I'm afraid the only time you and I, my dear, will ever be together,

Is right here in this poem.

And if that doesn't make me want to bleed blood from my wrists all over this paper instead of words from my mouth,

I don't know what will.

I guess I'm just one of those "lovesick, pathetic, try-too-hard's."

The one who uses their prayers to pray for you.

The one who uses their 11:11 wishes to wish for you.

The one who picks eyelashes from their crying eyes to hope and beg for you.

I guess I'm just one of those lovesick, pathetic, try-too-hard's.

Just hoping to be with you.

But having to face the harsh reality that people like me only end up with people like you,

In poems like this.

the realization
that i only exist
whenever you're bored
and want someone in your bed
use me however you need
turn aside, fall asleep
wake up in the morning
as i lay on the other side of the bed
curled up into a ball,
pathetic and alone
and do it all over again
this circle
of pleasure and
shut down affections
i can't ever make you see
that i am more than just a body
i don't even think
that i am
it isn't sad
it's

I'd say I'm sad, disenchanted,
uninspired, unmotivated,
****** up, beaten,
tired, depressed,
already dead,
hopeless,
but hah.

I know I'm just *pathetic.

I keep the details dim
So on the outside looking in
Nothing is as at seems
Everything just beams
It all seems so copacetic
But it's really so pathetic
Before long I'll need a paramedic

i smoke cigarettes out
of sheer boredom,
not the kind that makes you
want to **** yourself, no
a different kind of
boredom
probably the one that
makes you want to do nothing
but sit and enjoy
how pathetic you are.

the streets are dark and
uninspiring
a bit like my past
where everything that happened
happened without a sound

my birth, how much i hated
company as a young girl,
my sister's birth, my brother's time
in jail, the pathetic love of
my pathetic life.

but it's not pathetic  when
it's unnoticed and this
sad excuse of a poem isn't
the last i write, nor is this
cigarette the last
i smoke.


-- Eleanor

I don't see the point of your glare
Staring, and calling me unfair
There is no need to feed
My overflowing despair.

You say my eyes seem empty
And lack of emotion,
Well, it was no lie
When they said  eyes
Reflect what's inside.

I am not heartless
On the contrary,
I got so much of it
That I can't stand it
Feelling everything
I wish I was hearless.

But what did you expected
I was promised the sky
And got thrown to the ground.

Trudging up flight of stairs,
Heaving with stacks of book,
Tipping my head for a glimpse,
But your gaze had me on hook.
With composure I strolled on,
The flutters stayed in my heart,
Without a break in our stare,
You smiled and made me fall apart.
No deeper meaning existed,
Only a simple common courtesy,
Never once have I ever beg for more,
Still do show me some mercy.
It wasn't love nor a like,
Yet there were hidden feelings,
I know it's simply a dream,
But I can't help but keep falling.