POWER in the blood
Is no STRENGTH of mine
’Tis so sweet to TRUST in Jesus!”
I shout in  jest
            Aging way before my time

“It ain’t well at all!”  I rage
In berefted soul
I writhe and waste and pine AWAY
YET you refuse to make me WHOLE

You deny me fadeless hope
You forego my cry for PERFECT LOVE
You chastise my ask for LIGHT
You DISAVOW me PEACE AT ALL

You hide your HEALING HAND
You disrobe so I can’t TOUCH
I’ll never RISE AGAIN
When gifted DEATH & CROSS

Be thou my VISION
For I no longer SEE
This AMAZING GRACE I’ve once heard of
Isn’t really FREE

In this garden of silent PRAYER
I determine not to speak
Cause nothin’ but
THE BLOOD OF CHRIST


Means nothing to a Death Eater’s
Unremitting
Unrepentant
Unforgiving
Dance with Midnight’s GRIEF

I am calm and swell
but also a storm that
will never burn out

8:07 PM
1/10/20

"What is wrong with you"
Says some candy *** *****
Will what is wrong with you
As it's normal to be sensual
And ****** its
A ******* part of being a person
No matter
Who twisted
My desires seem

Mesmerized by what lies inside
Dwells in my skull, lives in my mind
Showing me, these corrupted dreams
Behind my eyes, more than it seems

Wilted roses, pouring rain
Not a word but the roaring pain
Scratching and tearing, flesh left raw
Growling and biting and sharpening claws

Shining eyes belie rage denied
Moonlit skies, moonstruck cries
Enraged and entrapped by thorns, kept safe
Let us loose, witness our showcase

"Your life isn't hard, it has no stress
I am kindred, so I know best"
Without, surveillance, how could you know
I'm all wound up and I'm ready to go!

Don't tell me what I have not felt
Don't tell me about the cards I've been dealt
You suffer too, we both suffocate
Can't ease our symptoms unless we medicate!

Angry you've been, angry I am!
You've walked in these shoes so you should understand!
Crimson is our bloodline, destroy what we hate!
I hate myself so it's only my fate!

Yet tell me I'm joking, call me a mimic
It ****** me off so I don't want to hear it!
How can you act like you knew all along
I don't ******* get it, YOU'RE SO ******* WRONG!

Authorities called, was a couple of years
Seeing you talking, confirmed all my fears
You haven't a clue, you don't understand,
I have no filters, I say what I am!

When I cry out for help and you tell them I'm fine
I can't confess these desires for crime!
You say there's no worry, you say I'm okay
WHO THE **** ARE YOU TO SAY!

You think you know me, you know nothing at all!
YOU, KNOW, NOTHING AT ALL!
YOU, KNOW, NOTHING AT ALL!
YOU, KNOW, ABSOLUTELY **** ALL!

So keep on talking, it amuses me so
This pain and this anguish, denied by your hope
Deluded you are, remember this thought:
No such roses, grow such thorns!

When I was a girl
my mother trained me to be docile.
"If you ignore them, they will move on" she would say,
brushing the comb through my hair as I whined at every knot she pulled.
I learned to shrink,
to be an unworthy target left less blood in my mouth.
I learned to hide,
if they could not see me there would be no meat for them to pull from my bones.
I learned to be afraid,
because fear is the instinct that has left us alive.

When I was 15,
they told me I was strong
as my spine curved
to keep my head below the water
and the sun off my face,
but the more child-like my disposition
the more they wanted to hear me scream.

Now I am a woman
who pulls her hair into buns because they are harder to grab
and I no longer whine as I pull through the knots
but my eyes still water at the sting.
I have been labeled a *****
rude
bossy
annoying
but I would rather be a ***** than dead.

I used to think shrinking would make me undesirable
but being small did not stop them from devouring me.
So I have grown fangs through this smile,
made myself too big to consume
if they want to eat me
they will have to eat me as I am,
with all my sharpened edges and tough skin.
I am the woman who has grown fangs
and I will not make myself small and easily digestible for anyone anymore.
You may consume me,
but you will bleed for it.

Rage
Rage

Go into that darkened light

Rage
Rage

Kiss my lips and tell me how to die
Expect us to change
Trapped like a rat in its cage

Rage
Rage

Fight against the dying of the light
Found myself in the shadows
Of Prometheus’s might
***** the candle
Drink from the poisonous well
Listen to the chiming of Deaths bell.

Rage
Rage

Sing the funeral song
Fight against the darkened light
Give us one last fight

Rage
Rage

Against the darkened light

To the victims of the 9/11 attacks
I apologize as a Muslim and a human being
For what those ******* did to you
If I had the choice I would die protecting
You
As for the *******
Who ******* up everything
Might I suggest
An apology to vics, muslims
And to Allah and Mohammed
(Pbuh)
For acts of sheer insanity
And murderous rage






‎لضحايا هجمات الحادي عشر من سبتمبر
‎ أعتذر كمسلم وإنسان
‎ على ما فعله هؤلاء المتسكعون لك
‎ إذا كان لدي الخيار فسوف أموت وأنا أحمي
‎ أنت
‎ أما المتسكعون
‎ من أفسد كل شيء
‎ قد أقترح
‎ اعتذار لفيكس المسلمين
‎ وإلى الله ومحمد
‎ (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)
‎ لأفعال الجنون المطلق
‎ والغضب القاتل

fires raged as the winds fueled their fervor
taking on anything in their path with incredible force
moving across the ground and leaping up to reach higher fuel
doing only what fires do...
moving with the wind and leaving a path of blackened surface
is this our new reality...?

Brian Hill - 2020 # 247