Sapphic sapphires glisten in the moon
These ladies say that Hades makes them as dry as a sand dune
Maleficent and Cruella mark their spells on their heads
And quietly they tiptoe and sneakily their treads-
Move with a rhythm only grace can create
Enchanting are these women, seeing them is fate
To be an audience member to their auras and their moves
Is an opportunity that is divine, spiritually proved
Indigo in color, L words leave their lips
Straight and curvy bones and fat   vibrate from their hips
They mesmerize, they enchant, they let their inhibitions soar
Until they dance away, unhinged, and you can't see them anymore
Remember this encounter, it is one that will inspire
It will make you feel a type of way, it will ignite a fire

I'm awake, no sleep in sight
5:45am. The cogs keep turning and the fog keeps burning and I find myself
Wide eyed. In love.
I inhale the darkness with every breath, breathing deeper than usual
I inhale this smoke with a vengeance
Fresh air. For once in my ******* life I feel whole
Is it you?
Is it the shade?
Is it the love we made?

Don't make me go to sleep because I know when I wake it will be gone. Let me stay. Let me soak. Keep me woke.

I feel the bumps on my skin echo underneath my fingertips
I try to resist the urge to peel my face off
To pour blood onto the floor as I become who I believe
But at what cost?
To become an unknown version of myself seems beautiful at times, concerning at most
When I am sober, alone with my thoughts, I thank my skin for existing
With its bumps, bruises, unevenness, and lines
It was made for me
Stretched for my hips, stretched for my being, reminding me that I take up space.
And space is okay.
And it is all around us.
And it is infinite.

And that's how you exist in my head
When I hear your name that's what I think
You're an idea, a mantra
Too big to ever shrink

You're too large to ever wander
Too bright to ignore
And when you come close to me
I get this feeling that assures..
Me.
That you're religious, youre holy
You're a spirit, control me
I speak in tongues, mold me
Don't give in to the old me

Awaken me, give in
To the sinners and the sins.
Be my arms, be my lips
Erase past relationships

Guide me, be my arms
Be my legs, snake my charm
Empty me of loathing
Empty me of clothing.

I am lightning
I am rain
I am glitter down the shower drain
I am lipgloss in the wind
I am angel food cake, sweet and thinned

I'm a hammer, beating down
I'm a rose, thorns in crown
I'm a fall breeze, swift and cold
I'm a melody, sweet and old

I'm the sound you hear when you unlock a locked door
I am the sound that a gun makes when it's cocked more
I am cherries, blueberries, yellow canaries
Flying around like springtime fairies

I am a drip in a cave, an ultraviolet wave
I am the seashells you take home from the seashore to save
I am all these things, I have much more in store
But you'll never know because I'm not yours anymore

I hate that I find beauty as the world burns down around me
The leaves turn red, yellow, orange, dying
I sit there and watch them fall as I read my phone, contemplating how natural it is for them to die
Like clockwork, they break
Like clockwork, they turn

Red sheets and the
Cool sides of my crimson pillow case.
Warm air
Breezes into my brand new place.
My fan is rotating
The birds are conversating
The sun will rise soon
And then it will be noon
And then the day will be done
But I'll still feel the sun
From my heart beat sheets
And my room, complete.

My dreams are more vivid now
I'm out of the fog
I have a schedule, a routine, a home
Yet somehow I still can't sleep
I stay up too late
Just thinking, being, processing myself
Eternally exhausted
Permanent gray weights sit underneath my eyes, pulling them down towards the inferno
I feel pretty though, I get attention
I feel light most days
Until night comes
I slip, I fall, I carry this weight until I'm alone
And it all comes crashing down
In the fog of night.

I laid in your bed, touching your body with the same hands that cursed it hours before
They cursed all men, pointing at the deceit and insecurities I have about myself

They pointed at me, then back at you, then back at me.
A cycle of love and hate, processing and empathy.

The curves of your body made me numb
The vibrations of your pump every hour
The vibrations of your pumping heart every second I could feel it in my hands every time I lingered just a bit too long
My fingers whispering secrets to your skin

As you talked on the phone, worlds away, in your language, I paused
I admired you. Strong not only by the arms I was holding, but by the head I was kissing
Your love for me seemed so great in those 11 hours.

Maybe 10. I'll round up in this case.

2pm and I finally make it back
You text me,

'did you make it back ok?'

It made me smile.
I walked three flights of steps back to my home.

'No, I died'

But part of me had
Friendship had turned to love
Love had turned into resentment
Resentment turned into heartache
They leave they leave they leave. They always leave.
And I sit here, alone
Wondering what I could have done to make you stay.

Maybe I admire the way you treat me as if I'm the only ******* your mind for those 10 hours.
11, I mean.
Maybe I think that the way you soften when I'm near is because of my heart
Maybe it's because I'm young and impulsive
A constant battle between love and hate

Pointing my finger to blame someone, something
Pointing out my flaws
Pointing out the ones who left
Staring in a mirror, I point

Escape is inescapable, pointing is fun
Maybe what I'm looking for is someone to point at me and say 'you're the one'

I saw you posted a few hours ago that it was raining outside your window

It's raining here now - the first time in awhile.
It must be the same storm. How odd that I never think of how close we are
On this tiny little planet
Under this tiny little sun
Feeling the rain from the same storm.

It's funny, isn't it?
The same angels that bowled over your head are still playing
The rain that's falling has been around since earths creation
I hear it pouring now. Loud, but silent.

My mother likes to stand outside and watch the Lightning strike
Maybe she watched the same storm we did
Maybe she's feeling the rain her ancestors felt.
Maybe she's at peace.