.
One day at a time
swings the pendulum;
only love awakens senses
too ephemeral to be restrained,
like the magic of a phonograph stylus
in a vintage vinyl groove
and the sensual touch
      of skin so new

It's not easy to watch
a flock flying away
      in the distance,
seeing the expanse beyond
reach of a wandering mind;

      heed distracted
      by the slow sway
of the treetops hypnotic careen

Doves dive on feathered canter,
      silent as the winged wind,
broke free from the gravity
      befallen the weight
            of the world
                                                
      Look­ing up wondering
            beyond the sky,
         the passing clouds
            crawl across
palliating the dusk hazed horizon

Synchronicity transcends across
an immeasurably deep river chasm,
      into a wordless abyss
      ensconced unthought
              between
        here and there

Silent silhouettes
            glide across
      the valley void below,
            wings to the sky

and, if you listen to a moment breathe,
            you can hear
                  the silent peace .............

you can feel the prevailing wind's direction
            blowing through your soul


             Jesse Stillwater
            December 2017

You are there in air
rustling in leaves
whooshing in sonorous song
chiming in wind among the trees.

Even here on this silver screen
you beam key to key bouncing
exciting protons making small creatures
one character at a time.

You even whisper so quietly
in the daily hum of my life
I rarely hear or notice
the strong power of your love.

How can I miss the soft sound
hiding in the passages of my day
in my every breath
you traveling freely
in every molecule of my being?

I need to try harder
second to second
to listen first
to the sibilant sound
of you tiptoeing
in the background
your acoustic presence
in every step I take
every noise I make
every thought I conceive
you never never leave
me here or anywhere alone.

Sometime you seem nearly silent
until you roar back in the hymns
I can hear if I but listen
for you in the voices
of strangers, enemies and friends.  

You seem invisible
until I open my eyes
to you there in the creases
frowns and smiles
of every person I pass.

You are a symphony
and its composer
I can encounter
if I pay the coin of my attention
in the small moments of my day.

This day I hope
I can wake up
to the holy
all around
in every sight
in every sound
in the silences
tucked away
in between.

I am not here now.
Not available,
Absent. Not present.

Hijacked,
Held hostage,
******* in a tangled web
Of locks and chains.

Trapped,
Houdini like,
In a cage and thrown
Into the turbulent waters
Of my shark infested mind.

****** in by a
Whirlpool of stories,
My thoughts spin
Epic myths,
Fantastical tales,
Dark fantasies and
Cheap thrillers.

Each teasing,
taunting and
goading me
To disconnect,
Shutdown,
To flee from
This moment.

This tender,
Aching moment.
This unashamed longing,
Drenched in the desire
To be penetrated by
Your presence,
To free fall into
The lap of the Beloved.

But you, like me,
Are not here now,
Not available,
Absent. Not present.

Why did you have to leave so soon, you were supposed to see all the dreams you told me I had would some day come true. Six years gone by and I still feel you here . I just want to hug you close and tell you how much you mean to me , I love you big but Lord my friend all these men you left behind , all for me to contend with   I hear your laughter , pretty funny you think , I could use some words  of wisdom my friend , only you would know what to say , be it biblical, comical, serious, or pointless I just need to hear your advise right now God I miss you every day. From Paul to Scott no never met Brent , all the way to your baby boy Nick , of coarse I saved him for last cause Jimmy Rogers if I know you , you Are propped against that cloud with a huge smile on your face sitting so proud of those boys you made . Thanks for coming to see me today , even though it's not how I planned it I remember what you use to say , be patient for it's all in God's Hands and He's the one with the plans. I hope your presence never leaves , I love you and miss you and all your boys and your best friend does too , we will all meet again one day Fly High my friend save us all a place in that beautiful sky right there beside you.

Here I sit in this holy room
Surrounded by God and a heavenly host
Of saints and angels who give him glory.
Each changed by the body and blood
The power of love and beauty in the sacrifice.
Here I sit in this holy room
A witness to the saving power
A devotion to the perpetual presence
Of Christ with us and in us.
We are each bearers of light, bearers of Christ;
We carry him in us wherever we go.
Here I sit in this holy room
To listen and take in this wondrous gift.
I choose to accept this gift.
How can I not want to share this love with others?
How can I keep from singing and shouting His name?
Here I sit in this holy room
Holy Spirit fill this place and my soul,
Uplift them to the throne of God above.
Start a fire in me that cannot be quenched
And set in me the bright flame of love and passion.
Lead my feet and guide my steps along the path
Be my compass and my Northern Star
So I may never lose my way;
So I can always find my way back home.
Here I sit in this holy room
To add my voice to those around the world
At this moment praying for a change
In others and in their own lives:
Praying for safety and peace,
Understanding and patience.
Praying for survival, praying for the faith's revival.
Praying with men and women past and present
To call upon your aid as we aid those in need.
We pray for many things: our families, friends, nation.
We pray for each other, we pray for ourselves.
Lead us to you, take us closer to your merciful heart,
Love us and heal us and teach us where to start.
Here I sit in this holy room
I give thanks for the gift of undeserved love
And cast my gaze to Heaven above.

I'm with you right now
...next to you....
inside you
lighting up any of those dark corners.