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aryanalynae Sep 2020
I fell in love with the way you made me feel safe.
I fell in love with the way your arms made me feel small.
I fell in love with the way your laugh sounded with mine,
I even fell in love with the sadness, the roughness.. fell in love with it all.

But you don't make me feel safe,
You make me feel on edge.
And im in your arms
But im stuck in my head.

And im swimming in my own sadness now,
Because i can't help but playback our memories,
And even though most were good,
The name calling gets the best of me.

I've always done this thing,
Where i spell words inside my head
And usually at night
Im finding letters to lies that you had said.

Forgiving is easy,
But forgetting I cant.
I wish it were different,
Like what we first had.

I dont want to argue
And i dont want either of us broken hearted,
But sometimes fighting comes naturally
When my little heart is so guarded.

Its hard to see a future
When I cant see past next month.
With every fight I lose my faith,
And i dont know if love is enough.

I've spent a lot of time
wasting away my days
And i can't help but wonder
If this is just another case.

I never wanted perfect.
I wanted raw and real,
But now I dont even know what this is,
And i dont even know how to feel.

Its like before a bruise has healed,
Here comes another round of hurt.
And im trying to tend to the pain,
And then you give me just one more burn.

Its like I'm sliding down a rope
And my hands are burning on the way down
It would be easier to just let go,
But im scared to fall 10 inches to the ground.

I cant let go of the idea
That you planted at the start.
Yeah you keep on breaking it,
But Babe.. you have my heart.

I feel out of control.
Because you define my feelings more than I do.
And sometimes I try to take the reigns,
But my heart belongs to you.
aryanalynae Jun 2020
Firmly believed in relying on you
Firmly believed in the truth.
Firmly grasped on strength and ability,
I put all my faith in you.
aryanalynae Jun 2020
every unanswered question
I cried out when I was in pain
I think back to those heartbreaks
and find the answers in your name.

every weak moment was a lesson
it taught me strength to carry through
karate kid' my toxic traits

who knew I was just preparing to love you.

my pen used to only know paper
when I was gray and cold inside.
but your kindness inspires writing,
you've got me addicted between the lines.
aryanalynae Jul 2018
I’m not saying bye this time
Won’t be the first to say hello
Because I’m tired of feeling so high
Only to feel so low

Tired of the dissatisfaction
Tired of my minds replays
Tired of your words
Just tired of being tired all day.

Maybe it’s good
And maybe it’s bad
Maybe it’ll happen
But I’ve detached myself from that

What happens will happen
Let’s just see how it goes
Just want to see how it plays out
You see, I finally let go of the hope
aryanalynae Jul 2018
It’s not me
It’s him
Talking to me
Talking within

Take the thought
Let it go
It isn’t me
Not the girl that I know
aryanalynae Jul 2018
I don’t love like I used to
My heart doesn’t give as much
I blame it on them
But it was your touch.

It was your moves
The way you made me frozen in fear
Beg for your love
But your love was too near

Too close for comfort
You are breaking her heart
In her eyes lies sadness
And she doesn’t even know that part
aryanalynae Jul 2018
They crave to know
But I won’t go
There anymore
I shut that door

Locked it
Threw away the key
Kept the pictures
And I burned all the frames

Images in my head
Memories on repeat
I don’t talk about them
I just keep them close to me
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