Couldn't eat so
I smoked a cigarette,
now all I've got is shallow satisfaction,
bad breath.

But I'll pick my scabs, just to
remind myself,
Pick my scabs
as if I could find myself
finger-deep in my own left thigh.

Missed you today,
I turned the TV on so I wouldn't
feel alone, and
let reality slip
away.

And I pick my scabs to remind myself,
Pick my scabs to encourage better health
And I pick my scabs so I can know they're healing

I always fell in love with
moments, never with the man.
I danced through stars to
love songs I couldn't understand

And I pick
my scabs, just to remind myself
And I pick my scabs,
just to pretend to know
how scars are birthed from blooming skin

Pick my scabs like I wish I
could crack apart my shell,
let it shatter
let it shatter

But you can't see it, so to you it doesn't matter.

Flesh will always lie, but my keloids will remember.

Bitter past will grasp upon you
but surviving is what matters.

So I,
pick my scabs
to remind myself

One more scar..One more bad memory..

I'd give you my last breath to hear you say my name again.
Because nothing sounds sweeter on your lips.
And drowning in your eyes would be such a beautiful disaster but I'd drown just by choking on my lungs full of love for you.
You haunt me.
My dreams are filled with you.
My nightmares plagued by you.
And my life is nothing without you here.
I feel that it's not this hard for you.
And you don't feel guilty for taking my breath away.
You hinder my breathing.
But you're the crutch to my heart.
The one that fell apart over you.
Over me.
Over you.
And I tried to heal so many times.
A scar remains for every attempt at a new resolution.
But no matter which path I take,
No matter which direction I walk in,
They all lead me back to you.
There is no escaping the inevitable.
And nothing else ever compared to home.
Well you're home to me.
And that's where I want to be.
When I leave your side I'll be lost again.
And I'll never be where I'm supposed to be without you.
And I love being with you but the knowledge that I have to leave is killing me even when you're in my arms.
I want to give you everything you want.
Because when I'm not here I can't
And I know you're not mine.
You're so quick to tell me.
But no one will ever love you this good.
This much.
No one will ever know you like I do.
So they'll never be able to love those parts.
I'm not perfect.
I never professed to be anything more than average.
But my love for you is so much more than that.
My love for you has no expiration date.
It will even exceed mine.
It will only ever get better with time.
With age.
And maybe you'll say goodbye again.
And maybe you'll come back to me.
But I know I'm not going anywhere.
I'll always be right here.
So if you ever want to come to me,
If you ever want to steal my last breath,
take it.
I'd give you anything I had.
I always would.
I always will.
I know you always knew that.
I know you'll never doubt it.
My heart will always be yours.
And you can deny it to your grave but I'll always have a tiny piece of your heart too.
I know you love the way I love you.
Know I'll never ever stop.
Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know where to begin.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
But there's no rainbow without a storm.
And I'd never erase you.
I'd rather have heartache and memories than not have you at all.
You'll always be my rainbow.
You'll always be my storm.
And I'll always be the wind that will carry you through it all.

i thought you were different
when you didn’t leave any scars

but instead,
you opened up the old ones
and thought i wouldn’t notice

until i found myself lying on the floor,
wondering why i was bleeding again

i was always told to hide
my scars

under long sleeves
in the heat of summer
with long skirts
and opaque layers

no one can see
for the questions they’ll ask
i can't answer

because these scars

they are signs of vulnerability
each one tallying
a moment of defeat
another battle lost

more casualty
though the blood no longer
stains my skin

but me, myself, and I
am a sign of perseverance
i still breathe
and run and jump

i’ve endured the war
each scar tallying
a moment of survival
another fight won

so don’t tell me to hide
my scars

i wear each one proudly
medals of honor
and the questions you’ll ask

i’ll answer and say
"Yes, my scars are still here,

but so am I.”

I will rip my veins apart
and then my mind will be at peace
for a while

My wrist will pour blood
I need it to bleed
or bead

I am counting the seconds
till this can happen
5..4..3..2..1..

I am now content
with the results
but I'm getting dizzy

I can hear sirens
the sound is getting stronger
is it coming for me?


(lcb)