Doom is a perilous art. I wait expectantly for the fall. It doesn't come, not yet. It's easier to feel in the dark.
I can **** my own demons. Or, at least, starve them in the corner. Experience carved armor into my skin. Theirs is still soft, squishy.
They're so blissfully oblivious. Put this snow globe moment up on the shelf. Pain doesn't have to exist anymore. I'm exhausted.  
The black hole inside my ribs swallows up everything. My chest aches in a way I'm not used to. This isn't my sadness. Is this fear?
I collect stickers and stuffies with fervor. My pockets are lined with candies to stick the pieces back together. I'm sure I'll hear it. It's not often that ten hearts shatter at once.
Gap in the picture. No matter what, they're going to feel the aftershock. Turkey basted in tears surely tastes dry. I hope October never ends.

Were vagabonds of the streets!
each one a collection of memories,
carried like a hearse on our shoulders.
Waiting to be buried in shallow graves.

Did you read every epilogue of sadness
that collected on so many brows...
Each a sentence of our life deleted
by life's eroding moments.

We could hold life in single use bags.
Never reused but fading at the handles
of life's weight. We collect like refuse
in the corners of close shutters, static.

Did you read every epilogue of sadness
that collected on so many brows...
Each a sentence of our lives deleted
by life's eroding moments.

Time is chains on the pressures of
every moment, every step reminds us
of all the mistakes that brought us here..
Life is smothering us as we sleep alone..

I thought the world would go out with chaos
and zombies, at least the walking dead,
it would be like wow.

But alas it wasn't meant to be,
it went out with silence. Well near enough.
The day before I was being my usual accidental
self, I looked right, the way the traffic was coming!

Yes I didn't look left, who knew some pensioner
wouldn't look at the road in forgotten pools
that shimmered sight on there eyes.

Look listen, look again my mother used to say..
Now as I traverse the air, I feel myself broken.
But in a flight almost unending, till I land, limply.

I thought the world would go out with chaos
and zombies, at least the walking dead would
be like wow...

But we take many steps, we walk so many in life,
then we die. but some imagine there life as continual
that they'll have footprints that will last.

As I lie here feeding the pavement my life,
every step is a chosen one. We must not waste them,
for it takes only one step to become static.

I see people rushing over to my fastening breath,
how would have thought that out of the millions
of steps I had taken this would be my last.

Watching stranger's kid playing on slides
I said to myself 'it won't last long'
The lady beside me, upset 'What?'
'The happiness' I said 'the joy in their smiles'
She stared at them, still upset 'Why?'
'They'll see the reality, and they'll know
It really is a mystery, or is a book
They climb up the ladder
And then joy ends within seconds
They slide down, happy screams
They must know the truth
It's the happiness leading to climb, again
They'll feel the value of sweat
The higher they climb, the longer they enjoy
It's really the game, they're playing right now
That creates difference and belief
To what comes next'
The lady asked 'what if a step breaks?'
'The reality has millions of slides,
better leave it and try the other one,
Or
trust himself and climb the broken
He would risk his life, but the joy will multiply
The harder they work, the sweetest they feel'
The lady asked 'where are you now?'
'I'm on the step, that might break any moment'

You said you would
               climb mountains
for our love...

But that was then..

Now you will not walk steps
                to hold my hand.
Our mountain is but a puddle.

My tears now linger untrodden...

I haven’t been able to write about you, from the moment we met. I finally feel like I figured it out. You’re different. I don’t and I can’t find the words to write about our relationship or my feelings towards you, other than that you make me happy, but I can write about what you make me think. Our course of words takes me to places forgotten and new realizations and you encourage me to pursue and keep pursuing the things I love to do. To the boy next-door, I thank you.

Para sa mga taong hindi pinili. Para sa mga taong binigay ang lahat ngunit di naman binalik. Para sa mga taong umasa. Para sa akin.

1

Sakit.

Pag nakita mo siyang kasama niya, masasaktan ka na parang bang tinutusok nang maraming karayom ang puso mo. Tapos titignan mo ang iyong sarili at sasabihin "Anong kulang sa akin?"

Makikita mo lahat nang mali sayo. Makikita mo lahat nang pangit sayo. At dahil dito mawawala ang pagmamahal at respeto mo sa iyong sarili


2

Galit.

Magagalit ka sa mundo. Magagalit ka sa tadhana dahil hindi kayong dalawa ang pinag sama. Sisihin mo siya dahil hindi ka niya pinili at iba. Pero higit sa lahat, magagalit ka sa iyong sarili. Magagalit ka dahil hindi ka naging sapat para sa kaniya. Magaglit ka dahil hindi ikaw ang naging kaniya.


3

Talo.

Wala na. Wala ka nang magagwa dahil gusto na nila ang isa't isa. Wala ka nang magagawa, silang dalawa na ang pinagsama nang tadhana at hindi kayong dalawa. Tanggapin mo na. Hindi kayong dalawa. Hindi ikaw.

Dadating ang panahon na hindi mo na siya titignan. Dadating nag panahon na hindi ka na masasaktan. Dadating ang panahon na hindi ka na magagalit.

Pero sa ngayon, dito ka muna. Dito sa isang lugar na ika'y manhid na. Manhid sa kaniya. Manhid sa sakit. Manhid sa galit. Manhid sa iyong mga damdamin para sa kaniya. Kay rami mo nang napagdaan, magpahinga ka na.