Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterwards (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after

  By Christmas, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines

I remember this moment as if it were just years ago.
Felt this feeling before, guess my lifes been put on hold.
I sensed the fear in my heart.
Been too scared to rip apart.
The negativity attached to me. (Its all I know)
Its been exactly three 3 years since I've walked this path.
And now I realize there's no turning back...no turning back.
Just know that I realize
I know whats on the line.
I just gotta remember to remind myself

You just want to be dependable.
No you don't want to be dispensable.
You're much older now.
You're much wiser now.

There are certain things that I've come to understand.
The expectations I had for myself didn't go as planned.
I tried to mask all the pain.
Of my failure of a life.
Just to see that that ain't right.
But in moments like this, i ask myself.
Is this really the road you wanna go? Hell no.
But just know, that I realize now.
I know whats on the line.
I just gotta remember to remind myself.

You just want to be dependable.
No you don't want to be dispensable.
You're much older now.
You're much wiser now.
You don't want to be emotional.
No you don't want to be disposable.
You're so much older now.
You're so much wiser now.

First of all it’s free and it may be a sign of glee

It can light up a room clearing the gloom

From small beginnings it can turn into laughter thereafter

Apparently it takes a lot of muscle for it to win out that tussle

Some call it a frown upside down

When flashed upon approach it can help someone coach

Something a mile wide and possibly creating mirth inside

So take it out for a spin feel the joy it will bring

Flash those pearly whites and gain new insights

To what will make your heart sing and its stirring

Who knows where it can lead when planted like a seed

Perhaps kinship or friendship is on its way this day

All from that thing that’s free and others can clearly see

A smile in the aisle

Andreas Simic©

I’ve been seeping constellations for you-
For you to see the colors within me
But i can see the milky way on my bathroom sink
And I’m bleeding all over the broken bottles you left last saturday
And on the empty pill bottles I was prescribed to forget you

When you kissed me last you told me I tasted like a stranger
Even though I’ve showed you every galaxy I hide inside me
All my stars and the spaces in between them
You used to tell me you could see the sky in my eyes
But last time I heard you haven’t checked the weather in months

The stars are sleeping in my veins now,
I started saving them from my bedroom floor
But i can still feel you on my fingertips
I still think of you every time I look at the sky

I’ve been kissing strangers to forget the taste of your lips
But i feel you in the back of my throat every time I smile
I feel you in my voice when someone asks me about my plans for the future
Because my entire life I was told one day I will find my better half
And you always told me you were mine
But who are you to tell me I need someone else to feel whole?

I'm a bit different,
that's what they always say.
I go about everything I do,
in my own sort of way.

I'm a bit unique.
Where others are straight I'm oblique.
When some choose red I choose blue.
That doesn't make me less of a person than you!

If who you are,
doesn't line up with even a single star,
then shine brighter then others do,
knowing that there's nobody else like you.

Walking about,
there's no need to pout.
Just smile and wave,
don't force yourself to be how they expect you to behave.

You are you,
and that's more than enough.
There's no need for changes,
that makes for too much fluff.

So if you're different,
just like me,
then think of it as a gift,
of which nobody else could receive,
and make your own special mark in history.

Darkness lays heavy
upon my heart
as the bleak night seeps

no light in sight
not dim nor stark
my faith fades
here in the this dark

Dearest darkness
my only friend
shakes my faith
before I leap

he whispers close
Light will come
day will break
just please believe

On lonely days,
when I feel broke,
The kind of day that feels like I've lost
All hope,
It comes to take
Away the pain...

It splits the sky;
It clears the rain.
It sends a ray of light into my
Shadow -filled brain.
For just today,
It'll be okay...

But sometimes,
Sunshine,
It clears away the fog and it helps remind,
That I deserve
This gift of life...

And sometimes,
Sunshine,
Means another day when I can
Let it all out,
And I can smile,
Without my doubts...

On days when I
Sit locked inside,
Feeling so depressed I couldn't laugh
Or cry,
I'd close my eyes,
And step outside...

And sometimes,
Sunshine,
Like a memory from another
Lifetime,
A warm embrace;
My kindest friend...

On endless months,
Or brutal weeks,
Those times when even sleep never
Brings relief,
No drink or pill
Can give me peace...

I lay awake,
Beneath the sheets,
Begging for a dream that doesn't have
To be sweet.
Just let me fade,
And end this day...

But when I wake,
It covers me,
Brightest of them all in the Great Black
Sea,
It seems to say,
"Come out and play. "

See, sometimes,
Sunshine,
Means another day when I can
Never mind,
And leaves me free,
To just be Me...

And sometimes,
Sunshine,
Makes me think about why I
Doubt myself,
This gentle breeze
Can set me free...