She’s always walking away
And at a pace that’s too fast for me
And even though I walk alone
And rather quickly
She is always walking steadily
Away from me

Today I dug and shoveled away, at an old box, at an old sin.

And upon finding it, I opened it, and stared at its contents. The realization stored within.

For inside I found the truth in this:

"That you can stare at the monster all you want, but in your future, don't ever let yourself desire his life, or become like him."

Not ever, not once, or ever again. But instead be reminded of who he is and how he is. And why also, such things exists, within this life.

Don't embrace the monster locked away. But be a better man. Be more than this. For that is the truth which I found in this.

The heavy patter of the rain
Reflects the pattern of my heart
In weariness
In longings last
How I've waited for this storm to pass
Most patiently
Slowly pouring out
With a cooling voice
Till I calm myself
And yet so much more than the afterstorm
Which I must create
Everytime I've felt
The need to be
More than this old me
This rainsoaked version of the self

Some days my heart feels heavy with it
The distant want
The growing fear

The way it is but will not stay
For the remainder of these
More youthful days

My heart is this
Alone
But not at last

Instead how it wanders
Through fields of idealism
And lets you pass

With every conscious moment
In this
How I dream of you and let you pass

Iron
Wood

Oak
And stone

Ash
Glass
And wax unwound

How all will melt
And all will burn
Long before his heavenly throne
Reveals itself forever more

Because we are the human
And he is the God

He reveals himself in ways
Most unknown

His structures are that of pure existence
Carved out of matter we cannot imagine

He is unlike us
He is everything
Beyond our frail and fragile bones

Would you find me a girl with the bravery and boldness of a Coraline Jones's heart?
Not someone who demands my attentive love or the backing of a musical score.
But someone real.
Someone who knows every deep and dark and shallow fear.
Someone particular and peculiar.
Who perhaps I can make a cheese omelette for.

When it comes to fire
Within my arms
I will crash and burn and rebuild myself

Because I am
Because I was
And because I have yet to become someone else

All that I can be
All that I wasn't
All that I do is because I must

Its not owned by this
The want or wont
But because I will regret it if I don't

I have been focused and growing
I have been strong
But now I see it's not the time
Nor the place
To build you a house
Or a home in which I belong

In this world of socialness and social media there can only be one God. And he does not share, comment, like or retweet.

My ears are open
My eyes are to the sky
God I will try
But help me let this go
If I must