there she hangs
my most appealing branch
bonding with a full-grown oak tree
what a fine firm fit

she enjoyed splendid foothold
one could say
according to her blooming children
far from decay

and her healthy membrane
enveloping the sturdy stem
that no wind can shake
silently screaming

pick me, pick me!
fine
I will pick you
as long as you promise me
one last time
that you will stay
firm
never let go
so I can
fit
like my head in god's bulge

as I hoist myself onto oblivion’s clasp
into the deadliest of heavens
I’m tired
untie
when you find me
untie

Claustrophobic
Cockroaches in corners
Concrete slabs
Clutching, cloaking, choking

Confined and
Constrained of a
Counterfeit life, I was the perfect
Charlatan of my encompassing separation.

Compelled into Self, oh yet
Cumbersome conditioning
Cultivating awareness within
Concentrated compression. I,

Cave!
Capitulation. Cannot withstand these
Currents of clouded
Compensation.

Comfortable in this
Chaos, as I've finally
Concluded: It comprises all of me.
Completely void

Contently
Containing nothing,
Clear from attached perceptions
Captivating Silence.

Come through me
Crawl into my
Caverns
Crash unto my shore

Caressing sensuality
       Continuously
Cascading        down, down, down
Composing my entirety.

It's not good enough
They did it better
Why can't you be like that
You're not clever

               It seems people don't believe in me
               There's no future to see
               What I want can't be
               Because I'm incapable and I agree

     If that's what they think then we'll prove them wrong
     They'll regret what they thought of us all along
     We'll succeed and make them proud
     Smash their words to the ground

People liked them more
Why can't you do the same
You're not doing it right
You're a shame

               I guess I might
               But really not quite
               There's no need to fight
               They are right

     We won't listen to what they have to say
     We're unique in our own way
     We won't be like that, we'll be distinct
     We'll be better than what they expect

               Why do you believe so
               We're useless in every way you know
               We should just let it go
               We'll look like a fool putting on a show

     We should never give up no matter what
     In their words of hatred we won't get caught
     We'll definitely be putting on a performance
     But on how we started off at the bottom
     to being the definition of importance

Je me surprenais à songer aux saveurs de l'âme
Chaque moment où j'avais le corps endolori
Je me soumettais aux tentations les plus profondes, ces flammes
C'est dans la combustion que j'ai pu savourer la vie

Je me souvenais des oublis volontaires de mes récits
Chaque peine est l'origine d'une poésie
J'évite la littérature de mes inquiétudes
C'est dans l'oubli que j'ai conforté ma solitude

Love doesn't say "excuse me"
Love finds a tiny crack
Between the walls of hatred
And then
Oh...
Then love gets in.

Comfort is nice but mundane bores
I must explore the wonders of sea
My thoughts take wings, zest soars
I set sail on my journey with glee

A crushing wave, a sudden slip
Yanking my board from under my feet
Hither tither I scramble for a grip
Boy this feels, anything but sweet

Not what I thought - no easy play
Things just aren't going my way
I look for reason, reason flees
Reason tells me meaning you’ll see

Tired of evil, tired of this ploy
I loosen my grip, I free control
In this moment, I now enjoy
The ebb and flow of the larger whole

A storm revisits, I know the drill
I'm tossed again in life's caprice
I align my will with divine will
And now I sail the winds with ease

Am I the one to blame
For my insecurities and shame?
Do I cause my own pain?
Am I the reason I'm going insane?
Do I allow the pain to enter?
Am I my own offender?
Do I let myself surrender?
What do I do with no defender?

I can feel myself get worse
And yet I don't do anything to change it
I feel how I welcome the curse
And make no attempt to disarrange it

I cannot escape the monsters inside of me
I lost all hope in becoming the kind of person I wanted to be
I smother myself with fears and anxiety
I am my own worst enemy

painted my nails, nice and
red, glossy.
smiled at the sky,
moon: silent woman in
a white dress.
slept,
eyes rolling;
sweet surrender.