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Lupus- May 2020
Am I the one to blame
For my insecurities and shame?
Do I cause my own pain?
Am I the reason I'm going insane?
Do I allow the pain to enter?
Am I my own offender?
Do I let myself surrender?
What do I do with no defender?

I can feel myself get worse
And yet I don't do anything to change it
I feel how I welcome the curse
And make no attempt to disarrange it

I cannot escape the monsters inside of me
I lost all hope in becoming the kind of person I wanted to be
I smother myself with fears and anxiety
I am my own worst enemy
Your own mind can end up being what hurts you the most... and you don't do anything to make it stop because what's the point, it's the truth. All the hate you show yourself, you deserve it and more
Jennifer May 2020
painted my nails, nice and
red, glossy.
smiled at the sky,
moon: silent woman in
a white dress.
slept,
eyes rolling;
sweet surrender.
Tangerine May 2020
𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒
𝒶 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓎
𝓈𝒽𝒶𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓏𝑒𝓃
𝓅𝒶𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝓇𝓊𝑒𝓁
𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝓁𝑒𝑒
rk May 2020
in the darkness i dance
crimson hair
like flames on the wind,
the moonlight
kissing my skin
wearing nothing
but midnight
i lie in wait,
surrendering myself
to the flames
for from the dark
my love has returned.
- starlight filters through the trees while the horned God chases his Queen.
Carlo C Gomez Feb 2020
You're a tree of knowledge
I'm your fallen leaf
This ground between us
So cold and stark
So waterless
I cannot survive
If ever you loved me at all
Please end this misery
By finishing me off
j Apr 2020
She is afraid.
Afraid to breath life into the thoughts
that swells, boils, and
overflows the deep depths
of her mental.
The hurt,
the confusion,
the love,
all comes out as one.

Tears.
Tears fall as what she thought were
just paranoid fears, have
taken a life of there own.
Teasing and taunting,
laughing at her sorrow.
Today has her heart throbbing
but wait until tomorrow.

When she looks into the mirror,
now staring her in the face of 一
depression or truth?
She can't decide.
She stayed silent as she allowed
whoever the presence
may be to invade my mind.
Planting her seeds,
her words acted as the water
they needed to grow.
Which would be a greater loss,
heart or mind?

It seems as soon as the girl fixed her lips
to allow her heart to speak,
and express the love she possesses for him
a few days later her heart
aches for the same reason.
As she thinks of the things
she unfortunately failed to communicate.

Though she now knows it
wouldn't have made much of a difference,
his decision was clear.
And I don't know what hurt more,
knowing that the thought of begging him
to stay was not enough to save the love
she was willing to fight for or the reality of it all.

Or maybe it was realizing that
the love he had for another was the love she was beginning to grow for him.
How scary to know you love
someone more than they do you.
He may refuse to accept it,
but there's no way he would ever
truly know how pivotal of a
role he played in her life.

It was real for her.
She never had something
so complex, yet easy.
Loving him was easy —
Smooth.
As natural as taking a breath,
as effortless as the breeze.
Would even compare it
to an everlasting high.

After landing face first from
falling through cloud number nine,
the girl placed her hand over her chest
to feel nothing inside.
Covered in armor,
decorated with battle scars.

Shifting her eyes downward
to her pulsating feet,
She is standing upon my heart.
She has surrendered.
Fell to her knees waving the flag of defeat.
Carving the initials of
her heart's captor into
her skin.
Arduino Apr 2020
My smiles are fake and sad.

Just look at the crease between the putrid corners of my lips.

Chapped and corroded.

Don't kiss me. I might infect you...
Strawberry Apr 2020
The universe appears to be in complete decline

Surrendering the matter before the storm

Lord, grant me mercy

Before I vanish,
Make me shine
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