To love is as good as learning to swim,
Afraid to get  into the pool of love,
Sorry, you will never learn,
Love will pass you.
Be brave, take a deep breath,
Dive into the deep end,
There will be fireworks,
The sky will be ablaze with love stars.
You have three options to learn to love,
You drown into the pool of love,
You learn to stay afloat,
Or somebody rescues you,
The choice is yours.

And there is
no point in
swimming in a water
that's too deep for you.

Let her go.

i float on a frozen surface,
as my heart bathes
in a stench
of streaming lonesomeness.

As a kid, I felt lost
Unsure of the whys of my life
Unsure of my journey
I was a salmon swimming against the currents
Trying to fight life with the strength I was given
This was my flow
until I reached stillness and happiness
I was now a young adult floating in peace
Far from where I started
I felt accomplished

The quiet lake became an ocean before I could even glance at the wonder
Unfamiliar and vast
I found myself lost once again
Breaking through the waves of life
Unsure of the whys
But believing in the journey

Until one day, the deep urge to go home
To that stream where the currents were strong and familiar
For the first time in my life
I stopped swimming,
I had to go back to the mud
where my roots remained untouched

Now here I am
In nature’s water
I understand that home is not a place
Home is the current that leads me
I now swim with the tide not against it.
I stopped asking why
And started looking up
Where I can enjoy the sky
Basking in the beauty of this moment
I am trusting my path
Exploring moments without destinations

Jl 2018

The boat bobs with the rhythm of the ocean,
And it’s serene,
The motion mimicking that of a mother’s womb,
Calming,
Out of my hands…
But everything is out of my hands,
Because I’m no bird.
Though not being a bird means
That no net ensnares me,
It also means that I cannot fly away from this place,
Right here on this wave,
On this boat,
In this sea.
I’m no bird,
And no wings will carry me,
No adventure awaits me,
I simply sit.
Alone.

We are escaping. One, two, three, four of us. We are escaping from a shabby, ill insulated trailer home dressed for the 70's. It's poo brown **** carpets and dilapidated yellow wallpaper is behind us, finally. Here we are in brisk mountain air looking over and smiling at one another as we soar down the slopes on our skis. I smile to my right - all the while giggling at our oddly fitted goggles and red, wind whipped noses. I feel completely in control. The other three zip past me and down the slopes. I see them make it to our destination: A nice, contemporary and cozy cottage; but I take my time. I'm moving freely and side to side, wearing a smile as wide as my head. I approach the destination to meet the other three. All too suddenly, rather than coming to a nice stop, I realize that I am approaching a ski jump instead. With out enough time to stop myself, I decide to position my self so that I land in the pond that sits slightly to left of the jump. I hit the jump and soar in the shallowest sky, close my eyes and brace myself for the coldest water my body has no desire of sensing. I become enveloped in liquid warmth just seconds later. It's the most surprising embrace and I almost choose not to leave. But I remerge with my goggles missing and I watch the steam rise from the water in all directions. Asfter I wade to the edge of the pond, I pick up my heavy, saturated body and drag it onto the snow, smiling and unaffected by the cold, wet earth beneath me.

when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?

A knife swims in the eery air
bursting down
smearing the few fawn
crooked'em crotales
springing drops of meltdown sun
God hollows
and shadow balloting follows