INTERLUDE

“Don’t you ever get tired of being the savior?”
“Because I don’t think anyone will ever love you properly anymore”

PRELUDE

All you ever needed was someone to stop you from being hero.
Someone to tell you to break down and help you not feel hallow.
Who’s here to watch you?
To tell you that “I’m your shoulder to cry on”

Who’s there to protect you.
Guide and wrap you tight in the softest hugs?
To embrace your broken battered soul and help you feel less empty?
Why must your strength force you to pay the price so hefty?

DREAMS

“Give me the chance to not only be your protector but your lover. Let me Take care of you, let me be the one to do all that you have done, I know your soul is broken, that your mindset is shattered. So give yourself to me and gladly allow for my catering”

REALITY

All that should be
Yet here lies my ego. Standing tall, representing pride.
While my soul wilts and my heart darkens to my reality.

“I’m not worth saving”

Poems are like a safety relief valve.

In them we can say
what we would never say aloud.

In them we can
  curse,
    cry,
      love,
        hate,
          destroy,
            and create.

All those feelings and actions
we never show in real.

Poems are like a safety relief valve
and they are saving lives.

The future won't find my love letters
Just texts trapped in old phones
Emails stuck on old hard drives
Maybe a password protected server

My grandchildren won't find our video chats
Even if they were recorded
All I have for them is passwords
Saving my love in clouds

The future won't know the details of how much I loved you

I had to find my healing
So I went back and found you.
Waited for you to call my name
and I'd as If my demons could come too.
Cause they were always the third party
The uninvited crew.
You'd undress me with your smile
and I figured I could stay a while.
In this mess called loving.
Cause it hurt to be out there on my own.
I didn't have a place to call home.
More like the home I had couldn't make room for my demons and me too.
So I found myself coming to you.
Broken and bleeding.
Cut tongue but still pleading.
That maybe you could be my healing.
- K.B.

Both feet on the ledge.
Looking down onto the ground below,
Knowing that one more step could end a life.

I know I will be free from danger,
You will catch me.
I will be saved.

But I took that step and I fell.
I fell, knowing you would be there,  
Knowing I would be unscathed.

I thought I would be free from danger,
You would be there to catch me.
But I wasn’t saved.

It comes natural.
To want to save time as well as money.
We incur convenience.
Readily available to what we long most.
It occurs quite often.
The constant clipping and saving.
In search of the best deal.
Not taking into consideration that we might be short changing ourselves.
The shredding and discarding of things we don't use.
The big brand we call love.
Thought to be so expensive.
We spend in the product of smiles.
Manufacturing the ounce of time it takes to show how much we care.
The exchange of one thought to another.
Extreme couponing to get the best value of ourselves.
Perhaps without proof of purchase.
We tear ourselves at the lines.
Refined in swift passing.
Saving all the coupons in search of a bulk that satisfies all craving.
Consumers without guarantee.
Constantly clipping and saving.
Rearing ourselves at the line.
A coupon exchanged in saving for a kiss for later

I don't believe in a prince wearing his armory, slaying the princess' dragon, saving the princess, and living happily ever after together

I believe in the princess wearing her own armory, slaying her own dragons, saving herself , and living her own happily ever after

I was your fuel
You were my drain
I was your blessing
You were my lesson
I was your cure
You were my disease
I was saving you
You were killing me

- I was calming your soul, you were stirring mine