No matter how friendly I stay...
My mom always has another way...
She points at all my bad stuff...
And I know that I'm sometimes rough...
But she goes over the line...
I'm trying to clean myself so that I can shine...
And I believe that I'm making some progress...
But in her eyes, I always make a mess...
I don't mind if she helps me here and there...
But it is like she points everywhere...
I don't mind if my brother plays with the stuff I throw away...
But whatever I say...
They'll never understand or see...
The soft pain inside me...
I know my brother is still just a child...
But he goes wild...
I don't want to see how he destroys...
My old toys...
But no one cares a thing...
Except for my King...

You take everything
she said,
everything.
I thought long and hard
about all the things I had
and all the things that
I can barely touch
and all the things that collect dust
and I thought about her fingers
reaching for things she thought
I held over her head
reaching up out of the waves
of the shadow her heart slept in.

if only you knew how dangerous I was,
a poisonous cloud infecting everything;
would you still weep for me then?
tears soft
and hands rough
but these touches gentle

they warn you
how I cut-
thorns on a rose,
the tighter you grasp
the more it hurts;
so drop me

except,
you always return.
am I that alluring?
worth all this pain?
if you think so
then stay....

Lately I've been struggling
I got kicked and the rest of the world took it as an opportunity to pile on
I see my chance to take a breath
I pull the air hard into my lungs
I don't get the chance to exhale before I get kicked again
It becomes a cycle I try so hard to break free from
What did I do wrong?  Why can't I get a break?
I don't know how many more times I can take the kick before I stop taking that chance to breathe again

I'm a rough tough *******
But believe me I didn't grow up like this
Well life was easier then
Just follow the footsteps of big strong men
And there's nothing wrong with that
The only problem is it's a dogs world and you're a cat
Cats are good cats are kind
But sometimes I like to think with my own mind
And so when dogs will shut you out, shut you down
Some might simply frown
But as I mentioned before I'm rough tough strong and mean
And when I'm ****** i'm less like a cat more like a machine
And it didn't come quick I spent years in doubt
Just trying to figure it out
What made me different what made me a freak
And that's how I spent week after week
Doubting and dissing and hating myself
Until it stared destroying my mental health
And I was tired of hating I needed a rest
So I worked to become the best of the best
I'm not a cat nor a dog I'm sure you can see
I'm a very special breed, I'm me
And maybe I'm not the very best of them all
But you can bet your *** I'll be the last one to fall
So at the end of the day I don't ask that you fall to your knees
Simply step aside while I do as I please
Cause I'm a rough tough *******
And I'm done listening to what men have to pitch