Every single thing that I do, Every single day, I have to say “**** it”. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, I have to say “**** it”. “**** it” and Go, “**** it” and Stay, “**** it” and Speak, “**** it” and Dance. To some of you that may sound like a life full of adventures and stories, where at every opportunity I am jumping into danger and glory, but it is exhausting. I can’t do anything without have to say to myself “**** it”, pushing down all those voices and thoughts that are pointing out everything that could go wrong, everything that I could ***** up and I have to say “**** it”, those voices don’t go, those thoughts don’t magically go away until I’ve succeeded and only return once I completed this task to congratulate me on beating them, they stay there through every moment, every sentence, every step, until I either give up or finally finish, all that time, I have to say “**** it”. And this “**** it” isn’t “**** it” it’ll be okay, “**** it” I’ll get through, “**** it” no one will be annoyed at me. It’s all “**** it” It doesn’t even matter, “**** it” I don’t matter. That’s how it’s always been, How’s it probably always going to be, but recently I’ve been able to see it slightly differently, I still have to say “**** it”, but It’s not always “**** it” It doesn’t matter, “**** it” these thoughts these voices mean nothing, cause if I can still go out there and do, If I can say “**** it” and carry on even when you are screaming for me to stop. if I can say “**** it” and Go, “**** it” and Stay, “**** it” and Speak, “**** it” and Dance, even when it feels like my entire body is telling me I shouldn’t, it doesn’t mean I don’t matter, I means that everything you say and everything you have ever said doesn’t matter, It means that I can carry on through every bad thought and every shouting voice just by saying “**** it” then I can do anything, I just have to say, “**** it”
