Its in your head
what you said
your made up fantacy
it's not reality
but that's your world
with your imaginary girl

A day out of the past are the days that seem like a dream. Please remember that things are unreal, but are also very very real.

There are thousands of cars everywhere, parked,
Some to the sides, others facing each other,
The outside a gloomy dark grey haze,
The sun casting a pale empty light over the
Desolate, bleak landscape of sand far away.
Hundreds of empty cars, an end-days scene,
This dark tunnel unbelievable as can be,
I'm looking for a cause of all this I'm seeing,
Suddenly these angry glossy eyes of "the thin one"
Right before me, in an instant I see him staring back
At me, like a preying mantis? It's something unreal.
*But this is how I found out about them in my dream.

When I think of you,
I see this imaginary person my mind has created
to make the pain easier to endure,
I see you reading my words
and writing to me,
worried or smiling,
sometimes happy, but most of the time sad.

When I think of you,
I can feel the warmth coming from your soul
even though it is full of cold darkness and full of demons in there,
when I think of you
I imagine your beautiful smile,
your voice whispering healing words,
your eyes looking into my heart,
I can see myself being in your arms and feeling safe.

When I think of you
I imagine someone who would wait for me
in a small, warm-lighted house,
at the end of a hard winter day.

When I think of you,
I see someone who would
Make soup for me when I am down and hungry.

When I think of you, it sometimes hurts
because I will never know if you are real,
I will never have the smile,
I will always have only the words.

When I think of you
I have the feeling of emptiness,
like a cold winter wind blows in my body.
I feel like my stomach clenches up in knots,
and I can't breathe or speak any more.

When I think you, it hurts so much
because I'm always down,
I'm always hungry.

Was I really speaking with her, or was this all in my head. Because it seemed like a fever dream, that wouldn't end. Like I was awake and asleep at the same time, stuck inbetween. But I'd only wished it was just a dream.

The scientists say it could all be a hallucination, but how real a hallucination can be.
*Real enough to hurt you.