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traces of being Nov 2016
back from the brink
of blindly falling;
back alone again
in a crowded room

there is no bridge
over troubled waters,
no way to purge
vast oceans
when deep rivers foment
pitch black
swallowed by an insatiable sea

no good shepherd to gather
an abandoned black sheep
cast heedlessly away
from the fold

unbefriended
like a dogless bone

a stain on impeccable sublime
a hopeless wanderer
stalled on the brink
of a threshold lost in time

purge me from your poetry
so I won’t remember
the insatiable  ache
of inerasable words
left unsaid

you lured me out
from the cold & darkness
to freeze my heart
in naked light of day

purge me from your poetry
like you spilled me
from your heart;
don’t come back here
to this slippery, lonely edge,
just to bid adieu

as if I didn't notice you were gone

purge me from your poetry
so I can accept without
sorrow's ache so deep;
in unbroken silence
a heart silent  atones not pretense,

and yet,

the only lie you whispered was "friend"



November 2016  ... wild is the wind
Lose weight
2, 5, 7, 10 pounds a week
You're still fat
Restrict no food for a week
Under 200 calories everyday
Get skinny
Too skinny
Do it
You'll just go back anyway
40 lost 9 weeks
Now we go faster and harder
Look, you're in control
Can't find that anywhere else
17 in 4 weeks
Then on 'til death
But you won't look like you have no self control like when you were 40 pounds over weight
Hey, did you know that you still need to lose a lot
Ya still look fat pig
aimee achten Jun 2016
Is it really possible for me,
to be what they want to see?
Though I've never done it before its there, the urge
it sit still as stone until violently it screams, "just purge".
The smell off food cooking is like poison yet i eat
and eat
and eat
until all I've done for an hour and a half is eat.
my skin quivers and crawls,
no escape from these four walls.
This house is like a prison cell,
all you can hear is the ringing of a bell,
though logically you no its silent,
but silence is most definitely violent.
And so the struggle begins again
to avoid that horrid gain.
Fifteen points of light,
no matter which order counted,
  fifteen points of light become one.

A year of rigor,
well documented flash and swords,
   become grainy, a grid near thin smiles.
  
Bring to me that germ, speak with me and smile.
Regulator of past or present.
  Sympathetic magic, dry bones.

Roots of the low density mountain.
Effigies or in ****** form?
This office, without light.

Movement in the belt of crust.
               A breath moves, another escapes.

Fifteen points of light removed.

Pony trick. Oats I trade for honey.
Hoarse electric wind, not cooling hotter rocks.
Stirring years.  l'Enfer

Wait.

Maybe this page is turned then torn.
(listen now as these seconds vanish)

Avec un lourd trophée à son bras puéril,

man removes himself, others follow.
22.  Parsifal by Paul Verlaine V. 8
I'm gonna unfollow everyone whom i currently do, and begin the list again, so as to renew the chaos that is the influx of beautious word-art I so enjoy and revere, but so seldom have time to sift through and give the attention and mind that is warranted to each and every one created by all'a y'all wonderous souls.

if I neglect to re-add anyone, please do not take it personally! anyone who is ostensibly active enough on my posts will, for obvious reasons, be most likely to be put back on my stalking list.

I realize this might come off as a bit selfish or narcissistic, perhaps vain or something,
and it very well might be,
but I'm strangely okay with that.
If you have a bone to pick with that,
I beseech thee to consider the following:
what part of you wants it to be that way,
what that reduction allows you to justify,
and how that makes you feel.
Just some fast food for thought.
;)

much love to you all,
and blessings upon thy paths.
see you in the future!
She
She wanted to be pretty, she wanted to be accepted.
Nobody loved her not even herself.
So she decided to lose weight, she just wanted to be pretty
"10 pounds," she said.
She started exercising a few times a week and eating less.
Then every few days turned into everyday and less became nothing.
The voice in her head got louder. *"How many secrets can you keep?"

No one talked to her except the voice inside her head.
10 pounds became 15
15 became 20
20 became 25
and 25 became 30
She stood in front of the mirror, naked, smiling
hipbones jutting out of her body, spine showing.
She put her hand around her wrists and touched her pinky to her thumb.
She was so happy standing there smiling her bones showing an extreme amount.
She finally felt happiness, she was finally pretty.
She failed to notice anything happening around her, distancing herself from everyone because that's what Ana said to do.
She always listened to Ana.
Ana told her no one would love her if she was fat.
Ana said she needed to lose more weight, that she was still fat.
So that's what she did, but sometimes she would lose control and eat and eat and eat.
She had to throw it up she couldn't keep that inside and let it sit. She had to get rid of it.
So she did she threw up until she couldnt throw up anymore.
She hit a new low, 80 pounds.
And that was it that was the end. Her mom found her lying on the bathroom floor. Unconscious and she panicked. How could she have not noticed?
Now her baby was gone, dead, she couldn't bring her back.
Ana took control of her life and stole it. Stole her soul, her personality, her identity, her life
She mind was dark and her body was thin, all she ever wanted was to be pretty. But what she thought was beauty cost her, her life.
Johnny Amadeo Feb 2016
Nowadays, we learn that size is everything

We learn not to believe in the comforting words of our peers,

We learn, thinner you are, the more you're worth.

It seems that we've become archeologists, because all we want to see are bones.

You are only valuable if we can see your bones.

And now, we see these kids who suffer in silence, who intentionally skip their meals, who take fingers to their throat, or go to the store to look for skinny pills and laxatives

It isn't something these kids can just stop,  it becomes part of them

It went from an experience to a habit.

From a habit to an addiction.
From an addiction and now a condition

A year later those same  kids are going to treatment for heart disease, ulcers, and eating disorders. They'll go to the dentist for their tooth enamel that no longer even exists

But how did they let it get this far?
How did WE let it get this far?

They begged and begged but little did they know how much they were really losing besides weight.

They have lost their time, their dignity, their self worth, their identities, and possibly their lives.

It wasn't their fault, they just wanted to be pretty

This should not be the cost of beauty.
Ever.
Mysterious Aries Oct 2015
As my fingers punches each letter
And vandalize the blank wall
Purging what's inside, at most all bitter
The lonely journey of the bliss less soul

Why? Of all emotions
At most I choose the time of my pain
To evaporated into the clouds
And turns the season into rain

I am looking for that colorful sign of hope
But sometimes I'm getting tired
Living my life on this endless loop
Misery always transpired

But why those blind aren't quitting life's game
Hopeful and thankful to the mighty Lord
By then my eyes shattered some tiny white grains
That touches the face of my keyboard


10/6/2015
Mysterious Aries
Morgan Floyd Oct 2015
See that blade?
imagine its smooth edge kissing your skin
allowing lovely scarlet blood to
drown away every sin.

See that mirror?
imagine loving your reflection
having no flaws, you'd never be
swarmed by rejection.

See that girl?
imagine being that size
you could shop freely without
being criticized.

See that lighter?
imagine it's hot flame sending a sensation
of tingly pain through your body
releasing any stress and tension..

See that toilet?
imagine purging that meal.
forcing all the food out till strong shivers
shake your spine; think of how good being thin would feel.

See your family?
imagine them always being happy
their lives can be great even if yours is a living hell
keep it all a secret, you don't have to tell.

See those pills?
imagine them really working
no more depression, anxiety, or tormenting dark thoughts
imagine all you could be
take them all, it's sure to set you free.

...? Can You Imagine ?...
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