gossip
like a
raging fire
burning, glowing
wild flames
steam rising
crackling popping
red, hot
spreading uncontrollably
who knows
what will
survive, escape
amidst the debris
everything lost
anger, tears

and the
fire fighters
come only
to explain
“source, unknown”

In between the Milky Way and the black holes
Of the universe inside of this ever expanding mind
Growing only to see itself ever smaller
Humbled truth feels the most
Adoring
The fragile perfection of sparkles inside the morning dew
And the mind flows in all directions and thoughts
So random but in this infinite state
Logic is only a string you use to control the
Beads of experience and sometimes it helps
And in other times you get a glimpse
Of something unfathomably familiar
And you know that no matter how much Blessings you gathered in life
Without a contact it left an empty space
Or was it there since before the beginning
What DO I know in fact that cancels the
Clarity of the feeling that through a sideways
Glimpse I captured a snapshot of home
In the strangest of places
All this rumbiling cacophony of worlds
Yet again fails to explain
The absence of logic in something
That is beyond logic for it is
The meaning
And despite it all
Life goes on
You play your part
The way you must
The way you feel
And you still know so little
Feeling the truth on the periphery

Smoke plumes, I watch as the needle falls
and a chill consumes.
Uninteresting to those who misunderstand
what this species can do.
Deepest sleep is an uncontrollable beast,
with unmatched desire and speed.
I could confess now,
but it's not something they'll ever need.
In this moment we all lie alone,
driven to separate ourselves
from what's always been known.
Fighting to defend science,
they can't comprehend without bias.
A fist is made, an arm hurdled
with oblivious intent.
What is reality? Subconscious asks,
again.
Ten times and we climb to live as men.
Again.
Twenty times,
and they claim to be heaven sent.

The feeling one gets
From swallowing food down the wrong pipe
That erupts in coughs of desperate breaths

That is how my love bursts for you

As if short gasps spastic
Longing for oxygen
Toxic
is the lack of the air you reside in

Eyelids filling with biological tears
Uncontrollable in designation
I must stop here and stand for a while
To regain my composure

A pause;
T'was a shock that made me lose all routine reason
Normally
I am quite skilled at delivering food gastronomically

It was the thought of thee looking directly at me
Made me choke and lunge for the particles
No one can see

A fit of admiration
I have no constraints
Nor restraints
Nor act tame
To disguise this repertoire,  

All I can do is stand far
And sit in recovery
Wondering thusly
If these bursts of desire
Will take my breath away
Once more.

Her fingerprints were a maze I was hopelessly lost in.
Her eyes were the sky I could only ever look up at in awe, never to break through the clouds.
Her lips were the mountains I would die on, to forever be a warning of what lay ahead.
Her heart was a fire I would gaze at in the night, never to grasp in my palms.

She was chaos.

My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder causes me severe anxiety.

It's hard. To have it my way. It's hard. I overthink it. The images of the little things replay in my mind.
I can't seem to hide.

Why do I have this fear? Just make it all disappear. It's not reasonable yet it feels so intense.
I feel tense. I am not satisfied with my presence. I feel uncomfortable.
Why am I not content with my surroundings.

My disorder involves both obsessions and compulsions that take up lot of time and get in the way of important activities that I value.

So many mistakes that I need to fix.
So hard to perfect everything.

The line I drew isn't straight, I have to start all over.

I need to wash my hands again. It's been 5 minutes since I haven't.

Don't bite the Kit Kat, break off each stick and eat it.

The clothes in my closet should be hung up and organized by color.

My picture frame isn't hung up in the middle of the wall.

My food should not be mixed with the side dishes or I refuse to eat.

My apps aren't on the right page of my phone.
Twitter should be under social and instagram should be under photography and if it's not, it's wrong, it's all wrong!


I need to wash my hands again it's been 10 minutes since I haven't.

The tv volume should only be an even number or a multiple of five.

Why is my seatbelt twisted?
My mind is twisted.
All these errors are persistent.
So hard to resist it.

I am not leaving my house until my phone is 100%, 97% and I can't stand it (will not do. )

Mother tells me it'll be alright after i take my pills...I agree to as long as the pills are sorted by color

Do you know what it feels like to go mad
And to know there's no way you can stop it?
For those thoughts, they race to no finish line;
You can't convince yourself it's make believe
Because it's the only reality
Your shattered mind can still some what process.

There's that-but no, this-but then-no-shut up!
My hands begin to quiver, fingers pressed
Against my temple; they slide down my cheeks,
Cold, lifeless almost, if they weren't moving
Involuntarily, out of control
Like my thoughts of utmost insanity.

How do I know I'm insane then? Because
Of the looks I get, the judgement is blunt
And I was taught better one time ago
When my brain understood some more logic.
I'm going mad, sharp breaths, desperate thoughts
I want to stop it but I just cannot.

This is what happens when mind scares the heart
And all that is left to do is escape.