natalie 6d
"traveling swallowing dramamine
feeling spaced breathing out listerine
i'd said what i'd said that i'd tell ya
and that you'd killed the better part of me
if you could just milk it for everything
i've said what i'd said and you know what i mean
but i still can't focus on anything
we kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves"
Dramamine - Modest Mouse
  Apr 13 natalie
full stomach, aching chest
i try again to push my fingers through the screen of my phone
(i just want to brush my fingertips against yours while we call)
i am full of desire
for conflict = love vs. lust, joy vs. death
i'm not quite sure what i want some nights,
but i always want to be next to you

love poems make me nauseous sometimes, looking back at all the past ones i wrote thinking the feeling might last
but naively, perhaps, i'll say that you feel very different  
i'm not afraid either way...
(okay. afraid of losing you, too)
  Apr 13 natalie
4am, why am i so angry?
the usual mistake of thinking i want to die when in reality i just want to curl up and stick my head into his rib cage,
blink with his beating heart,
rest for a while and come back ready
to take on each day,
a little extra protection
  Apr 13 natalie
i miss you
steady guitar riff in a loop
tucked behind my ear
you trace your fingers there
i fall asleep with a smile
natalie Apr 9
sweet wonderful you,
you make me happy with the things you do.
oh, can it be so?
this feeling follows me wherever i go.

don't don't break the spell.
it would be different and you know will.
you, you make loving fun.
and i don't have to tell you but you're the only one.
You Make Loving Fun - Fleetwood Mac
natalie Apr 9
i used to love you sober.

               i've been high for days.
natalie Apr 9
fuck modest mouse.
fuck your stupid pandora station.
fuck your music.
fuck your good taste in everything.
fuck your charisma, for making me love you so much.
fuck your purple hair.
fuck your blue striped sweatshirt.
fuck your beautiful smile..
fuck you.
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