear

it's been about three weeks
and he's still constantly on my mind
and while each thought reminds me
of a better time

i'm unlearning the taste
of his lips and his words
forgetting what it felt like
to be someone's "girl"

because being with him made me forget
that i am my own
i don't belong to him or
anyone else
and i am my home

if  you want to make "home" a person
don't make it anyone but you
you're the only one guaranteed
not to just pass through

so i guess this is the start
of my journey to self-love
of acceptance and growth
and belief in the above

and while i'm still not great
i know i'll be there on my own
so thank you, ex-lover,
for teaching me how to be alone.
hey guys, i'm back. i know it's been a little while but i've been doing some soul-searching and i gotta say, i'm doing a lot better :)
  Feb 2019 alexa
Please tell me that,
we're just taking a break.
And when we see each other,
face to face and hands in hands.
We will come back,
to each other again.
Because home is you,
and I'm sure of that.

I tell you this,
my biggest secret.
I've never loved the hardest way,
still loving you but walk away.
Hoping that you will come back,
like sunsets I see and things I promised.
Because I thought I'm strong like this,
turns out I died a little bit.
For when I'm losing myself again, you took yourself away from me along with my heart, now I'm empty.

ㅡ n.s
  Feb 2019 alexa
oh honey
we’re meant to be
don’t say
i don’t love you,
i know
i will win this raging battle inside,
but i also said
i would win over your heart,
my truth is
i can’t wipe my memory clean of you,
can’t wash your touch off my body,
i can’t warm my hands where yours used to be,
i just can’t let you go that easy.

now read bottom to top.
written a few months ago, found it and finally titled, inspired by a couple reverse poems i read on here:)
alexa Jan 2019
i find it hard to believe
that everything happens for a reason when
after two years of drowning in my own sadness
i found happiness
and three months later he was ripped out of my arms.

i find it funny how
one person can trick you into thinking
we're not all going to end up alone
but really
after 80 some-odd years on this planet
we are alone for the rest of eternity
so i guess i don't see the appeal
of finding someone for those short several decades.

i find it quite ironic
that the source of your infinite happiness
and eternal despair
can be the same exact boy with olive skin and dark freckle under his right eye
he who can start a panic attack rising in your chest
with one glance across the crowded gymnasium.

remind me how to forget.
alexa Jan 2019
i told you not to make promises you can't keep
yet you still swore to me
you were in this for the forever.
you promised me you wouldn't leave,
and then you left.
should i even be surprised?
they've always left.
someone please help
the pain is too much
alexa Jan 2019
you made your decision
and now we both have to live with it;

don't even ask-
yes, it's too soon
no, i'm not ready to be friends
no, i cannot talk to you like normal.
because i can't erase your memory from my mind,
because i can't forget your lips
or skin
or how it felt to lay in your arms
or the way the setting sun would color your small room
as we rolled around on top of your sheets...
you made your decision
and now we both have to live with it;
don't tell me how heartbroken you are
and expect me to sympathize...
you broke my heart,

and now you have to live with it.
how do i begin to undo when there's so much undoing to be done?
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