There are so many things
So many reasons
Why I should care
About life
About people
Things that I can't learn to care about

I am a shut in
Alone and dry
But I never lonely
For my shadow
Holds me in the night
My reflection
Gives me conversation
I am my own source
Of entertainment

So many times
I've tried to reach out
Tried to be social
Tried to change my
Very way of thinking

But the darkness
As it lulls me to sleep
It ***** me in
Where I will forever be

If only I could lock my lips shut,
Toss the key into the deepest well
And pray nobody ever finds it
So I may hide away in my hell.

Each word that leaves my tainted lips is
Drenched in a poison designed to ****;
If not ****, it'll torture you worse
Than death itself, against my own will.

I wish I exhaled an angel's breath,
My true intentions are genuine
However, there's a demon sitting
On my tongue that always seems to win.

Everything about you and everyone you know
What you had for breakfast and where you plan to go
Who you call and what you say and precisely where you are
Every visit to the doctor, the mileage on your car

The books you like, the food you buy, the bloggers that you read
How much you gave to charity, your attitude to ****
Every contact, every text, every on-line search
The way you dress, the way you walk, the last time you went to church

No none of this is private now; you're an information source
Of interest to the agencies of order, law, and force
It's for the common good - no really! Can't you see?
And this discussion now, it's over; it's about security

And while we're on the subject, someone really oughta
Keep an eye on her next door; at least until we've caught her
And be mindful what you wish for, now thought-crime's here to stay
But hey! It's Britain not North Korea!  Just mind how you go, OK?

Oh you have to hand it to the creeps - they've diligently been sifting
Not through your bins or bank account when ALL your data lifting
They've no need for tricks or subterfuge since you handed them the keys
You let them in unwittingly, and at the time, were pleased

So now you're pinned and wriggling on their glass one-way wall
You've no more secrets hidden 'cos you've given them them all
Privacy is dead and buried, too late now for bereavement
You slaughtered it yourself:  End User Licence Agreement

It's too late too for tin-foil hats, too late to complain
And anyway, how would you? You've forfeited this game
Join the Twitterati? Start a Facebook page?
Tell your mates on WhatsApp?  All adds more padlocks to your cage

P'raps best not to think too much about it; Yes that's the easy call
Lie back and LOL at kittens, watch Gogglebox, but actually think sod all
Yes buy your Funeral Insurance – it's acquired a curious appeal
And accept, why not, the Kardashians might actually be real

With opinions now as changeable as your boxer shorts
Grey and saggy throwaways, masquerading as your thoughts
You got the lot in Primark's sale, with your knickers and your socks
And you feel freer now than ever, inside your tiny airless box

And that's the way we like it; your illusion of control
Costs us little and lets us rule you in body, heart and soul
So make no waves, do not stand out, enjoy your bread and games
Don't try to dodge the system or we'll cast you to the flames

“Nothing to hide, then nothing to fear” is something you've no doubt heard
But those who shout it loudest know best that it's absurd
So peer behind the curtain, examine every single word
   Because you know they've cracked it... yes finally cracked it...
     The polishing to perfection -  to immaculate, flawless, gleaming perfection - of
Every
Single
****

It's ironic that the only statement soaring through my mind is the query as to how I may shut this thing off...

she stands still
with her eyes steadily
tracing the whisps of
air that circle in front of
her
her hands quivering
and yet her vision is so
solid
dense, cold memories
are leaning at the tip of
her tounge
but her lips won't budge.
she hears the words
letter by letter-
they just don't get why
she can't just 'socialize'-
why she's so independent
she's so quiet
she's so isolated-
but what i don't get is that
you dare to label her "shy"
and yet you don't even know
what she's hiding from

I close my eyes and count to ten,
I try to count sheep; those *******.

The haunting thoughts keep me up,
I'm exhausted but restless.

I try and try to keep my eyes shut,
Then once again I fail.

Maybe I'll sleep better in this position,
I think as I roll over.

Thoughts race through my mind
And continue to keep me up.

The good, the bad, and the ugly,
They all have the same effect.

The pillow is too hot, time to flip it,
Yeah, I'm sure this will help.

But I can't sleep because my life is
A living nightmare.

Sometimes she gets scared of how happy he is being alone. How he enjoys the times when he would just prefer to be with himself rather than be with people.

"Know what? You value the time you have for your self so much that you tend to shut people out sometimes."

"It's not that I shut people out, it's just that I think its better to not need other people in your life. You may want them earnestly, but never need them so you won't get disappointed. You won't get left behind."

Silence.

"Does it count as selfishness?" He wonders.

"In a way, I think. It's like you're too scared to let someone into your life or feel the intensity of their presence embedding into your own. And, not everyone's going to leave you behind."

It scares her to think that he might not be capable of truly loving someone.

He leans closer.

"I guess I prefer wanting than needing. I'd rather someone choose me to be part of their life because they want me to be there. And it'll be the same for me. I'd be part of their life because I want to be, not because I am obligated to pacify their or my need until we eventually choke each other with our exiguousness. I know, it's pretty hard to explain, considering the line between the two is relatively thin, but I just don't really want them to be troubled by someone like me."

She looks at him, and their eyes meet.

"But I do. I wouldn't mind if the trouble was you."

**