Some times i feel like a husk ripped up and smashed into dust, its so ****** up i dont have any luck it *****. I can’t break bend crack or snap because the whole place will fall down like that. I can’t show tears for my fears or all i hold dear may disappear. this world may be a hell but under the dust in this ****** place i dwell there is a well that this shell can drink from. when you drink the waters of life your whole life can change like that. I’m a husk i dont know if i can make it to dusk but i must.

Cardboard doubles
as shredded sheets
"Spare a little change,
trying to make ends meet
Just seeking refuge
from the cold and sleet"

Well, the Savior didn't have a place
to lay His head
So maybe they're closer to Him
than I am

But people see the signs
All they do is stare
Wonder, what's he done
and where's she been?
I couldn't cast the stone
cuz my record ain't clean

No one gave me
the judgement rod
And you, sir, don't look like God
Driving by
rolling up your windows and
down your nose
"Probably for drugs,"
your judgments say
"Lazy *** will
squander it away"

As if you and I
never fail, please don't forget
we've just been given
a better circumstance,
missed some unfortunate
happenstance
Do you squander love?
Waste your privilege?

We're all the same
Skin bones and blood
And I know I'm
begging for change
on the streets of human love
Forgetting I've been given grace
from the Divine
Covered by love that looks like
water blood and wine

Maybe my friend
the "homeless ***"
is really a bit closer
to the One

and there you sit
curled up in a chair
with knees beneath
your chin, sipping
your hot coffee
oblivious to the world

tuned out the world
tuned into the fantasy
of a perfect unknown
world-
reality becomes an
evaporated puddle
under the sun

let the passers-by wonder
what thoughts
are running through your head
you'll never know
you'll never trust

so there you sit
Alone.

What is happening to the world?
People are killing,
children are dying,
and we are just sitting.

There's not much to do. There's not much to give.

I understand.
But have we forgotten about our mouths? The mouth that God gave us, and the mouth that God is taking away from an innocent child?

There's not much to do. There's not much to give.

But have we forgotten of our hands? The hands that God gave us, the ones that God is taking away from an innocent, helpless teenager?

There's not much to do. There's not much.. to give.

What about our heart? The ones we're so caught up in filling it up with another person's words, empty. The heart that is stopping due to a fight with a fellow citizen.

It only takes a prayer. All you need is your hands, head and heart in it.
There's so much to say, and so much to think about.

That really can be good enough.

Clasp your hands together and stop thinking about the money you're losing, for just a minute. And cherish your family, cherish your fortune, and friends.


Cherish.

**And never stop thanking.

We share a room. The light from her iPod stopped bugging me after a while.
We took out the bunk bed after we decided to be grown ups.
On a double matteress we gather hours of rest,
Our bodies barely touch or coil together
Just the breathing sounds we make in our sleep states are comforting enough.
When we hear a bump, we consult each other of whether we should leave the room or just go back to bed.
She started asking me to cover for her.
So mom wouldn't know what she was up to.
Mom trusts us as we would hope. And we hardly break that trust.
Life stopped being complicated for me.
It's like it began anew,  
Unfolding
Straightening paths
Smoothing the crinkles in each sheet that layover my little body
The bends disappeared, crusted confrontations
Forgotten.
I met him from a great friend of mine. We argued over something silly.
He called me after I explained I was upset.
I beat myself over the dry branches of thick trees
Scolding myself. Insulting myself.
I did nothing but remind myself of my exclusive habits to handsome men.
But he visited me and upon that spree of him skipping class, he was beautiful like the men. So I thought maybe, in the back of my mind, that I could explore him like the others and relieve him and myself of whatever we were clinging to.
He was clinging to something short of sadness. Much like grief.
And he explained that I was good and shouldn't place myself in a damp hole when the sun is capable of more than being bright and warm.
So we spoke and lay together in my bed resisting silly things.
Sitting up together he is ready to leave he says 'I'm glad I skipped class today.'
He kisses me. Telling me that he isnt interested in much else.

My mouth is filled with sweet smells, bitter tastes. This boys limbs quake, heart punching rib bones as fast as man boy can take, his glasses tremble to his skin too. Everything sticks slowly. I can see the ceiling moving. The shadows against its popcorn texture. I can hear my mother clicking her mouse by the computer. He breathes in, pupils enlarge almost as loud as an animals shriek.

I think I twitched.
My sister forgot to make the bed that day.
And I'm glad becaus he doesn't make his bed either.