Everything will fade away
Eventually
But I'll still be staying here
In my crumbling dream

Nothing for this ache
Ironically
Bright against the light of day
The centerpiece

For the first time, in a long time
For the very first time...

Vacate every side in space
Ironically
One last chance that we could take
Anarchy

Moth writhing in the flames
Never meant to be
Drawn up to the ledge I found
waking soulless sleep

For the first time, in a long time
Maybe for the the last time...

Take a deep breath
Sort out your answers
Take off the mask
Look through your own eyes, again
Take a deep breath
Brace for impact

Here I am
where I've been so many times before
                              nothing    is   wrong
                              yet everything is off
                              everything is wrong
My heartbeat is too fast for this to be
right,
fine,
good.
I'm
Fine.
Why does this happen?
Why do my mind and my body disagree?
There should be no inner conflict such as this
                                                            Cry
                                                        Die
                                                   Hide
                                              Abide
                                         Starve
                                   Survive
Who would want this life
the life
of a broken
individual?


me.  I do.  I am broken.  I am strong.  I am proud.  I have potential,

                                                                                           and so do you.

It's not difficult to think of stopping
when the green light is on.

******* up on an everyday basis,
when everything should be easy,
only to end up with another crisis.

Spitting out the blame on everything
instead of swallowing it down,
just to avoid the bittersweet of it all.

A bubble harder than concrete,
Tears saltier than the Dead Sea,
the waves of frustration when
expectations and reality don't meet.

Lone wolf hunting down dead leaves,
Slumped on the forest ground.
Abandoning the will to retrieve,
Giving up on the wolf that believed.

**** the perfect cups of tea.
All that's left is bitter coffee,
Not my taste but life's not sweet.
I should get used to lifting weights
and doing tons of things I hate.

Not doing well and all but I'm
trying to survive because it's
me.

The bees swarm.
They do it just to explore.
Their disturbed by a potential confrontation.
For themselves and the protection of the hive yet another righteous indignation.
They fill the combs with honey.
They stay together as a family that always tells me something.
All within my dignity.
Creatures should always be approached with caution, and I feel the fear it brings within me.
As sun helps them thrive.
They still have a struggle to survive.
On this day I just seemed to pass.
The swarm was provoked by my humble passing at last.
If you know your terrain you know your danger.
This time it was not like I was a stranger.
Although I already have a plan.
It must have been fate that shook my hand.
Though I was never stung.
My fear still lives deep in my heart for that one.
Always respect the way of our earth.
Just like with any living thing it is their choice of birth.
I am not getting into politics here.
I am just warning in nature be cautious and know what is near.
If you are someplace you do not know.
Adjust accordingly and off you go.
Just know you always need family or friends.
So seek out life’s adventures to the very end.

Looking at a sharp knife in my hand,
& me going out in midnight,
She thought I was fed up & was standing near my end,
At last frightened she asked me,
       "Do you want to die?",
I told her,
       " No, just seeking for an another
          reason to survive..."