Nothing made me angrier than when
You expected the best from me and I
Felt like it was unfair, and I couldn’t do
What everyone else could, that I didn’t
Have the tools, that this was a race but
I was positioned behind the
Starting line.

I thought you didn’t understand.

And you didn’t.

But you pushed me farther than I thought
I could go, you told me that I could do it—
That I had to.
You held me to that same gold standard,
On the bad days and the good days and
The days in between, you never wavered
And you never gave me the option to
Quit.

So I ran that race, and I ran it fast
I sprinted and leaped and speeded past
Everyone else, despite where I started,
And all I could feel was the rush in the air,
The breath in my veins and the wind in my hair,
The power of my stride, the power of my will,
The strength of my wholeness, this strength I could feel,
And every time, I thought I could not do it.

You did not know my pain—
Yet you pushed me right through it.

I tried
I tried
I tried
I hurt
You thrived
I tried
I hung on
I’m tired
You’re gone.

Honestly. I'm tired of hearing it. Who are you? What are you going to do in life? How will you make your mark? What will you amount to?
That's not a real career. Have you thought about something else as a more practical career? You won't succeed.

How can I think freely if all my thoughts are full of holes? Everyone nitpicking them until they no longer exist, what's the point of even trying?
How can I succeed if everyone pushes me back into my bubble? What am I supposed to do if I can't even leave? No one expects me to leave, either.

How am I supposed to get anywhere if I'm surrounded by high expectations? What am I supposed to accomplish? I can't get anywhere today. The bar's too high. All I can do is complain. Is this really all I can do? It's so... awful. It's a bother. It's a nuisance. I hate it. What am I meant to be?

I guess your story dont really matter unless you beat a ****** case.
Unless you sell a lot of plates.
Unless you gang banging your set
With a gun and big chain.
Fell into this life young
but I’m im glad that I got out safe.
Came sacrifices from my body
But I still made it out that place.
Others weren’t so lucky
to live and see another day.
Some spent their time in prison
Came home and found another way.
Some do the same ****
Guess they learning the hard way.
If he’s was smart he’d take his family
And move far far away.
Man I live for the vision
But the time is just ticking.
I give this **** my all
and never planned on quitting.
Seen ****** blow up with one song
And I ain’t ego trippin.
It’s just been ten years of grinding
On this one big mission.
All the days through depression
Staring gaze at a weapon.
Spin the chamber put to my head
if it bang it’s a blessing.
Some say it’s weak
I say easy it’s if you tired of living.
Hard to fight back when your body has been wired to give in.
Needed god to pick me up
But I just kept on slipping.
Some just keep on smoking.
Some just keep on drinking.
I just keep on thinking
When will I be winning.

Assumptions: make them
Lies: deal them
Feelings: disregard them;
for they will be wrong anyway
Definitions: adopt them

Privacy: error
Rights: error
Individuality: error

Conformity: accept

Give me nothing
But time
Everything within

  This wanting to be of something
    And there will be neither writing
Nor ending

   For a summer storm

But combined

      And in giving me a required aim
  When there is sound to be found

And creation to pro

  Then the writing will flow
As if out of a struck desert stone
      And swell

Does the line of comfortability change due to culture? Can you handle less because maybe you did not handle more? Are you over sensitizing because I overheard? Telling me to watch the words I learned at a young age because Susies mom taught her kids those terms?

Do you only laugh at the people you enjoy? Respect the same of your own? Can you respect me even if you don't agree, I don't want to come at you, I don't think Im right but I don't think Im wrong. Agree to disagree simple to say it .

You tell me.... "I AM" part of the queer community as if I don't love a good ***** in the face.
You tell me WHO you are and assume who I am not.
I don't want to take away your voice, I don't disagree, I just wanna say mine too and how I feel....