When I was young I was invincible,
a spirit of fire but feet like ice.
Now I continue to breathe cause I believe in principle,
but jumped in the darkness and never thought twice.

I'll take full responsibility,
I chose my path out of pleasure.
I'll follow until it kills me,
I'll take any given measure.

For the sins I'll bleed, I acted out of greed,
stole away from the poor and gave to those who didn't need any more.
For the sins I'll bleed, planted a poison seed,
I never thought differently, a disaster symphony.

My past self would be let down by the me of today,
presently I regret my past self in every way.
Now the girl who speaks in the mirror, I can barely hear her,
But I know I fear her and whatever she has to say.

I'll take full responsibility,
I chose my path out of pleasure.
I'll follow until it kills me,
I know it will lead me to treasure.

For the sins I'll bleed, I acted out of greed,
I dug myself into a hole just to only sell my soul.
For the sins I'll bleed, believed it to be a need,
I never thought differently, a disaster symphony.

I am so sick of the crashing cars
The intersections don't make any sense anymore
Everyone's going at the wrong time and it never stopped
I was smiling until I saw smoke
I thought the glass was rain, or fire hydrant had popped, I
Didn't here the sound until I saw him
When they hit, his tire exploded
In a straight-on collision, he pulled over to put his head in his hands
Exasperated relief, he almost made it home
The man on the motorcycle flew over the stoplight
And in that split second we all prayed he sprouted wings and would never come back down
But his vehicle was in pieces hitting my windshield
I was nearly sick at the sound
Dead weight on the road still breathing
I am so sick of never slowing down
It's so impossible
He may never walk again but I couldn't tell you what colour that stoplight was
And the other man won't make it home for dinner
He was so close, did everything right
I hope he kissed his kids before he left that morning
Because he almost didn't make it home
He will. He'll be late but he's coming home.
She isn't.

I'm so sick of the crashing cars and the ambulance sirens
God, the traffic light was on fire
God, my heart stopped when the brakes didn't
My body is decaying
With all of who I was on display for somebody else to clean up
God, put me back into time
I don't want to wander back to the intersection
I've sat on the curb for what must have been hours, but only stared at that one second
I'm still dying

God, I regret every day I spent on my couch
I wasted so much time licking my scars and praying for sleep
Wanting to rest because the world was so heavy and I carried my part
I've learned patience since the then, but here we are
You and I
And the stop light, halfway between yellow and red
I didn't understand while my foot was on the acceleration
I didn't understand speeding until I stopped

God, I was running away from everything
I was looking for something beautiful and I found a fuse
It could've been fireworks or a forest fire and I didn't know until I lit the match
Either way, that car is burning
I can feel the heat from the still flames
Smell the hexane leaking out, seeking ignition
But I can't pull the woman from her car
I can't continue her life for her
That's her decision, or God, maybe it's yours
It was my decision to get into the car this morning

God, I didn't choose death
I chose to ride my bike without a helmet
And to swim all alone at night
But I didn't choose to die
I should have paid more attention in driving school,
Or even just the road that day
It has my complete focus now, my unceasing fascination with this one moment
God, please put me back into time
Let me go with her to the hospital
Let me die there, knowing that she lived

I'll bet she was responsible,
Turned in her homework on time and went to bed at ten
I'll bet she looked both ways and couldn't see me coming on too fast
I'll bet she has a little brother waving her off to college in the fall
And her parents are very proud
God, she has a story
As many hours as I do, an entire life I may have just ended in seconds
She built herself, she wants to be something
She is so beautiful right before the airbag goes off
I died before the airbag could go off
God, I will not give up
I won't leave her,
I'll stay right here in case this second finally bleeds into the next one

You say you love all of me,
like I am your better half.
But half of the things that go through my mind
have only made you laugh.
You say you love my madness,
but your love felt just lukewarm.
While on the inside I'm a commotion;
a constant, violent storm.
You touch me with tenderness.
and I lie that I like it too,
but the truth is that I feel myself
when I am not with you,
because passion and recklessness
find a home in my soul;
so when I am set on fire
is only when I'm free and whole.