Listen, as you may miss.
And later unable to reminisce.
For a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom
May be lost in your personal abyss.

That feeling,
So soft yet so harsh.
Your love is hard to punch through,
Like water and starch.

string for a tail
I'm a runner
and I am frail
spring for my
heart
I am bound
to come apart
and as I let go
the dogs run to hunt me down
like
paper wings on a
killer whale
a strange life since I jumped from the ocean
out of my bramble patch
and into motion

I found it !
Betchu , you don't even know about it.
I bet it hurts, but it's gone hurt much more - as we go deep into the future person!
I don't think you deserve your title !
Simultaneously I think you do.
This thing I found - I don't think I was supposed to find this proof.!
I thought I needed confirmation from death - and look who brung it to me.
They say mental problems are something that's inherited.
I thought that was overrated - this paper shows me something different, its too ****** vivid.
It's like a nightmare , that I'm embracing .
Running from the devil , then get trapped in a corner - just to face him.
I don't think this was meant for me - ok but if it was.
Who can I run to for help - when it was you that I trust?
How can I trust you - when you ain't got no confidence yourself?
And you never said that - honestly I never thought , I wouldn't be in need of your help.
Instead you're the one crying out for closure.
I knew the feeling was off that day when I woke up.
I didn't pay any attention - I left , I thought there was something in the world that I was missing.
I knew that feeling was off , I come back a few hours later - to a cut on your arm?!
Wow , this **** so ****** hard to believe - I look down and see a letter, covered in red.?!
Honestly I think god for sparing your life and many others that would've been affected - I would've been mentally dead.
However , now - scenarios keep consuming my head .!
All the " what if's" and the "why the f* did you do this".!
Still as hardened cement - not one single sound, escaped from my lips.
Person you're a coward - I can't ****** believe you .
I'm no better , I guess you can say we're both getting mentally strangled by life's chain.
So who's stronger - I always wanted to do it , but never had the courage - you did it but didn't get submerged in the red rain.
I guess it's better to stop running and just embrace the pain .
I'm numb , this feeling - honestly isn't like any other !!
I found your sui-cide letter mother...

I. THE CONFRONTATION

The angel. It stares at me-
For what, I wonder?
In its glossy eyes-
So wet that it could reflect
My staring face back
That remains anti-climatic,
That remains forgettable
That still remains staring.

The angel. It should laugh-
At me, the Fresh And Modern Fool
Who is short of sparks
That go off in the heart.

However, the angel- it does not
Come to me with its
Face red,
Face puffy,
Eyes glossy
& losing faith
That is reserved for its Creator.

II. THE NEW SIN

In fact:
It has not come to riducle me.

For my lack of speech,
My lack of basic human tendencies,
My lack of basic silent rhythm shared
between one person and another-
Instead, it wants to ask me-
Or better yet- it Demands me,

“Who is it? That has hands
As red as this blood pooling
Out of me,
Never to stop?-

“Whose hands can stab,
An angel without agony,
Without underlying trauma
That nurtured him?-

“Who could possibly pray
In front of me,
With their hands bloodied
In association with a blade-

“Eyes without remorse
Or personal passion?
Why, why, why, oh why?
Could it be you?-

III. THE ACCUSATION AND FORCED PERCEPTION

“The Fool?
The Fresh and Modern bufoon
That fails to begin yet
Fails to end?”

- eoz.

follow the moon straight out of sight
I went down the rabbit hole in the deadest dark of night

you aren't alone my friend in thinking you would find your flower deep down in the hollow

I went through the gold glass window at the bottom of the smokey bottle
I woke up in the grass with the glass and the sun in my eye
looking up through a gold glass window
at the beautiful sky

Mom I love you but you're making things tough
the other boys at school are kinda treating me rough
they see me rollin like a ball of dough
running for the hills, hungry and slow

mom I know you're trying now
and you think its cool, somehow

but i'm slowly dyin and thinking of quittin school
I've never had so many friends
I didn't need

you're so sugar sweet
its making me bleed

i've got a wealth of problems bundled in my lap
two snicker doodles my  gingersnap
my life is in peril and i'm in a crunch
cause I'm the kid with cookies for lunch

may every hurt be healed
with loving intent, and positivity
in my heart hope springs eternal,
our equinox comes at this time of year

one deep breath from finding balance
and on to better days
we have all this air to breathe
yet, anxiously we hold our breath
unwilling to believe