You are nowhere to be found
among greens and visits,
your stillness remains,
I cannot move you away,
your water flows everywhere,
supplying more,
maybe receiving less,
You are the Great River.

I follow your calm rushing sound,
letting myself be drag by your trail of rescues,
in front of total loss,
I may or may not lose you.

You rise and lay with the sky,
harmonising with everybody else,
I should have no doubts,
you reflect the magnificent Man.

They keep meeting your beauty,
ending the day with bittersweet conclusion,
thanking and cursing time,
"we have the Great River."

A new day has dawned, the clocks have changed
Lost an hour sleep, and my body found it strange
Now on daylight savings time
Confused this wee mind of mine
Why not leave it alone, it confuses people's brains?

I try to spit my heart out
To the side of my bed,
Double over and ***** out the memories
Every time I think of you,
So that every time the door opens
It wipes into a bigger score,
When we tried to be good to you,
Remember but, we were not.

And I wonder how
How do we fail so gloriously
When we see the hurt
As clear as the oversized neon signs,
Piling over each other
Over bulky building
Crafted with fragile glass
And sharp corners,
Rusted bars colored twice.

We try to save a few
But **** so many,
We make wider roads
"Four ******* lanes" we boast,
But we tear down homes.
And every time I served you
I thought of your brothers
We stole you from
And I pray they be good
But how will they
Since you were gone?

And I stare at butterflies with awe
But run from the worms,
They make me itch and swell
I cannot help,
And I know, I know
Why we fail so gloriously
And yet try so miserably
To save others.
Why, did you ever see the sorrow
In the sky when she pours
To refill the oceans she emptied,
And we dare to think
We will save others
To save ourselves.

And all that I remember
Is that it was I who killed you.

I'm a neighbourhood ******
of truth, I'll inject everyone
                               of you,
The needle isn't contaminated  
with untruths, the only thing
I inject within you is the truth..

Wannabe,
                false fashion,
                                          ripoff
that has only one place when
used up by those whispering
in ears like a messiah, of false
prophesies of riches that only
cloth the pockets of would be
rules of a patch that is never
                   theirs just a mirage of power..

I've been spat upon,
                            I have holes!
Of my consequences that others
have vented upon me from afar.
But I'm the neighbourhood
                                           ******
injecting truths, saving lives
          that would be caskets
                             silently cried upon.

Your heart is so big. The capacity within it; seemingly endless. It is filled with caverns, rooms, channels and layers. Stories and ideas, songs and poems, memories soaked in pain yet dipped in beauty. Whispers and giggles and shrieks and howling and melodies and moans all resonate in the halls and leak through on the wind. I stand, gazing at this labyrinth that is you. And there is an adventurous part of me that aches to explore its depths; to know every variety of yourself within. I approach, grimacing as I reach out one hand, and hesitantly knock on the gate of its great walls. My breath is held; hoping for acceptance, dreading rejection. I know you may not wish to, but you must share all this with someone. Have you heard what happens to those who refuse to open their doors? To trust? They barricade themselves in this endless mansion and become lost within. They are alone. And when they walk into a dark room and the door closes behind them, no one is there to hear their cries; to open the door and pull them back into the light. That is why I have been sent to you. The keeper of your heart has searched me and known my ways. He has deemed me not only worthy of your trust, but necessary. So please, let me in. Open the gates. As each second ticks by, slower than the last, I begin to fear I have been shunned. This is my calling. My purpose. My own heart has finally had the doors flung open, the walls torn down, and the contents are flooding out; a raging hurricane of myself finally set free. I need somewhere for that flood of me to go. If I try to hold it in any longer, I will burst: shatter. Please! Take my love! I will trade you. I beg you for your burdens. I long for your loneliness. I will share your scars and love your longing. Let. Me. In. At last, movement. The rusted gates groan in protest as they are forced open after so many years of stoic rejection: standing unmoved. They grate far enough apart for me to squeeze through and dart inside. I am met by endless corridors, vast hallways lined with doors leading to every emotion, experience and thought you have ever dwelt on. Golden rays of sunshine behind one door, a forest full of giggles and children and innocence. I run and laugh with those sweet young faces, caressed by the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. Behind the very next door, I am plunged into a blackness deeper than a clouded night. I fall into a deep pit, landing on jagged rocks and shards of broken hopes. Crouched in the corner, trembling and alone, with tear streaks down their face, is you. My heart swells in my chest, and I know: this is the moment for which I have been prepared. I kneel before you, taking your cold hands in my own. Our Father wants you to come home now. Follow me. You are terrified; I see it in your frantic glances. But here, I have something that will help. I am entrusting you with my own heart, here in the depths of your own. Let the hope I have received be a light in this darkness. Let my trust and vulnerability inspire your own. I couldn't hold it back anymore even if I wanted to. And with that, the last piece of my wall crumbled down. An outpouring of love, peace, joy and hope flooded the pit, filling it to overflowing. We sailed out into the sunlight, hand in hand. As we ran into the meadow, our eyes looked up and locked with the Father’s. And as we were swept into his embrace, our hearts were made whole for the first time. I glanced at you, my kin, hopefully expectant of the life we would share: in the light.

I felt like a doll,
emotionless and all.

I was able to move and talk and think but,
I'm not there, not really.

I looked out of the window and watched the people on the streets.

Some looking happy and excited,
whereas some looked bleak.

I felt like a layer of glass was
seperating me from the world.

It was hard to explain but what I wanted to do was for someone to help me.

They'd ask me if I was okay and I would look at them and say, "No. Not really."

But I know they'd flinch away from the fact and silently roll their eyes,

That I was another lying person,
Who would fake a smile but have problems for miles.

This time, however, it's a little different.
For I'm the person who helped others who fell,
When I'm the one who needed saving most of all.