What do you want to read ?
When my heart is heavy with sorrow
i pour my blood
and convert it into ink.
Then, you shower love on me.
You tell me my writing is like wine,
elegant,
beautiful.

Yet when i feel nothing
but happiness
and i pour my heart
onto your feet
you brush it away.
You don't connect to me
and now you don't shower love.
"Your writing is like wine,
elegant,
beautiful,
poisonous."

You don't accept happy
because you don't connect to it.
You flow like the rest
in an ocean filled with grief.
You use me like a mat
and i serve you
waiting for that one day
you clean your sins away.

There are many sins I've committed in my time. I've exchanged hurtful words and I've lied. I've hurt others for my own betterment and I've stabbed others in the back. I thought it was fine and minimal to what others had done to me.

After all, how bad could I be when others had whipped me, threatened my life, beat me, broke my heart, and stabbed me in the back. Why did they deserve my mercy? Why did they deserve my forgiveness? Why did I have to be better than them?

They didn't deserve it. Why should I have to be a shining example? Why should I have to be above the rest? I didn't want that life, nor did I want that stress. Shining examples is what we're supposed to be, right?

Well, here's MY shining example. Don't keep pushing yourself for the approval of others. Their opinions don't matter anymore. Be yourself and stand up strong. You got a long road ahead of you, so find what makes you happy and do that. Don't ever try to change yourself for other's approval; That will just hurt you more.

And when they don't approve of you now that you've conformed to their standards? Then what? Are we just expected to move as if nothing's wrong and we're perfectly fine? And, what if we can't? We're not like a machine that functions without flaws; We're humans and have emotions and can be hurt.

We can still be hurt.

Your sins
- forgiven
Christ is
RISEN

You could have numbed the pain
but instead I turn to whiskey.

I drink away the sins and pain
I wonder if you miss me.

You left but it's unclear why
there is nobody here to get me through it all.

So I drink myself unholy
and pour my heart out onto the table.

I still feel your hands on my body.
I still hear your words.
I still smell your scent.
I still feel as helpless as I did 6 years ago.

The world is evil.
No lesson taught about it.
No way to prevent it.
"Boys will be boys"
No second thoughts about it.

"No wonder, your skirt is too short"
"What were you wearing?"
"Why didn't you scream louder?"
"Why didn't you fight harder?"

Almost every woman I have met
Has had their bodies stained and tossed to the side,
Almost every woman I've met still is kept up at night,
And like myself,
When they are sobbing in their bathtub,
They wonder "why is this world so cruel to us?"
"If God is a man, does he think it's okay too?"
And as they are held captive by the unfair burden of his filthy sins,

they scrub their skin, desperate to wash his touch away.