You told me this life wouldn’t pay off
You told me I would fail.
Hoping I should say.
You wanted me to become frail.
You used to tease me for being a *****
But that’s the way you made me.
This allowed you to analyze me
Poke around at me like I was a ******* lab rat.
But now that I am older
I realize that.
You were hoping that I would lay down and let you off easy,
You were hoping that I would laugh at your jokes which were so cheesy.
But I am standing.
I cant let myself die now.
You tried everything
You tried taking away my play when I was young,
Then my laughter by shunning me to my room,
Then my music and my friends
And now you try to take my dignity,
Man you have got to be ******* me.
Is it wrong to want a little respect?
After all,
I bleed the same color blood as you do.
Though I am a step son,
I try to step it up to become up to your standard.
But I am only met by pure slander.
I cant believe I am haunted by the smell of cigarettes
The bitter smell of it that lingers in your nostrils for days.
I knew that when I smelt your smoke,
You can guess who was coming.
I will never forget these scars that you elegantly stabbed into me.
I will never lose my gratitude for the bruises you have so lovingly begotten unto me.
You thought you could overtake my emotions
Treat the word abuse as easy as the word I love you
Made me constantly feel like what the **** do I do?
You
Are an evil man
You wonder why god doesn’t help you,
It is because god never meant to make a mistake like you.
And you know its true.
Dad, there have been many days I thought of you as a hero,
But then you chose to make me feel like I was on ground zero.
Im sorry I am not your real child,
But you don’t have to make fun of my family name,
Treat me so lame
Im done with you.
All these apologies are met with your broke *** analogies
And you leave me to say
Hey,
Please let me forget your actions today.
I know the thought of my success scares you,
Makes you feel suicidal,
Well how’s that for payback for making me feel homicidal?
For years I wanted run
And die
But I wasn’t brave enough, so I chose to cry.
I will never forget those memories because somehow they made me who I am today.
I am able to say that I survived, and still surviving.
Because no matter how many phone calls are made to the abuse hotline,
I still have to serve my time
In your house.
With your anger.
Whats with the term step anyways?
Like is it that I am a step down from your family?
Is it the one last step you couldn’t take so you could call mom a **** because she had a kid before you?
Because to be honest you didn’t just take my happiness, you stole hers too.
She is afraid of you, and that’s not called love.
That’s called oppression,
And you are the dictator at the pulpit.
More and more I find these writings are for you
And the question is if you really deserve my time.
So with that said,
*******
And goodbye.
for my father.
