There's this constant pain inside my chest
Silently lingering in your absence

You know what the biggest crime in the world
Is to love someone more than they deserve
The punishment for it is nothing but get destroyed by the very same person
Never trust a person so easily neither let go of someone so easily
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.

Dear Someone,
You wouldn't understand me
if i told you
i'd rather sit in the company of myself
and
i'd rather sit with ourselves than myself
at the same time.
You wouldn't  understand me
if i told you
why i avoided the school cafeteria
(i never had anyone to talk to)
why i always have a book open even when i'm not reading
(note to self: when alone appear as if you're too preoccupied to speak to anyone)
why i don't go to parties
(because won't my alone-ness, with-no-one-ness, loner-ness be more obvious?)
You wouldn't understand me
if i told you
i wish i didn't know what feeling alone in a crowd was
and i wish I didn't feel so distant, so not-part-of-anything
and i wish i was somebody
and i wish i knew why I always take that back.
You wouldn't understand me.
You're someone, after all.
From,
A No one who's trying to stay a No One and become a Someone at the same time

I have lost my heart even before i could give it to anyone,
Lost behind these tears that fall
Faded in empty promises and hopes
Abused and pushed beyond its capabilities
And all it wanted was lustful peace
All that is left is a cold empty bed
And a phantom feeling of someone who i will never hold again.

Always know;
Someone wants to see you smile
Not to conform to social standards of beauty and femininity
But because flowers need light and love to bloom and your happiness provides that
Always know; someone wants you to feel appreciated
Not limited to a princess’s robes and a queen’s jewels, but with the honor and honesty that a goddess deserves from those that speak her name
Always know; someone wants to see your vision manifest
Because mankind feeds on negativity, but our deliverance is in your eyes that guide the path for your lips to speak
Lips that appear so soft, clouds grow envious with each word released
Always know; someone understands what you have to offer the world
And for that will align the stars in your likeness and grow stronger in your presences, refusing all contrary notions against your name and heart
Always know; someone wants you to win
Always know; someone feels they already have by knowing and caring for you
That someone is here
That someone, always will be

Youre triggered everyday
I dont think you even care anyway
That whenever I try to explain why
You dont bother batting an eye

Youre quick to assume
So slow to say hmm
You always hit me
But never say sorry

When I do you bad
Punishment awaits
When the opposite happens
“Sorry my mistake!"

You never ponder
Why I always want to slumber
In my own world
That you always want to crumble

I came from your womb
Dont get me wrong
I respected you once
But now its almost gone

You give me blessings
I dont even ask
You show me kindness
Even though it doesnt last

I dont know if you love me
Even though you show it
But not once
have i heard you say it

Youre very kind to me
But hardly understand me
I dont know if youre for real
Or you just want to play me

It hurts to doubt
I cant say it from my mouth
My love for you is in drought
And i think its about to run out

I dont want to do this
It hurts mecto do so
But i need hope
A reason not to let go

To continue
Even though it hurts
To try
That My hope for you will convert

I can still feel you in our sons soft touch
That's the side of you I miss so much
I still see parts of you during his bath time
Lol, It is what it is even if it don't sound right
I can still hear your voice on SoundCloud if I want to
But when he coo's or cries it's better than the truth
I can still smell your fade too some days
Brushing his hair while he patiently lays

i loved you
because you loved me
but that isn't even
all of it
you were so special to me
you were, you were
i'm not sure why
but you were