Feb 2016
I don't think you understand
I feel nothing
and I can't do anything about it
I simply feel nothing
the way I see the world
is so ******* up
I can't touch anything
all I hear is white noise
the world is two dimensional
and meaningless
and unreal
and I don't think you understand
what this is
who this makes me
how my emotions aren't mine
how I can't comprehend a single word
and I can't control a word
that comes out of my mouth
this, this is what I am
I'm a monster in the making
I feel nothing
and I can't do anything about it
I simply feel nothing
the way I see the world
is so ******* up
I can't touch anything
all I hear is white noise
the world is two dimensional
and meaningless
and unreal
and I don't think you understand
what this is
who this makes me
how my emotions aren't mine
how I can't comprehend a single word
and I can't control a word
that comes out of my mouth
this, this is what I am
I'm a monster in the making
Ugh I'm on a church retreat right now and all I wanted to do was post a poem the whole time.
But to be serious, I suffer from de realization or possibly depersonalization, which are both dissociative disorders, but derealization is characterized by spacing out and felling disconnected from the body. While this may not sound awful, it affects my day to day life in more ways than you could imagine. I'm not trying to complain, but I know I need help but I dont want to tell anyone. I need help but I can't get it. So anyway, that's what this poem is about
But to be serious, I suffer from de realization or possibly depersonalization, which are both dissociative disorders, but derealization is characterized by spacing out and felling disconnected from the body. While this may not sound awful, it affects my day to day life in more ways than you could imagine. I'm not trying to complain, but I know I need help but I dont want to tell anyone. I need help but I can't get it. So anyway, that's what this poem is about
