Tick And tock
Like a metronome
My head keeps tapping as I stay awake
My mom snores, I can hear her growling through the walls,
As my imagination begins to creak and groan
Please sleep, stay in,  don't go wandering on your own.
My head would like to roam
In dream land once again,
But you've gone out for the night it seems
Like a Fairweather friend.

I wish mr. Sandman would stay for awhile, but it seems as though that isn't happening.
I'd be thankful for a nightmare because I haven't slept all week
Oh wait I don't think I wanna sleep while someone's slashing

I never meant you to know me
I never meant to let you in

Bright pale eyes and
long fair hair

She was a born
adventurer with a
rebellious flare

Insomniac,
she came by the lake
every night

Shining like a
torchlight
against the moonless sky

She wondered how life
was like on the
other side

And curious by heart,
she decided to find out

Stepping into the cold
black water, the air
was dead still

In the eerie silence,
she boldly
started to swim

With graceful
strokes, she approached the
opposite shore

But halfway the freezing lake,
her body could suddenly
move no more

Wide-eyed and
panicking, her cries for help
echoed in the open

Sinking, flailing
limbs and screaming 'til her
lungs grew swollen

Drowned,
she never reached the other
end of the lake

But in the nearby
village, an identical girl
still lives today

Bright pale eyes and
long fair hair

Nightgown dripping wet

upset tummy after a night of liquor
while I stayed in, unable to eat, getting sicker -
I can't hold down a bite,
my stomach won't have mercy on me.
Dry heaves,
wet tears
and a bed I wish wasn't empty.
it's night like these
I wish for my mother's womb -
a warm, dark place fit for the likes of me.

I don't know what I'm doing,
but it feels a lot like drowning.
being with someone
can feel scarily like -
you're holding your own hand.


I fear the morning,
because I'm afraid you'll leave in the night.
(That's how they all go.)

fall out boy is always
in season
rain or shine
sweat or tears

i honestly get
tired of having
problems but
doesn't everyone?

i'm escaping
stumbling into some
false reality on the other
side of my mind's eye

sometimes i get to thinking
about alcohol and
cigarettes and i get scared
for who i'll turn into someday

and sometimes
when i can't sleep i play
what a catch donnie
on repeat until i cry

"said i'll be fine
til the hospital or
american embassy"
gets me every time

leaves an actual pain
in my stomach
the ache of something
i want more than anything

to die
or leave
to no longer be
choked

convulsing on the
scratched wooden floor
legs twitching and
forehead sweating

i can't breathe
and it's not just
the humidity
it's the thoughts

it's the scars that are
too new to talk about
and the ones
too old to care about

eyelashes are
scraping irises
hands are
always sticky

how pain
is normalized
and anxiety
just happens.

the song is over
play it again
shuffle and repeat
until sleep

i should have stayed home
i always should stay home
but i don't like
home anymore

i never did like home
and it's mostly because of
who i find there
when i'm all alone.