I could sit by the blue waters, the ones that run seamlessly through my imagination for days. Hours, I could spend useless hours, worth millions to a lost soul just wandering down the alleyways of the darkest corners of my mind. Instead, I spend my time like I spend my money, I throw it towards spiral galaxies and treasures, but the unforgiving wind has its ways. Migraines. Those are the worst tricks of all time. Like punishments, they crawl up the sleeves of my soul and eat me alive. I feel that way a lot. Sometimes it’s not even a migraine, it just feels like one. It’s the gruelling existence of the daily hustle and bustle, the race to the top, or anything that has to do with a society that really twists my head into tangled knots. No matter how much “breathing” I do the antidote that is meditation only works for a second. I go outside to get fresh air, but once I reach the front step, I’m back to feeling crowded. Is that a feeling? What does it mean to feel? I don’t know, but you must understand. You must’ve felt it too. At least if you’re human you have, so have you? You know, I like to escape sometimes, but the mindfulness articles won’t tell you how. They’ll tell you to breathe. Like you’re doing right now. Try holding your breath. I heard it cures hiccups, well I read it an article. I read everything in an article. What I should eat, do, breathe, love, …feel…I read all that in those articles. You probably read them too. Anyways, I was talking about escape. Well for starters I like to close my eyes, and then envision the stars. I don’t see that much of them these days. Cars must breathe too, so they hide the stars away. But you’d rather get to your workplace then see the stars, right? The same place that makes your headache. Yeah, me too. I also read we are not the same, but I read that we are the same. I don’t know what to believe. I know what to believe. I hear you, but do you hear me? Am I yelling loud enough? Am I talking in my sleep? Oh, I know! I’ve been screaming this whole time, but in my head, on the bus…where I am quiet, so you can’t hear me scream. I think you can hear me; I see it in your eyes. You look sad, I am sad, we are all sad. You’ll never know though, because I posted a smiley face online, so now you think I’m happy. I saw you posted a video of you dancing the night away, your extravagant wedding, your new rooftop apartment, you’re probably happy. I heard you crying on the phone. I thought you were happy. Maybe I’m happier even though I’m sad. I think you’re sad, but that’s not what the articles say. They say you’re happy, you’re in Paris today! So, I believe them, cause that’s what I do. I’m a commoner, but that can’t be you. You have time, I spend time and you spend money. Keep spending, I read that you’ll be happy. I swear! I read it, online…you’ll be happy, I swear.
