Walking in the rain
the clouds a sad shade of gray
I notice my reflection in a puddle
who I was, who I am and who I could have been

The rain washes away all sorrows.  

I am left naked, reborn, looking for my sunny day.

I wish I could crumble away into stardust.
Become one with the universe again.
Let the voids and supernovas consume me.
I hope I am reborn again.
Into something better than I could ever hope to be.

I Cut and Cut to shred away the skin I wore when I was with you.

I tear away the time we’ve had to find the me before you.

Find the old cloth under all the patches you placed over me.

You thought you were fixing me
By covering the holes, the tears, the tatters. Those were me ; my loves my losses, my memories.

By Friends and family I will piece together a new self. They will be the stitches that put me back together and hold me as a reborn whole.

The quilt made by my hand,  held together by my choices. will be all the warmth and comfort I will ever need.

I am free
like the leaf blowing away
dancing in the wind, traveling farther than I've ever been.
A new season brings change
and death so I can start anew.

Mashed up

               mash up

                             smashed up

                                             crushed up

                                                          got back up

                                                                       glued up

                                                                               suited up

                                                                                        straight up
A
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                              A
                                            I
                                                        N

i know how it feels at night
when all you can think about
is your pain.
and how it feels to wake up,
to pick up the broken pieces
and carry them with you
through a whole new day.
i can see the roads
left on your cheeks,
where your tears traveled down
back into your weary heart.
i can hear the words,
under your chest
and in your soul,
the ones you are
afraid to even whisper.
i have walked in your shoes,
and worn out my soles,
trying to run from the hurt
and the reminder of it.
i have felt my own heart
constantly cracking,
like i know you can yours,
until i realized
it could never be whole again,
if hope was not reborn.
so, dear brokenhearted,
please:
do not get tired of waiting.
all your crushed heart needs
is some rebuilding.