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Felt the pretense behind closed eyes,
  composed vibrations of rhetoric              
   freelancing in executing ignis fatuus

drank the kool-aid of your own grandeur
   a punch drunk conviction's onus
   in false pretenses of a  mislead head trip

a study in contradiction's convulsions
    simmered of half past lucid judgement,
   junctures of reality submersed
      in cloudy formations
        impervious to reasoning*

...a saga written upon piqued skies of indifference
SydneyAnn Mar 2015
Sometimes your voice is music to my ears
Sometimes your telling me things that I don't want to hear
Sometimes I can't help but scream at you
theres really not many people I do that too
The disrespect hurts
but I might be taking it out of context
even on your worst days
you never wanted me hurt
which hurt the most
why even care enough to make sure I'm not hurt but not care enough to just be with me like you used too
And I would never say that to your face
I won't beg for you
I will be fine
but I also would be with you right now if the choice was mine
I don't have enough in me for the both of us though
Im thin
Im down to the bone
hardly enough love in here to keep me going
but there is
Im picking myself up
and Im leaving you behind and underneath me
I just wanted to write it down to mark the last feeling for you that I gave the time of day
SydneyAnn Feb 2015
I lost control
and now I can't see straight
my mind was yours to unfold
but now I can't dictate
what you know and what you weren't told

I went back in time
but this was in a dream, not reality
I told you things that I had hidden inside
and this was so real to me
what hurts is that it never existed in your world

Maybe I never existed in your world
nothing to this but the cycle
So what if there's a new season ,
time dont mean a thing

Based upon an old self /
you are a shiver and a coma
And im just settling

Starting to think we really were made
For this day and age - these lights
Your scarlet face / the waves
"It's gonna be OK"
How do you know?
Have you ever felt this way?

"Stay Strong"
For much longer?
It's already been so long...

"You'll survive"
But I'm losing motivation
I don't have the will or drive...

"It will pass"
Possibly... But..
How long is it gonna last?

"There's always tomorrow"
You don't know that
Tonight could be the night I decide to go...

"You'll find someone to love you"
But I'm lonely now,
I need help to make it through

"You're resilient"
Maybe...
But I could still use a friend...

"I understand"
No, you don't
Please don't ever say that
You really have no clue
About all the things I'm going through

"I know you're sad, just try to think positive"
I positively think my mind's destructive

"You can handle it"
What if I don't want to?
What if I don't want hurt again?
What if this is the end?

"You'll figure it all out"
And if I don't...
Will you be there when I go down?
Help me up from off the ground?

"I'm here for you"*
Yea...  
Thanks...  
Me too...
No offense, please, to all my friends and loved ones who have and probably will say these things. It's nice and I'm glad y'all care but sometimes it's just not enough or the right thing to say. I love y'all though.  ❤
Josh May 2013
There was a reason I did what I did for a reason.
A reason the reason was there for a reason.
A reason for stopping. A reason. A thing.
And a reason to stop thinking reasons for things.
But the thing might still reason to thingstop and stop.
All this reasoning and then when the reason is got.
All the reasons for things I'll stop reasoningstop.
And just thingdrop my reasons.

The reasoning lot.
Zead Jun 2014
"The ocean, the shore, and the grass

The difference between them three"

Can one see where I am?

Here laying in the grass,

Following up to what appears

To be whatever it appears to be

I can’t tell what I need

So content without

But so colorful when you look out

The shore

Like therapy that leaves its mark

I need to be washed

The remains of the abyss

Sink me in

The agony of the hot sun

Wearing me out till I become none

I need to go

Where the tides say no

The ease of the lake

My past feels fake

Will I ever respawn

‘*** now I’m forever gone
was lost in the first place but thanks to subjectivity that i know that.
Original interpretations
Lake-my “fantasy”
Shore-the revealed desire within me
The grass-before ignorance was known as bliss

take this how you want
Jazzelle Monae Apr 2014
your reasoning falters
it alters
it fails
your opinions
they matter
to you
and none else
your pride is weak
it's bleak
and it's sour
and this is why
we don't care
for your power
your reign?
it's a game
played in the dark
no lights for kings
no last remark
time to revoke
your rules
we call jokes
because in the end
this is what
you've provoked
© 2014 by Jazzelle Monae. All rights reserved.
Anonymous Mar 2014
As I laid in my bed,
So many thoughts encompassed my brain;
I couldn't fathom the concept of myself.
Why was I put on this Earth?
If everything truly does happen for a reason,
What was the reason of my existence?

— The End —