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halfmoonprxnce Jan 2023
a feeling of numbness

suffering from a disease

too invisible for the eyes to see

a parasitic disease

in which its host

is unable to escape

the confines of this mind

no matter how hard they try

a precious body with a functioning heart and brain

but unable to use them to your gain

a body that never experiences happiness

an abnormal brain given by a God

who apparently conducts experiments on his children

a lingering heaviness in my mind

impossible to be removed

urges that I don't want

every day, hour, minute, second

always in a battle with your own mind

nobody there for you to confide

in


for i just want to be normal.
Help
Kellin Dec 2022
your fingers caress me
hot iron dragging
along the landscape
of my rashes
lookin for a weeping sore
prodding for satisfaction
my skin blistering
like raspberries in summer heat
Kellin Dec 2022
I was fed a lie
and as stupid as I am
I believed
and ate it up like honey
until betrayal's claw
fermented and
burst from my stomach
grabbing me by the throat
N Dec 2022
1.
The seasons changed,
but he still kept wearing
his yellow sweater during
the hottest weather

He spoke in three languages,
but has only felt the word:
Melancholy,
and the joyous absence of it

He wondered who he would be
without his suffocating sweater,
and the word: Melancholy

2.
He never uttered the word father
for it was too heavy on his tongue,
as the heavy rain on a bleak morning  

His mother loved him dearly,
or ruined him and called it love

A man has fallen in love with him,
and he felt for the first time; the
warmth of equally returned love

His lover swallowed his heart, and
told him it was the final act of love

3.
After ten years of insomnia,
he stopped measuring happiness
based on how many nights he slept,
a funeral rose in his heart as he wept

He muttered the word:
Suffering,
as if it were
a prayer,
or a lullaby

4.
Drawing road maps on his flesh
was his only consolation,
he chose the color red
to find his missing path

Scars between his thighs
as hidden treasures—
Centuries deep away from
people’s piercing gaze

5.
His new beloved was
shaped as a knife
They embraced
for the last time,
and the gushing blood
was his final act of love
Rewrite.
monique ezeh Nov 2022
i am a woman with pain built in.

lighting a candle each night & kneeling before Someone &
waiting &
waiting &
waiting.

removing a bloodied bandage & assessing the damage &
cleaning the wound &
cleaning the wound &
cleaning the wound.

washing down lamictal with stale chai tea &
lacing up my shoes &
lacing up my shoes &
lacing up my shoes.

warming unseasoned lentil soup & crying into the bowl––

i am a woman with pain built in,
ripping myself apart &
stitching the remnants back together
again &
again &
again.
KieraYale Oct 2022
I stopped writing
because I was happy.

The part of me that wanted to rip my heart from my chest
like the jaws of life just to watch it writher on the black top was gone.

Gone with it my desire to slash the caverns of my mind for some inspiration, bloodletting pain into something that could resonate with myself and maybe someone at Denny's at 4:15 a.m.

Yet like an addict I always seem to slither back to an old friend.
neth jones Sep 2022
morning
the city is gruffly petted with heat  
       buildings quiver in the primeval whither
wide mouthed and whiskered
         the catfish thrive in the sewers
taking aggression to the air and fixing to the trees
        the insects speed into vigorous breeding

in the populated afternoon    city is sternly scored    
pressed down on    its wilted fur pushed    from back to front
each itchy person   is its own greasy hair
salt beads from brows    and stinging eyes are blinded

scolded and bonded      the witless humans slow
natures patient pace is not kin to their will
          antsy
ticking noises and electric whines whittle the air
discomfort makes life immediate
       a deal to be flustered with
every enduring breath is consciously felt
       alive and in suffering

i crouch my form in shelter
a jilted couch to lean against     bordering a grown over lot
watching the foxes patrol in sweltering sun
what expected prey   brought them into the light ?
i release my hurt understanding   (it patrols also)
my hurt snakes through the long tough grass   and tacky broken glass
it moves further   raised in a mirage hover
over welting heat from the melting tarmac
this way   i please my way into nurture
this way   i ease my suffering
hum with the wires
and smile at a good day putrefying
july 2022
a sump cleansing
raiding the filth back to the surface
Water to wine and wine to precious blood
The Lord transfigures; taken at the flood,
    The dregs of outrageous fortune, once imbibed,
Will be like compost to a growing bud.  

So, drink and happy be, for all is well
In Paradise, where living waters swell
    The stilly stream by quiet pastures green,
And sheep in peace and pleasant weather dwell.
LostinJapan Jul 2022
If suffering is happiness
and tears are love
I am devotion itself
break me
I’ll pen thank you notes in blood
Chloe Jul 2022
Now you got what you wanted
My life is a waste
You got what you ******* wanted
I threw it away
You have what I gave you
I gave you my faith
Now where is my end of the deal?
Take me away

You have someone special
What did you do?
You took something from me
What have I done to you?
You just couldn’t leave me alone
I was okay!
I was fine until you took him away

You are pathetic
I hate being alive
What is so perfect
and holy about you, Christ?
Why did you save me?
I would rather die in sin
than in your vanity, you forsaking
*******

Why did you take him?
Now he can’t breathe
Why would you take him
instead of me?
I would give up my soul,
I would give up with haste
I would give you my flesh
if you just let him stay

The smell, relentless,
it swallows the air
The smell of death is disgusting
and remains in my eyes, I swear
Why would you do this?
Death, like life, is unfair
I cannot understand,
to death, I declare.
2012
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